What is love addiction and could you be affected by it?.
That's what we're talking about today at QueenBeeing.com, what love addiction is and whether or not you might be affected by it.
So let's get started. (Closed captioning provided by Athena Moberg and
CPTSDfoundation.org). My name is Angie Atkinson and on this channel
I offer free, daily video coaching to help you discover, understand and overcome
narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. I like to call it toxic relationship rehab.
So if that sounds good to you, hit that subscribe button and let's get going. Why am I talking about love addiction?
Clearly I talk about narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse recovery andcodependency, among other things.
Well, here's the interesting thing,
it's just like Pia Melody said, "Not all codependents are love addicts, but all love addicts are codependent."
So love addiction has never really been referenced in the DSM, but it has been proposed as an official disorder.
Let's really quickly define love addiction, shall we?. Love addiction is a pathological
pattern of behavior that involves constantly needing to feel like you're in love with someone and despite what you might think
love addiction is not just something that happens between two romantic partners. Some love addicts
experience these feelings with their children, their
friends, their co-workers, even people on TV or people they've never met in real life.
A lot of love addicts say that if they aren't in a relationship
they feel this deep ache within themselves.
They say it feels like they desperately need to be in a relationship with someone or they find themselves
just living this state of despair and utter hopelessness, so they don't feel complete by themselves.
They feel like they're living as only one half of a couple, even if they're not in a relationship.
So as a result of being single they feel like I said personally
incomplete. Like they're not a whole person on their own or they're not a legitimate person without a partner in their lives
and since they're afraid of being alone and
rejected a lot of love addicts are on the prowl for the one, the one person who would make their life whole and complete.
The one person who would make them as an individual feel like a whole person.
I know that I kind of experienced some feeling like that growing up - never quite worked out for me though.
And what's ironic a love addict is that a lot of them have had
relationship after relationship after relationships,
so they have the opportunity on some level to have that deep intimate connection that they've always wanted, but rather than actually
nurturing that relationship and taking it all the way to the end, some love addicts find themselves jumping from relationship to relationship,
because they're always searching for that feeling of falling in love, that
initial excitement feeling once things get comfortable and
relaxing and they can start to be themselves in front of that person,
it's no longer exciting and then they want to leave, they want to run away and start all over again.
That's because they're more attracted to the intense feelings of falling in love, the initial feelings that we in our
community might identify as the feelings of being loved bombed. That time of infatuation.
A lot of love addicts will find themselves always looking for the one, never finding the one, because each time they think they found the one,
they get into a relationship
and things get comfortable and then they get bored and they have to leave.
In fact, some love addicts will based nearly all of the choices
they make in their life on this finding the one thing; the one person.
They're always in search of this perfect relationship that may or may not actually ever
happen and they're gonna be engaging in activities and behaviors that
are all toward that end. A really good example of this might be Ted Mosby from the show How I Met Your Mother,
for those of you who saw that show.
I mean the entire show was about how he met their mother and he was telling the story to these two kids in the show
and the entire story was his search for this perfect relationship,
FYI, if you haven't seen the series yet
I'm gonna give you a spoiler alert here, because I'm gonna talk about the end of the series. Okay, are you ready?
Okay,
at the end of the series, we learn that their mother actually was only around for a few years and passed away.
The point is that someone who is a love addict or who goes through love addiction is likely
to behave very much like a codependent, but the difference I think is the love addict who is not codependent
is more likely to get up and leave a person out of boredom. Where a
codependent is more likely to stay loyal, even to their own detriment, but in some ways these two things kind of go hand-in-hand -
Codependency and Love Addiction. "Not all codependents are love addicts, but all love addicts are codependent."
I think the biggest difference is the willingness to leave a relationship or not, because the fact is that
codependency is a sort of addiction to an unhealthy person and we develop addictions because
the addiction somehow prevents us from feeling pain in most cases. This could figure pretty deeply into a codependent falling into love addiction.
What are your thoughts on this?
Do you think it's possible for someone to be a codependent and a love addict at the same time?.
That's the question of the day.
The question of the day is; Can you be a codependent and a love addict at the same time and have you ever considered
yourself or someone else a love addict before? Share your thoughts, share your ideas,
Share your experiences in the comments section below and let's talk about it. My next video will cover the signs of love addiction,
so make sure to hit that subscribe button so you don't miss it.
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