Oh, we're going to the pub.
You never go to the pub.
We're in the pub now.
What's wrong with the coffee shop?
Well, that is precisely the point.
Sherry for me, please, a large one.
Ah.
Large Talisker, please.
And a sherry for Lady Bracken.
Mr. Fell.
Oh, hello.
Brown from Brown's world of carpets.
We met at the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association
annual meeting several years ago.
Of course.
You said back then that you'd be delighted to host one of our
monthly get-togethers.
I did?
Every time I would look into your shop, you'd be closed.
If I was a superstitious man, I'd have taken it personally.
Yes. So we all need to talk about the council's proposed rubbish
collection times and the Winter street lights campaign.
Oh, I'm afraid-
Sherry for you. Whisky for me.
Hello.
Ah, Mr. Fell's just been telling me how much he's looking forward
to hosting our monthly street association get together.
Oh, you astonish me.
Yeah. So, look, I'll send over all the details, but Thursday night
after closing.
See, this is why I don't go to the pub.
It was your idea.
There's something urgent I need to talk to you about.
Yes. Same here. Last night's miracle.
Right.
We can't talk about it in the cafe.
Because?
It's about the woman in the cafe. Her name is Nina.
Maggie in the record shop has a pash on her and doesn't know how to
conduct a courtship.
We've got a real problem.
And it's in your bookshop right now.
Same problem.
Our Gabriel miracle last night set off alarms in heaven.
Ahh -
They suspect something, and so I told them I made Nina and Maggie fall in love.
Why?
It was the first thing I could think of.
And they believed you?
They're sending someone to check.
Great.
Do little miracles, wiggle your fingers about, Nina falls for Maggie. Problem solved.
Miracles don't work like that.
So, what are you proposing?
We fix it.
Nina and Maggie fall in love.
Heavens suspicions are allayed.
You mean like a sudden rainstorm forces them together beneath a
canopy? They look into each other's eyes and realize they were
made for each other.
Sounds a bit unlikely.
No no no no. No, get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes.
Vavoom sorted.
I saw it in a Richard Curtis film.
If you're going to invoke fiction,
you might as well do it properly.
Properly?
You remember Jane Austen?
Yeah. Will never forget her in a hurry, aren't I?
Mmm.
Brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery.
Brandy smuggler, Master spy.
Oh, what a piece of work.
She wrote books.
Novels.
Jane Austen?
Yes.
Oh, a bit of a dark horse novel eh?-
Yes, they were very good.
Well, no, I'm just surprised, that's all.
You think you know someone.
She had balls.
Well-
Cotillion balls.
People would gather and do some formal dancing and then realize
they had misunderstood each other and were actually deeply in love.
Well, that sounds unlikely.
Works every time, apparently.
And there's something else.
I'll show you the record.
I think it may be a clue.
I'm lost. Am I doing a rainstorm?
Come on. I want to show you the clue.
Whatever you found out, don't call it a clue.
But it is a clue.
Well, at least don't pronounce the capital letter.
Gabriel was singing this morning, a song.
What?
Have you ever heard a song that goes,
"every day, it's getting closer".
No.
Well, that's what he was singing, a human song,
and there is an actual mystery associated with that song.
And that is the clue.
Not another word.
Jane Austen wrote books too- You people, I will never get the hang
of you lot.