-My name is Little Apple.
I'm a cop.
A good one.
At least I used to be.
That all changed.
Everything's changed.
Ever since the day...
[groans]
The day I lost...
my partner.
[bluesy theme music playing]
-(Grandpa Lemon) That's great, but, uh...
why are you telling me things I already know?
And why are these blinds down?
Looks like a friggin' music video.
-Aah! Come on, give me a break, Chief.
I've lost my partner!
-Your partner's not dead.
Marshmallow just landed a talk show.
You should be happy for him...
or her.
Oh. Guess we still haven't figured that out yet, huh?
-Don't even talk to me about "happy."
-Look, Little Apple, we'll get you a new partner--
a good partner.
Heck, I'll give you the pick of the litter, I promise.
-Yay!! Kittens!!
At least, that's what my old partner used to say.
-(Nude Dude) Du-u-ude. This is gonna be crazy fun.
Partners for life. Puttin' a ring on it, yo.
-First off, I'm not putting a ring on ANYTHING.
Second, we're detectives. That means plain clothes,
not NOT clothes. -Nah, bro.
Nude Dude totally doesn't do uniforms.
-Yeah? Well, lettin' it all hang out
is behavior unbecoming of an officer.
-That is classic Little Apple.
You've been uptight since we were kids.
You remember that time we went skinny dipping,
and you were-- -NEXT!
-(Angry Orange) I'm out there every day,
and I tell ya, it is a cesspool of crime,
and they need to know
that we are the biggest fish in the jungle. Am I right?
-Yeah. That's great. Look, could you maybe calm down?
-Calm? You think calm--
-Who brought donuts? -Whooo-whoo!
-[sighs in relief] Thank goodness.
-Donuts? Who's got time for donuts?
We've got a job to do,
and I didn't sign up to sit on my fanny and eat--
Ooh, is that a bear claw?
-I AM a bear claw.
-Oh, well, that's awesome, 'cause I...
FREAKIN' HATE BEAR CLAWS!
[heavy metal music playing, yelling fiercely]
-[singing scream]
-That's it! Next!
For the last time, I am not saluting you.
-But I'm a captain. You have to salute me.
-This isn't the Navy. Your rank means nothing.
-But a captain outranks a detective.
That's called a chain of command.
-Yes, if you were a POLICE captain.
-You're a loose cannon. Drop and give me 30.
-You're a talking onion! -I AM a talking onion!
-[grumbles fiercely]
[gunshots]
[sighs] Okay, I feel better now.
So who's next?
-Hey, hey, partner! May I have this dance? [laughs]
[imitating cocking a gun and firing it rhythmically]
-[grumbles] Next!
-(Melony Vavoom) I was top of my class at the academy, and
I'm the youngest melon ever to make detective.
Any other questions? -Just one.
You ever been convicted of a crime?
-No.
-'Cause I bet you've stolen a lot of hearts.
[laughing oafishly]
[pants, howling]
[laughs]
[electricity buzzes]
-Next.
-What do you mean, you didn't find a new partner?
What have you been doing all day?
-Well, I've tried, Chief. I really did.
I got shot at, Tasered,
even fell in love. [laughs oafishly]
-Oh, God. You're not gonna start barking again, are ya?
-[firmly]: The point is, I'm running solo, Chief,
or I'm not runnin' at all. -No, detective.
The point is, you are a bad apple,
but a darn good cop.
[funky theme music plays]
[record scratches] -Yo, Grandpa Chief,
we got a 2-11 in the market district.
Somebody's robbing the food bank.
[dramatic music playing] -Don't worry.
I'll get my best apple on it.
Think you can handle that?
-No, Chief.
But I think WE can.
[suspenseful orchestral music playing]
-Whoo! We're walking in...
sloooooooooooooooooo-mooooooooo.
[record scratches] -Aw, dude.
-[Orange laughs] Knife!