If I had to be on a remote
island with, like, one person.
Like, it would be hard for me to choose
between, like,
you and and _________, who, like, obviously, like,
I love and adore. - ___________ is very useful though.
He is. - He's like, as useful as me,
I feel like. - He is.
But like,
you're al- you like
you're still like my favorite person.
I think.
Oh.
If for some reason I lost all my memory,
what's the first thing you’d tell me
about us?
Huh...
Right after I said I wasn't gonna cry.
So the thought of that
obviously scares me.
And I also.
I just said, like,
the reason why we're so close
is because we've gone through
so much of similar experiences together.
But
like I said at the very beginning,
you're my sister.
You're my big sister. I love you.
That's it.
And I wouldn't
I wouldn't
hit all like,
I really imagine
this is as realistic scenario.
I wouldn't tell- - Woke up from a comma and-
Like what's going on?
I would hid all the stuff
until we had a basis of friendship.
But it would be different, it would be different
because you
you wouldn't be coming into it
with your own
knowledge of what happened.
I think I would want to tell you.
I don't think
I would want to keep it from you.
That we’re siblings?
No, no, that
we went through all that together
because part of me,
when I first heard the question
was, oh, actually,
I don't know if I would tell her
she would have such a better life
if she didn't.
But important things are
obviously you're waking up from a coma.
Who is this person? I'm Alexa.
You're my sister.
You're my big sister.
We like to go to shows together.
We want to travel the world together.
We’ll get to
the other side.
Okay. - Alright.
Why do you love me?
What's not to love?
Obviously, part of it is the way that
we grew up together,
having gone
through so much of the similar things
growing up with our parents,
the way that they loved
us, the way that they weren’t able
to love us.
Going through
your eating disorder together,
obviously it's not the same
for each of us
because I didn't have it, but both of us
having to be so emotionally open.
I remember one time when we just
we were literally just
crying our eyes out
next to each other,
and you had snot all over
your shirt, and I had it on mine.
And we hugged each other.
Knowing that
I gave you that kind of care
and love and I did all that for you.
And knowing
that you would do
all of that
and more in a heartbeat for me
if I ever needed it.
Knowing how much you care
for other people,
how much you prioritize other people,
whenever you can possible,
whenever it doesn't
put your own health at risk.
Knowing how much of your life you've
dedicated to
helping strangers
you've never met
and we'll probably never meet ever again.
You're just so selfless
in all these ways
that so many other people are not.
That's really inspiring.
If this was to be our last conversation,
what's something
you never want me to forget?
Oh, shit.
It's so sad
because I already know the answer.
Cause I've already thought about that
shit before.
If this was our last conversation.
what I’d want you to never forget
is- is that you don't have to be perfect.
Really.
Don’t strive for greatness.
Really. Don't strive for greatness.
Strive for progress.
Because if you strive for greatness,
you don't always
you ain't always gonna feel like
you ain’t never good enough.
And you’re good enough for somebody,
period.
That's what I’d want to tell you.
Throw that in your pocket.
Yeah.
I've also thought about this
and all that said
that says, I do, I love you,
don't ever question that.
And you are a lot stronger than what
you give yourself credit for.
I do love you tho.
I never said that. Did I?
I did not say that.
I thought of all the, like,
inspirational stuff.
Well, I know that.
You only have to say it sometimes.
I just know it.
You know it?
You can feel it.
Yeah.
I didn't cry.
I’m gonna cry in the car.
Yeah, I know you are, I can see.
I can see it in your eyes
I’m gonna cry in the car.
While listening to Mary J.
Blige is what it is.
No other tears coming out of me.
You ain’t got no tears?
No.
When do you feel the closest to me
and why?
I feel the closest to you...
Probably
like when I'm going through my hard days
where I don't really want
to talk or
I'm really sad and I call you
and I'm like, I just
I feel like a potato and,
you know, I'm sad.
And then you just make me feel better.
I don't know what it is
that you say to me.
You probably are just like, It's okay.
And I'm like, She said, It's okay.
I'm good.
What do you think?
I think the same thing.
Like even when you moved to Philly,
like our facetimes,
like even just scrolling through my phone
and seeing
like my call history and stuff is just
has like
you and like facetime
calls and things like that.
So I think it's just the fact that even
when we're far apart,
like we're thinking of each other
and seeing your face like
makes me feel more grounded.
So I feel like that's
when I feel closest to you.
Okay,
um, when do you feel the closest to me,
and why?
When do I feel the closest to
you and why?
Yeah. - Um hmm.
Basically, when my life is
is going to total crap. Really.
What?
Yeah, that's when
I feel the closest to you,
because you're always there.
So, like,
for instance,
if I'm moving or,
you know,
I need to like,
your place is home now
since grandma is gone.
And so I usually always
feel the closeness with you
when we're -when we’ve lived together.
And also too, just like
when we have our conversations on
the phone, we'll get into,
you know, good conversations.
And I feel the closest to you
when you give great advice, too,
because you always give really good
little big sister.
So you always give great advice.
Yeah, that's when I feel
definitely the closest.
When do you feel the closest to me?
It's probably.
Well, you would agree
when we're forced to.
What does that even mean? - Like-
You know,
like different circumstances
and scenarios
when they bring you closer together.
Oh, like dying.
Yes. No, not dying, but not dying.
Kind of just harder life circumstances.
Or when life throws
you a curveball
ending on a step up to the plate
and you have nothing else
and you need someone to rely on.
Circumstances like that.
So kind of like the Hurricane
Irma situation. No, seriously.
But it's like when you're
when you're having a difficult time
and you need to turn to
someone for advice
or you need somebody to mentor
you through it
and provide knowledge and resources from
that have been in that situation.
Even though you haven't really been
in most of the situations
that I've been in,
I usually turn to you for the advice.
And so that is where
I feel the closest to you
when you're like, okay, you're an idiot. - You’re being stupid.
Yeah, this is what you need to do. - Oh, don’t bother me,
I'm working.
Well, yes. No.
Usually when you're like,
Don't bother me, I'm working.
And then you write me
back, call me back, or we talk
and then you're like, Okay,
this is what you did wrong.
This is how you got to fix it.
This is what you need to do better
next time.
That's knowledgeable advice that I take from you.
Mmmm, well, well, well...
Look at who’s mouth that's coming out of. - Hmm.
When did you feel closest to me?
I do remember my favorite
when I felt the closest to you.
Nah! Oh, fuck!
All right.
I know what you're going to say. - I’m not gonna go into the details.
I know what you're gonna say.
You can say it. You could say it.
So I'm dropping __________ off.
And you standing there, you were like 16?
Yeah, I was 16.
And smiling like-
And I’m like: What's wrong with you? Why are you smiling?
Did you lost your virginity?
And you just kept smiling.
And I was like: _______ , get out of the car. Get out.
Hans, get in. Details.
Yeah, that was so bizarre
because I had like- I had like a plan.
I was like, be cool and keep it cool.
Like, tell people eventually.
And like, the first person I see, like
I get back from upstate
was like: what happened?
I thought I was special.
I thought you’re waiting to tell me.
No, fuck, no.
But I just like guessed: why are you smiling like that?
And you just lost your virginity.
Yeah.
I felt close
when I had my appendicitis thing.
Oh, yeah.
I remember that.
You dressed me in women's jeans throughout the household.
I’m sorry. - Yeah.
Fucking attendings like-
You looked good. Did you look-
I don't know what I looked like.
I was in pain.
But that's cool.
It was like a function more than-
than style.
I’m so sorry.
No, that's okay.
But I felt close to you.
I was like, Oh, that's cool.
My sister was like,
No questions asked, she’s helping me.
I'm in pain...
blah blah, blah, sort me out.
I fucked up that whole
Dominican Republic trip...