Transcriber: Deera Army Pramana Reviewer: Anna Sobota
Fall down the spiral stairs,
being attacked by a dog,
being the awkward friend,
traveling by a plane,
leaving your family,
and death -
Woah, such a visual fears.
Our brain is gifted with the power to create atmospheres.
We have been introduced to fear from a young age.
It all started with our parents telling us,
“Don’t go to the basement because there’s a monster.”
And now,” if you don’t study, you will lose all of your happy years.”
As we grow up, we learn that there are no monsters hiding under our bed,
so we don’t have to check our bed every day
and eating an apple a day doesn’t keep the doctor away.
However, some of our fears remain with us as we grow.
I’m pretty sure most of you know
that presence of that specific fear for a really long time.
For a moment, I want you to visualize fear
as a gum that is stuck to your hair -
pretty disgusting if you ask.
The more you try to get rid of that gum, the stronger and stickier it gets.
At some point, you have to cut that part of your hair
and have an uneven haircut, which is not cool.
Fear works the same way.
The more you try to get rid of it, the more you try to reject,
the stronger it gets.
When you experience fear, there is a dramatic physical change
deep inside your brain, all the way to your muscles in your legs,
and this happens within a second.
This is all thanks to your nervous system,
also known as your fight or flight response.
Your fight or flight response controls your
breathing system, heart rate and digestion.
When you experience fear, there is a dramatic change:
your heart rate increases, you breathe faster,
your adrenaline glands secrete more adrenaline, if you know biology.
Also your muscles tense up.
The blood flow to your brain decreases, so you can’t think logically.
“Why am I scared of this? What will happen?”
These are the questions most of you ask.
Well, I want to open up about my own experience
and how I overcame most of my fears.
During strict quarantine times back in 2020,
I experienced a high level of anxiety and fear.
I have read many books on psychology,
and one way to acknowledge my fear was to write a list of my fears on a paper.
After writing them down, I had to understand the presence of that fear.
Mostly I ask myself this question:
“Will I die if this fear will turn into reality?”
Very basic question, if you ask.
But this helped me a lot because 99 % of the time, the answer was no.
“No, Madina, you’re not going to die if this fear will turn into reality.”
Don’t ask about the 1 %.
Well,
after writing them down and understanding their presence,
I had to burn or rip the paper, so I will never see that fear again.
Well, the key point here is that
our fears are divided into two categories: rational and irrational.
Rational fears such as fear of fighting, fear of dogs,
they actually protect us.
They serve to protect us. They serve for danger.
Not many people understand that,
and I didn’t understand that when I was young.
However, irrational fears such as fear of failure, fear of socializing,
they have no harm or physical damage.
Rather than helping us for life-threatening scenarios,
these fears have potential to change your life-changing experiences.
Well, I took a glance at my paper
and realized that most of my fears were irrational,
and these fears were stopping me from really good events.
Sorry.
Well, at that moment, I knew I had to take an action.
Now, we’ve all been there:
we have to lose weight, we have to get in shape.
And it’s just not that easy to say,
“Okay, I’m going to get in shape” and just sit on your couch.
You have to activate your muscles.
You have to go to the gym, you have to get on a bike,
and you have to do something to activate your muscles so you lose weight.
Well, coincidentally, our brains work the same way.
We have to exercise our brain so we win our fears.
And the action we have to take is directly opposite way to our fear.
Well, I want to say some of my own examples,
such as if I was scared of socializing,
I would be the first one to open and initiate a communication.
If I was scared of small places also known as claustrophobia,
I would use elevator rather than using the stairs.
Yes, in the beginning, I felt very out of my comfort zone.
I couldn’t believe that I was using an elevator, not stairs.
But step by step, I’m learning to reject my fears and live with their presence.
Well, actually, today
I won. I won.
Microphone is gone, okay,
but better you will hear it with my voice.
I won my irrational fear of public speaking.
And by participating in this event, I won my public speaking fear.
And thank you for having your participation with me in this fear.
Thank you.
(Applause)