I've said that relationships are negotiated.
They're always negotiated.
They're negotiated when you're three, four, five,
40 and 50, they just area always negotiated.
The Bishop T.D. Jakes is with us
and we've been talking about the fact
that Taylor is really operating
from pain, not anger.
And she's doing some of the very things
that are threatening to destroy her life
and she says in the same voice,
I really don't want to destroy my life,
I recognize that.
Now, Bishop, you said that
you get into these situations,
you're going to come out better
or you're going to come out bitter.
And in order for her to come out better,
Taylor's going to have to mature to the point
that instead of throwing a tantrum,
she's going to have to have an adult conversation
and negotiate with her mother
about what it is that she's hurting about inside
and choose some other behaviors
to get what she wants.
But that's possible to do, correct?
Oh, it's absolutely possible to do
if her mother becomes strong enough
not to succumb to the bait all the time
and to stand her ground.
And what's very, very important,
like grapes turning into wine,
you can turn into something better
than what you're grieving over.
I really think to some degree,
Taylor is grieving over the life she had,
the relationship she wished she had,
the person she really wanted to have in her life.
One, it's possible to love your father,
your biological father,
not love what he did
and still have room in your heart
to embrace somebody new in your life.
He doesn't replace your love,
you don't have to fight over that,
and you have to allow yourself to believe
that what's in front of you
is better than hat's behind you.
And that's something we all have to do.
All of us have a history,
but you don't want your history
to destroy your destiny.
Most of the time,
when I do rebel,
I still don't get what I want.
Right, and see, here's what I think, Taylor,
I think a lot of the things you want
are not unreasonable.
I think some of the things you're doing are unreasonable.
I think doing acid,
doing cocaine at 14,
these are things that will destroy your brain
and therefore your life,
but I think a lot of the things that you're wanting to do,
in terms of some freedoms
and different curfews
and some things along these lines,
I think you can negotiate for those things.
And as the Bishop says in his book Crushing,
Gina, if you and Taylor,
maybe kind of mediated in somewhat by Desi helping out,
if you two could learn and agree to negotiate,
then the drama could fall out
and as the Bishop is saying,
you could come out of this better
than you went into it.
I would definitely be willing to do that.
We would need help to do that
because we have tried that
and she doesn't follow through.
So we'll have okay, you can do this and this
but you have to do this and this
and the last two things don't happen.
I can tell she's trying, I can tell,
for the last week or so.
But you're talking about history now,
and again, I'm talking about hitting the reset button
and going forward.
Bishop, in your book Crushing,
God Turns Pressure into Power,
there's not a better example
than this very situation
for what you're talking about.
You're absolutely right.
There's a huge opportunity for this family
to turn this pressure into power
and to use this time of introspection,
unfortunately that's come about through COVID-19,
but it's given them an opportunity
to be introspective,
to find that place of healing or negotiation,
as you talk about,
and transform it into something better.
I can't help but think
about all the families,
thousands of families in America,
whose loved ones, mothers or daughters
are on respirators right now,
those who have lost parents,
and didn't even get to say goodbye to them.
They would love to have the opportunity
that you're wasting.
Let's remember how blessed we are to have each other,
to have somebody to love,
sometimes somebody to argue with,
sometimes somebody to negotiate with,
because there are a lot of families right now
who have just lost what you are failing to appreciate.