Hey there, this is Clay and today I wanna talk about the notion of that first date that
you have with your ex after no contact or active no contact.
And a lot of people, they have this notion that like that first date is where you like
really win your ex back.
That's when you really win them back and prove to them that you're new and different and
you're going to have this great chemistry and you're going to like fall in love and
by the end of the day you're going to be holding hands and kissing and making out in the back
seat of the car and going back to her place or your place or whatever.
And you know, that is something that can happen.
Is it something that will likely have in probably not.
Is it something that should happen?
And the answer to that is no.
If you're to follow our teachings and our method for, for saving your relationship and
getting back together, then that is not what should happen.
What should happen is that you don't approach this first date as like this intense thing
where it's like you have to, you know, like, make sure your, your, your peacock feathers
are all like splayed out and you're just like, you know, really sexy and doing your mating
dance and everything like that, that's not what you want.
Because you know, if you've been doing active, no contact, you've made some changes since
the last time your ex saw you.
Right, right.
And, you know, you're, you're a new and better person, hopefully.
And chances are good that they've probably made some changes to in their life.
I can't see if they've been changes for, the worst or the better, but that's what the purpose
of the first date is.
If you can even call it a date, like, I don't really usually like to call it a date.
It's just, that's kind of a way for me to communicate it to, to you so that you understand
it.
But really it's just like a meetup.
And, the, the purpose of it is to really just kind of check in and see where they're at.
You know, hey, it's been a month.
It's been two months since we've seen each other.
Let's catch up and see how things have been, you know, oh, hey, I got this new job.
I've got this promotion, I'm working out more.
I lost 10 pounds.
I started wanting the guitar.
I can play twinkle, twinkle little star.
You know, all these, all these things like that.
You want to be able to share those.
And they also check in with your ex and see where they're heading.
I mean, maybe they're not at a great place right now.
Maybe they fell into drugs.
Maybe they like banged 10,000 dudes or something like that.
And in which case you can be like, oh wow, that's really not what I want in my life.
Maybe we shouldn't really, you know, keep seeing each other.
Maybe it's good that we parted ways. and, and that's really what you want to do.
You just want to check in with them and see where they're at.
Maybe they've improved their lives, maybe they've, you know, lost a ton of weight.
Maybe they're fitter, maybe they have like this new style.
Maybe they avoid corn, French or something, I don't know.
But you just want to like check in with each other and see where you're at.
So, so my advice is to not approach the first date with like mired with all this expectation
and, and, anticipation and romantic expectations and stuff.
But to really just kind of walk in there with an open mind, say, hey, here's where I'm at.
Where are you at?
Oh, you're there.
Okay.
Well, it sounds like we still have a lot in common and it's, and you know, I'm enjoying
talking with you.
What's continued to see each other?
What are you doing next weekend?
Just something like that.
That's the kind of mindset you want to have when you're going in to, to really meet your
ex for that first date, if you want to call it that because really you don't know where
they're at and you want to check in with them.
You want to see where you're at.
You want to see if the two of you still have things in common.
If this, if the two of you still like each other, the two of you can still even get along
with each other and you don't want to go in there with all kinds of expectations about
how you have to prove yourself, how you have to make this work, how you have to be on your
best behavior and really seduced them or you know, get, get them to kiss you at the end
of the date or get them to like hug you or hold your hand or anything like that.
You just just walk in there as an open book.
Here's who I am, let's see where you're at and let's see what the two of us could potentially
do together or not do together.
So I hope that helps you out.
I hope that makes sense to you.
And if you'd like to learn more about how to get back together with the person that
you love, please head on over to relationshipinnergame.com and sign up.
Thank you.