You forgive me, but you're breaking up with me?
Camille, 96% of all first romances end in breakups.
You kissing James gives us the perfect opportunity
for us to get ours out of the way now.
- And you're not sad about that? - Yes.
But I'm going to mask my pain by buzz cutting my hair,
joining a gym and nicknaming myself The Island.
But can we be friends?
Friends it is.
Maybe we could hug too?
I mean, friends hug, right?
It is the friendly thing to do.
Uh, yep, friends it is.
Camille, we are over.
No amount of crying loudly or dramatically
is gonna change that.
[crying]
How could I have been such a fool?
Oh!
- Not that real, come on! - Sorry.
[crying]
Guess what? We're back together.
No, stop I can't!
We are over... again.
They told me this morning that I could get out of my contract
and do the movie in New Zealand.
But when I saw you in the lobby, I decided to stay.
Look.
You can either sit down and listen to me,
or you can go do your movie and breakup with me.
Lady's choice.
I'm gonna do the movie.
And break up with you.
What? No goodbye kiss?
The only regret that I have is that I didn't leave you years ago.
By that, I mean yesterday.
[gasping]
- Goodbye, James. - Goodbye, Selena.
They did it. They had an entire relationship in three days.
Yes, but at what cost?
Selena is more enraged than ever.
- Good luck on your album. - You too.
Are we forgetting anything else?
I know I'm not gonna forget you.
[honking]
We forgot to goodbye kiss.
I know.
Come on!
You're holding up the line!
Hey, business man, don't make me tase you.
Go ahead, kids. Finish up.
Heck of a way to breakup, huh?
Flight 123 to New Zealand now boarding, Flight 123.
I gotta go.
Hi, guys.
You can't date both of us at the same time.
Yes, I can.
Uh, no. We agree that's weird.
- We agree that's weird, right? - Yes!
Are you saying you're breaking up with me?
- Yes. - Well...
I hope we can still be friends.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. - I guess we can be friends.
- Great, friend zone it is. - Huh?
But here comes the awkward part.
Right, got it. I'm breaking up with you.
Exactly. Wait, what? It sounded like you're...
Breaking up with you?
No! No, no, no, no! You can't do that.
That's what you wanted her to do.
But I'm supposed to break up with her.
No one dumps James Diamond. I've never been dumped.
And now you have.
Ah! You're ruining my perfect never been dumped record!
Well, I've never been dumped either, and you're not ruining my perfect record.
No, no, no, no! No, no, no! You are not... you are...
Wait, don't go!
Jennifer, don't leave me!
[crying]
It's OK, buddy.
I know what you're going through.
What is it you two are going through?
The red-shirted girl!
It was the greatest 12 minutes of my life!
And now she's gone. She's gone, I tell you!
The pain, it's... it's so real.
[babbling]
OK, you sound confused.
Maybe this will clear things up.
[babbling]
OK, why aren't you getting rid of them and what are you saying?
He's saying he doesn't feel the same way about your kiss.
[babbling]
Oh, yeah? Well, what about this one?
[babbling]
Looks like one kissing spell was broken by one magic potion.
What are you talking about?
Oh, just a little strawberry lip balm,
mixed with some of my mom's Toothache Away.
[babbling]
He's saying he could really go for a corn dog.
Carlos, eat that corn dog and we're through.
[gasping]