Hi guys, it’s JR
We live in a society full of glittery dreams
Vivid images
exciting adventures
luxury lifestyles
All made possible and amplified by the invention
of social media
And Photoshop
Making socialites and TV series
such as ‘Inventing Anna’
People can be famous for being famous
or famous for being stupid
More than any time in the history of humankind
are we allowed to present ourselves to the world
through the lenses of our choice
or filters
You know what they say
“Fake it till you make it”
So is it wrong for us to try to live a better life
by purposely showing the better side of ourselves?
Hard to tell
But here, let’s look at this from another perspective
Can we fake ourselves into being more
confident
happier
more mentally fit
And as a result
more successful?
In this sense
can we fake it till we make it?
And the answer is
YES
And that comes with scientific proof
It’s already verified that
personal happiness leads to personal success
And the individual’s success
somewhat lies in the primordial part of the brain
which assesses and calculates where you stand in the outer world
Professor Jordan Peterson takes lobsters for example
Yes, lobsters
Apparently, lobsters have a nervous system that is easy to observe
And has helped scientists to understand
the correlation between the brain and behavior of more complex animals
such as humans
So lobsters, much like humans
they fight for dominance in their world
under the sea
Somehow I saw that coming
However
when a lobster loses a battle
it loses its will to fight further
While the victor lobster spreads its limbs
wheels around its claws
making it look bigger and more ferocious
The loser lobster cringes and scrunches up
And even more surprisingly
radically
its brain dissolves
and grows a new one
one that is more submissive
One that is more adequate to
deal with the situation and position that it’s now in
as a loser
Like literally, a LOSER
Whether the lobster presents itself as a winner or loser
highly depends on the ratio of two chemicals released in its brain
serotonin and octopamine
The loser’s brain increases the ratio of the latter to the former
And so it’s wired to stay in its own domain
as being a loser
And that’s to refrain from further clashes with other lobsters
that might get them injured or even killed
Sadly, the weaker lobster eventually will quit trying and
accept its new lowly status
And as shocking as this may sound
we humans are not exempt
Our brain sophisticatedly monitors how we’re treated by others
where we are positioned in society
And accordingly
it adjusts the way we walk, talk
and present ourselves to the world
And that external behavior
further strengthens the existing perception of ourselves
It’s a feedback loop that can go both ways
Either up or down
Winners gonna keep winning, winning, winning
Losers gonna keep losing, losing, losing
Now, the good news is
There’s always good news
or else this would all be way too dark
Excuse me!
The good news is
the mind is elastic
Like honestly
it’s something called ‘neuroplasticity’
In plain words
We can change
We can change how the brain works
through experience
We can change how the brain works
through lots and lots and lots of practice
And sometimes you can use this little trick for the quick fix
You see
the mind and body is a two-way street
We all know that
the mental state can influence our behavior and health
But it can also work the other way around
Our behavior can affect our mental state
To be more specific
it affects the chemicals released in your brain
Professor Paul Ekman has conducted decades of research
on the correlation between emotion and facial expression
In his book, he states that
if you make certain movements on your face
it’ll trigger changes in your physiology
both in your body and in your brain
Namely
if you purposely put on a sad face.
You drop your mouth open
You pull the corners of your lips down
You raise your cheeks
and your eyes squinting
At the same time
look downwards with your upper eyelids droop
And all of a sudden
you feel this sink in your chest
You feel emotional
You feel SAD
while looking pretty scary
It’s quite amazing how this works
And so, if you put on a smile
You know what that can do for you
Stand up straight
Pull your shoulders back
Push your chest out
Wear a smile on your face
And tell yourself
Things may be in a slump
but today’s gonna be a good day
because I’m a good person
Sounds cheeky
And it is
But that affects how you see yourself
and how others perceive you
And it feeds back into that
internal-external loop that we were talking about
Adding effect to effect
Bill Beswick is a renowned sports psychologist
who’s been working with numerous athletes and sports teams
He said
“Psychology is a battle of you versus you.”
“We think the opposition’s over there, in the other dressing room.”
“But actually, it’s in here—” “ ‘Who am I going to be today?’ ”
“ ‘Am I going to be my best self or my weaker self?’ ”
Bill has Parkinson’s disease
And he says that
getting up in the morning
getting dressed
isn’t easy for him.
And so every morning he has to make this decision
“Am I going to be a fighter today?”
“Or am I going to be a victim?”
Kylian Mbappe is one of the top notch strikers in the football world
However
if you compare him to the likes of Ronaldo or Messi
many football fans would agree that
he has some big shoes to fill
Before matches
Mbappe talks himself up to stoke his self-belief
He tells himself
“I am the best”
In regards of his ego and the comparison to Ronaldo and Messi
he once told reporters
“They are better players than me, ”
“they have done a billion more things than me.”
“But, in my head, ”
“I always tell myself I'm the best”
“because that way you don't give yourself limits”
“and you try to give your best.”
Rather than showing off to the world
expecting recognition
it’s about presenting yourself
to convince yourself
And bringing out the best of you
One last story for today
I love this little story of one of my favorite directors
Clint Eastwood
He was playing golf one day
and his partner asked him
“Clint, how old are you?”
“I’m 88, I’ll be 88 next Monday.”
“Wow, that’s great!”
“What are you doing lately?”
“Well I’m shooting a new movie.”
The movie was ‘The Mule’, by the way.
And his partner’s like
“How do you keep doing this?”
And Clint says
“I wake up every morning and go out”
“And I don’t let the old man in”
Don’t let your age
your social, financial status
a harsh setback
bad experience
define who you are
Don’t let any of that hold you down
In this sense I would say
“Fake it till you make it”
Stand up straight
chest out
chin up high
wear a smile
dress up nice
And tell yourself today
“Today”
“is not gonna be a good day”
“It’s gonna be a GREAT DAY”
I wish you the best
Peace