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-(applause) -Good evening, Black people,
African Americans,
and the new and improved Brown M&M!
I'm coming to you from one of the Blackest locations
in America, on top of one of those houses
from the Super Bowl halftime show.
As I speak to you,
Snoop Dogg is 12 feet below me,
high as hell, no idea
that the Super Bowl ended two, three weeks ago.
But, tonight, Black people,
we are gathered to once again ask ourselves the question,
where we is?
The past year has been an interesting one
for our community. Mm-hmm.
Black people got a lot of what we've been fighting for,
just not in the way we had hoped.
New York City's got a Black mayor,
but he's a cop.
Black athletes made history,
but it was at the Winter Olympics.
I don't know how to do none of that shit.
Black people got out of prison,
but one of 'em was Bill Cosby.
It's the last time Black folks make a wish
with an evil genie coming out of a bottle of vodka.
Lesson learned.
Now, of course, 2020 was the year of Black progress,
which meant 2021 was the year
of white people freaking out about Black progress.
White people spent the last year furious at the idea
that their children might have to learn that racism exists,
and voting rights are disappearing around the country,
and they're not going to be easy to restore.
We may need to get whoever brought back LeBron's hair
to lead the fight.
But Black folks have also seen our fair share
of triumphs over the past year.
Obama's white friend turned Juneteenth
into a national holiday. That's right.
No more faking sick to celebrate Juneteenth.
You walk in that job and you look your white supervisor in
the face and you say, "Slavery!" and you hit the door.
From now on, faking sick is just for the days that I'm hungover.
So, for that, we say thank you, President Biden.
And also Vice President Harris... if we can find her.
She's kind of doing a Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar "lay low"
thing, where we only hear from her once or twice a year.
Respect, Queen.
2021 also saw Black folk make progress in
non-traditional Black spaces, like spelling bees.
Over the summer, Zaila Avant-garde became the first
African-American to ever win the Spelling Bee,
which I think is g-r-a-t-e.
Black people also took time to get our minds right this year,
because being Black can be taxing on your mental health.
You've constantly got to be thinking about racism,
or whether or not they're gonna reboot Martin.
That's why Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles made headlines
when they took a step back from their sports
to take care of their mental health.
Black athletes appreciated Osaka and Biles
setting an example for them, and the white athletes
who were competing against Osaka and Biles
appreciated the chance to win for a change.
But enough about the past.
Because we are here
to talk about the future.
And the future looks bright for Black America.
-(brief applause) -In the entertainment world,
we're gonna get a new Jordan Peele movie,
a Black Panther sequel, and a Beyoncé album is slated.
I can't think of a better way to pass the time
in a eight-hour voting line at midterms.
In politics, a Black woman is likely to become
a Supreme Court justice for the first time in history,
making her the most powerful Black judge in the nation,
right behind Judge Mathis and Lauren Lake.
And there's a whole new generation
of Black excellence on its way.
Meghan Markle had a baby.
Lil Nas X's Lil Nas X is due any day now.
And Rihanna is pregnant.
The only way this could be better is if Rihanna's baby
is born holding her new album.
So, Black people, when you ask the question,
"Where we is?," I say to you,
we're on our way to a year of success,
excellence and reaching our full potential as a people.
(applause)
-Unless-- hang on-- unless... -(applause stops)
unless there's a new COVID variant.
In that case, stay your ass inside
and watch the new season of Atlanta.
God bless you, God bless Black people
and God bless Nicki Minaj's cousin's swollen balls.
-I say good evening! -(applause)
Play me out, Dre.
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