- Welcome to The Ladies' Room,
I'm Kelsey, and today we have
my mentor, long-lost mom, someone I aspire to be
very much like.
- Your spirit animal?
- My spirit animal, Nicole Polizzi's here.
How are you?
- Hi guys.
- Thanks so much for joining us in the Ladies' Room.
- Hey, Snookie, we're very excited to have you.
- Oh, my God you scared me.
- This is Kate - [Nicole] You terrified me.
- [Kelsey] What are you doing over there?
- I didn't realize I wore this outfit twice in a row
and I saw the same guy here.
- Did you change your underwear?
- I'm not wearing it, so--
- Oh, that's good, easy access.
- I love your personality and you just are who you are
because I feel like I'm the same way--
- You're the same person.
- And recently, I've discovered
that I'm battling with the word pussy.
Cause - [Nicole] Bleah, eww.
I hate that word you're so gross.
- Really? Hear me out.
Because I think having (mmhmmhmm)
is a very powerful thing, right?
Like we run the world.
Calling someone that is actually a compliment.
- How come we don't call people ballsacks?
Cause ballsacks are really sensitive.
- And gross.
- But like, vaginas can take a beating.
- I heard you were on Kocktails with Khloe recently.
- Yeah, I blacked out.
- How was that?
- So we got to Khloe's and we were just in the waiting room,
and I was like, where's the liquor?
I was like, why am I here?
We ended up drinking a bottle of champagne to ourselves
so right when I walked out I was already, like, lit.
And then she bought me like three drinks
and I don't remember the whole segment of that show.
- Is Khloe cool?
- She's cool, yeah.
- Do you like me or her better?
You don't have to answer that but, do.
- Yeah.
(girl power, whooo)
- You are the queen of DIY.
You love - [Nicole] I try.
- [Kelsey] You love like crafts and flipping
and slipping and blipping
- It's my therapy.
- You're really good at that stuff so,
I have a scenario for you.
I broke a strap on my dress.
- This dress is so gross. - [Kelsey] I know.
- [Nicole] I'd rather wipe my vag with it.
- I'm gonna give you this.
- I can't sew.
- And then all of this stuff (Nicole burps)
that's in my purse.
- Sorry it was a mimosa.
- No, I love it.
We're gonna have 30 seconds
to do as much fixing of the dress strap.
Go!
Has this ever happened to you, have you ever, like,
broken a heel, or like, a strap or anything
and had to continue being out?
- I broke a heel at my wedding
- What? - [Nicole] I just kept going.
- Girl! Priorities, you guys.
Wait you broke a heel? - [Nicole] - That should work.
(bell dings) - Wait, that was it!
- It's not gonna stay but it'll do good until you get home.
- You guys, that worked.
- [Nicole] Paper clamp.
- [Kelsey] That fuckin' worked.
So now we're gonna play Jesus Take the Wheel.
- Did you make this?
- Our lovely intern Dan made it.
- Oh. Is he gay?
- Yes. Can you tell?
- Yes.
- So we're gonna spin the wheel
and whatever it lands on, we're gonna do.
- OK - [Kelsey] Go for it.
(energetic music)
Wine! - [Nicole] Oh my God!
- I've got red and white.
- I do red because I'm classy,
and you do white cause you're a ho.
Aren't you working? You get paid to get drunk.
- I get paid to get drunk.
- Me, too. Well, I used to.
- Bottoms' up. - [Nicole] Cheers.
- [Nicole] You are me like three years ago.
- God, that's like the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
- That's like the most amazing compliment you can ever get.
- That's all I really wanted out of this was a friend.
- Um, quick question.
- Hey, Kate, what's up?
- Girl on Instagram and it was like a group picture
and she cropped me out of the picture
to put it on Instagram, does that mean she hates me?
- I think it's because you're hotter than her
and she didn't want people to see it.
- You were my favorite person before,
you're like 10 times more my favorite person now.
- So are you gonna like, un-follow her on Instagram
or what do you do in that situation?
- No I'll probably keep following her.
- Can I bring you tanning?
- Can you please?
I'm from Florida, they're chicken wings.
- They're literally chicken wings.
- But don't they kind of look good?
I mean wouldn't you maybe,
if you were drunk enough, bite them?
If they were tanned would you?
- Yes.
- Do you ever feel like when you're drunk
you're a little bit psychic?
- I'm actually trying to open my third eye
so I can be a psychic.
I believe in, like, ghosts and shit,
so I'm trying to do that.
- Wait, so you, like, wanna see ghosts and stuff?
- I already sense them and I feel them.
- What are you gonna do though when you meet a ghost?
Cause I feel like once I see a ghost
I would have no idea what the fuck to do with them.
- I would say, can you get Michael Jackson,
cause I want to talk to him.
- Sometimes when I'm drunk I just feel like
I can predict the future, but--
- Alright, predict my future right now.
- You're gonna have a UTI in the next six weeks.
- Probably, I used to get them
all the time on Jersey Shore.
Instead of going to the doctors and getting antibiotics,
I just drank tequila to subside the pain.
- And you're fine.
You're like the friend I want to have.
I don't have many friends, can you tell?
- Ouch.
- Sorry, Kate, I forgot you were in there.
- We've come to our last segment,
I'm just gonna throw a bunch of questions at you
and you have 30 seconds to answer them.
- What's your signature drink?
- Um, wine, red.
- What's your hangover cure?
- Um, mimosas.
- What's the weirdest thing you ever wiped with?
- Um, a diaper.
- Excuse to leave a party?
- I'm horny.
- Favorite famous animal?
- A cat is a famous animal?
- There are famous cats.
- What's the best nickname you've ever been given?
- Sexpot.
- Go-to food when drunk?
- Pizza.
- What's your bedtime on a school night?
- Seven.
- And what's your bedtime on a weeknight?
Like on the weekend.
- Before or after being a mom?
- Before. - [Nicole] Five AM.
- [Kelsey] And after? - [Nicole] 10 AM.
(bells ding) - That's it! You did it!
Do you think we'll be friends?
- Um, if you buy me drinks.
- The way we end this is we take a selfie with our Polaroid.
- OK.
And then we hang it on the wall with all the cool,
badass bitches who have come through The Ladies' Room.
- That's so old school.
- OK, what face are you making? Duck?
- Yeah, duck.
- OK, ready?
- Don't you do this?
- So what are you doing later?
- Wanna go out?
- Yeah.
- Kate, can you narrate our picture?
Here, we're giving it to you.
- Uh, don't be a ballsack, drink in the middle of the day.
- Thank you so much for coming
to The Ladies' Room.
- Cheers. [Kelsey] This was the most fun
I've ever had. - [Nicole] I like you.
- It's like meeting a person I only ever saw on TV but
now you're here.
- Yeah.
- This is great. You're very cool.
- Bye.
(boisterous music)