Outer space.
It's the reason people who aren't perverts have telescopes.
For years, scientists have been asking if there is life on Mars,
but it turns out they may have been looking in the wrong place.
Astronomers have uncovered
possible new signs of life on Venus.
NEWSWOMAN: Its surface is hot enough to melt lead
and it's cloaked in clouds of toxic gas,
but scientists now believe something could be alive
on Venus or, actually, just above it.
Professor Sara Seager,
along with a team of international scientists,
spotted a molecule called phosphine
in the planet's atmosphere using giant telescopes.
Finding phosphine, it really leaves us
with two equally crazy ideas.
One is that there is some unknown chemistry,
and the other one is that there's some possibility
there might be some kind of life producing phosphine on Venus.
Wow.
Human beings are amazing.
Just five months ago,
we finally discovered how to properly wash our hands,
and-- look at us-- now we're discovering
extraterrestrial life.
And I think it's super exciting that there's life on Venus,
'cause I've heard that's where all the ladies are from.
Ooh, I can't wait to go to Venus.
A planet full of only women?
Oh-ho!
I'm just gonna roll up there
and be like, "Yo, ladies!
"Can you give us some advice on building an egalitarian society
based on mutuality, free from patriarchy?"
You know the one thing that often gets me?
Is that we spend a lot of time
trying to discover life on other planets.
I feel like we don't spend any time
figuring out what we're gonna do
when we find life on other planets.
'Cause, I mean, given Earth's track record
of explorers finding life on other planets they travel to,
my advice to Venus is
"Run, girl!"
And of all the times to discover alien life,
this is the worst time.
Because what if the aliens come down to meet us
and we give them coronavirus?
They're gonna be so mad.
We're gonna have to explain that it's not an act of war.
But then they'll be like, "Yeah, but you guys knew you had it.
Why didn't you wear a mask?" And then we'll be like,
"Uh, it's kind of a weird thing that we have right now
because of some stuff we read on Facebook."
And they'll be like, "Wait, Facebook?
"So Zuckerberg is here?
We wondered where he ended up."
And we'll be like, "Wait, Zuckerberg's an alien?"
They'll be like, "What, you thought he was a human?"
"Wah!"
Even though discovering alien life is cool,
please remember that our definition of alien life
is very different from scientists' definition
of alien life.
Because, in movies,
it's always amazing creatures or futuristic aliens.
I mean, if anything,
they've just set us up for disappointment.
You know? 'Cause, I mean, they said, on Venus,
they basically discovered, what, like, a bacteria?
So what they need to start doing is making movies
that set up more realistic expectations.
♪ ♪
The aliens are coming, everybody!
Isn't it beautiful?
They're gonna give us peace on Earth.
Or maybe a new soda flavor.
That'd be nice, right?
♪ ♪
(gasps)
Something's coming out.
♪ ♪
That's it?
I left my kids in the bath for this.
(scoffs)
Now, we better pray that aliens are really nice
and welcoming to humans,
because, at the rate climate change is going,
we're gonna need a place to crash.
Hurricane Sally is expected to make landfall
as a category 1 tomorrow,
producing heavy rain
and a potentially life-threatening storm surge.
States of emergency have already been declared
in Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana.
NEWSMAN: The slow-moving storm is packing winds
around 100 miles per hour.
It's expected to drop nearly two feet of rain.
NEWSWOMAN: For only the second time in recorded history,
five tropical cyclones are churning in the Atlantic
at the same time.
We're running out of letters to name them,
so soon we'll be using the Greek alphabet for storm names.
Welcome to 2020, people,
where we've had so many hurricanes
that now we're gonna start using the Greek alphabet.
And I guess after that, they're gonna go to colors.
And after that, they're gonna have to get ideas
from Elon Musk.
"Aah!
It's Hurricane X-aeon-7...
How-how do you-- how do pronounce the upside-down 'G'?"
And, guys, you know what's crazy to me
is that, even though we're seeing the effects
of climate change almost every day,
there are still tons of people in this country who are like,
"I don't know if it's real.
And even if it is, I'm not really afraid of it."
But what's funny is those are the same people who are like,
"A Muslim family moved into my neighborhood?
What is their secret plan?!"
So maybe we just need to use that irrational fear
to get people to take climate change seriously.
Yeah. Instead of naming them "Hurricane Sally"
or "Hurricane Diane," they should call it
"Hurricane Abdul-Bashir Jala-ludeen Bakhari."
In 12 hours, America will be all vegan
and everyone in NASCAR will drive a Prius.
"We got to save this goddamn planet, y'all!"
Speaking of which,
there's another crisis engulfing the country
that's even more directly tied to climate change,
the West Coast wildfires.
With less than 50 days until the election,
President Trump and Joe Biden
are clashing over climate change.
While meeting with California's governor,
the president downplayed the role of climate change
in the wildfires ravaging the region.
His Democratic rival blasted that attitude.
Donald Trump's...
climate denial
may not have caused these fires
and record floods and record hurricanes.
If you give a climate arsonist
four more years in the White House,
why would anyone be surprised
if we have more of America ablaze?
We want to work with you to really recognize
the changing climate and what it means to our forests
and actually work together with that science.
That science is gonna be key.
'Cause if we-- if we ignore that science
and sort of put our head in the sand
and think it's all about vegetation management,
we're not going to succeed together
-in protecting Californians. -'Kay.
It'll start getting cooler.
-I wish... -You just-- you just watch.
Mr. President, you're right.
It will start getting cooler.
That's called winter.
Gold star.
So I guess Trump's approach to climate change
is the same as his approach to coronavirus.
Just deny its existence
and then hope it'll magically disappear.
Which probably means, six months from now,
Bob Woodward is gonna release a tape
where Trump is gonna be doing a detailed PowerPoint
on carbon emissions' impact on global temperatures.
"And this is why the solar flares
"that we're experiencing at a stratospheric level
"are so-- Hold on. Fox News.
Aye aye, yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. Yi-yi."
But it's no wonder that Trump doesn't believe
in science, people.
The dude's been defying science his whole life.
I mean, when science told him he couldn't subsist on a diet
of fast food, meatloaf, and steak for 74 years,
Trump was like, "Challenge accepted."
Now, if you think that the president was at all embarrassed
by that exchange, well, you clearly don't know Trump.
Because rather than hiding in shame,
he spent nearly an hour this morning
chatting with his best friends on Fox News.
And he obviously thought the interview went great,
but something tells me that even they are wondering
if they can keep this up for another four years.
Mr. President, I think you broke a lot of news this morning.
Thank you very much for starting your day with Fox & Friends.
-Thank you. -TRUMP: Okay. It's been great. Thank you very much.
And we'll do it every week? We're gonna do it every week?
I look forward to it. Yeah, we're gonna do it every week.
Every Monday, I think they said.
And, uh, if we can't do it on a Monday,
we'll do it on a Tuesday, like we did today.
-S-Sounds good. -Okay. -All right. Uh, Mr. President,
thank you very much. Uh, you may want to do it every week,
but, uh, Fox is not committed to that.
We're gonna take it on a case-by-case basis.
And, uh, Joe Biden as well
is always welcome to join us for 47 minutes,
like we just did with the president.
All right, uh, Donald Trump, president of the United States.
Wow.
Steve Doocy just told the president of the United States,
"Don't call us. We'll call you."
Imagine that. He's the most powerful man in the world,
and they're treating him like he's a Jehovah's witness
who's also selling time-shares.
And the fact that Doocy even knew that it was 47 minutes
just shows you how annoyed he was.
Not 45 minutes. Not an hour.
47 minutes exactly.
That's someone who spent most of a conversation
staring at their watch.
And, by the way,
if Melania ever wanted to have an affair,
Trump's Fox News interviews would be the perfect time
for her to do it.
"Okay, Eduardo,
"my husband just call into Fox now.
"So we have anywhere between 45 minute
and three hour to make cold, indifferent love."
But still, man, I want to give props to Steve Doocy
for inviting Joe Biden on the show to make it seem
like Fox & Friends is a balanced news show.
That was pretty cool.
Yeah, at the end, he was just like,
"Just to be clear, we will also talk with Joe Biden.
"It's only fair.
"All right, coming up next,
"are Democrats gonna burn your house down while you're asleep?
We'll discuss, but the answer is 'yes.'"