- So that title is actually not click bait.
I did actually in fact almost die a year ago on April 1st.
I got a blood clot in my shoulder.
I have something called thoracic outlet syndrome.
It comes in three kind of variations
where there isn't enough space
between your rib and the vein,
the nerve or the artery to kinda pass through.
So your arm will then pinch on either of those three things
and then it constricts the blood flow
causing, well, a lot of things.
If it's nerve, it could be pain.
If it's a vein or artery,
it's gonna be cutting off blood flow.
And in my situation, it was actually the vein
and it caused a blood clot.
I have a whole video about that,
but I feel like so many things this past year have changed.
I even feel like my channel has kind of suffered
because I kinda have gone through this weird something
I don't even know.
I can't even really explain it.
It's like my creativity, my motivation, just inspiration,
everything just kind of was all over the place.
But over the past year,
I feel like I've been doing more things,
I guess, for myself.
I have been going more places.
I've been traveling a bunch again,
and it's sort of like that combination
of the whole entire world being shut down for several years
and not being able to go anywhere.
And now that things are back opening up again,
I don't know, I don't even know how to explain it.
I'm sort of still,
I feel like kind of getting my old self back.
I've been finding new hobbies.
I started snowboarding.
I started going back to jujitsu again.
And the things that I used to do
like a lot of my sword training and lightsaber training,
I don't really do as much anymore
because the doctor did recommend
getting this first rib removed,
but there are also a lot of side effects to that.
So I decided to not get the surgery right away,
but it is something that I would be willing to do
down the line if something does come up
and I decide to do it again.
I've just been kind of being very careful
about the movements.
All of the sword stuff that I used to do,
it's just a ton of repetitive motions,
all kinds of things like that.
Like I don't do a lot of overhead presses
and I kinda try to keep down at this space level.
I do still stretch
and try to strength train a little bit in my back
so that my shoulders and stuff stay open
to try to help make more space over here.
But really the only way to make more space
is to get the rib cut out.
And they did say that
if I really wanted to keep the rib, I could.
So that's exciting.
I don't know, I just wanted to kinda give you guys
a little bit of a health update.
I feel like I'm doing well,
but it's one of those things that's really hard to test for.
And my side effects were mostly my entire arm
just being super swollen.
And thankfully, I kinda knew what it was
and what was happening
so I was able to kind of self-diagnose myself
at the hospital
and they were able to quickly get into action.
But yeah, if you ever do feel like something is not right
in your body and you know it in your heart, in your soul,
in your entire being, make sure you advocate for yourself.
Because sometimes a lot of doctors,
not that they don't want to take care of you,
they are also super busy.
Like just seeing the amount of people
and patience and things that they are going through,
it's not that they're intentionally ignoring you.
Sometimes they don't have the actual capacity
to be able to really fully give you that attention.
So you do have to be persistent
and you do have to keep going.
And if that person doesn't listen to you,
then you're gonna have to find another one.
And I know that can be difficult
because a lot of insurances aren't accepted places.
I am so grateful though,
because I did get such incredible care
when I was in the hospital.
Everyone was amazing.
And myself, I tried to be super patient
and tried to listen and learn,
but I didn't know what was going on.
And when you're in sort of this basically life
or death situation, it was such a crazy experience.
But now kind of looking back over this last year,
we made it through.
There definitely isn't a day that doesn't go by
that I don't think about it in some capacity.
But the crazy part about blood clots is,
it can come from a number of things,
and I think for a lot of women,
it can come from pregnancies,
it can come from birth control,
which is something that you potentially might read
on the package and be like, "That's not gonna affect me."
Well, you don't know.
It could.
Or it's anatomical like my situation,
where my rib is pressing on a vein.
Some people also have an extra first rib
so then that could also be a factor.
I'm just super grateful to be here
and I'm just so grateful that you guys were supportive
through all of that.
And I think you guys are all awesome.
So thank you so much.
But I just wanted say I'm doing well.
It's also been a year since I've been off caffeine,
and I think it's almost five years, maybe five, six,
I think five since I've been off alcohol.
But having an experience like that,
it really does kind of change your perspective.
But also it's strange
because it doesn't even feel like it happened.
It's something that I've kind of pushed outta the back
of my mind
and just I know those first couple of months afterwards,
I was not well mentally, physically,
everything that I used to be able to do,
I wasn't even able to do anymore.
So I had to find different things that I could do
to just sort of fill that void.
I'm very thankful
that jujitsu still is something that I can do.
And now finding snowboarding has been really fun.
And even just like making videos and stuff is so therapeutic
because I can create
and I can actually have something to show
and put out into the world.
So all of this stuff is sort of the ways
that I've been coping.
Well, thank you guys for watching
and always being so supportive.
You guys really did help me get through
a really tough time last year
and I'm so glad to still be here making videos
and getting to see all of you or I guess you seeing me,
but me seeing you in the comments.
You know what I mean.
Well, thank you again,
and I'll see you guys in the next one.
Bye.
(somber music)