The cesspool of Twitter has been particularly abuzz the last couple of weeks.
Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn
has been fired after tweets
Disney studio called indefensible resurfaced from his shocking past.
It was really shocking when these tweets were
unveiled a couple of days ago.
Unveiled?
They were never veiled in the first place.
James Gunn tweeted some pedophile jokes ten years ago, and guess what?
They weren't good.
Turns out that James Gunn is a shitty comedian.
In the same way that I'm a subpar film director.
Anyone who saw the movie of the birth of my son can attest to that.
I was at the wrong end.
But what James Gunn said were jokes
That's not how pedophiles do things.
Normally they're a bit more discreet.
You know whose Twitter feed isn't filled with pedophile jokes?
Jerry Sandusky.
But that hasn't stopped Twitter trolls from going after the rest of liberal Hollywood.
You've got Gunn, Patton Oswalt
and Sarah Silverman, Michael Ian Black, the comedian
I came across tweets of his joking about pedophilia.
It's amazing how angry people are about old tweets.
Nobody considers that time has passed since then.
People change.
Like I wrote a pedophile tweet ten years ago, as well.
Last week, my girlfriend saw it for the first time.
She was really angry.
Even though I told her,
"Honey that tweet was written before you were born."
But there are bullies on both sides.
It used to be that liberals encouraged
personal growth and believed in moving beyond bigotry and hate.
But now, even if you've changed,
you have to pay for the sins of your past.
Milwaukke Brewers' pitcher, Josh Hader ordered to undergo sensitivity training by MLB
after the racist and homophobic tweets resurfaced during his all-star game.
Atlanta Braves' pitcher, Sean Newcomb
also apologizing for insensitive tweets dug up from his past.
Homophobic and racially insensitive tweets
that shortstop Trea Turner made in 2011 and in 2012 surfaced.
Yes, the tweets were horrible.
These guys were teenagers when they made those.
You've never made a mistake as a teen?
On the bright side,
scouting baseball talent just got a whole lot easier.
Just check out a high school prospect's Twitter feed.
"We've found the next Derek Jeter."
"There's a kid in Nashville who's got some Hall of Fame"
"opinions on Mexicans and gays."
In a lot of cases, we don't really want apologies.
We just like being able to destroy careers and lives.
It makes us feel good. Biologically.
One hallmark of moral outrage
is expressing it feels so good.
You see activation in
the striatum, which is a brain area that we know to be involved in
>> signaling rewards, receiving input from the dopamine system.
Personally, when I need a dopamine boost
I pet a puppy or have a wank.
Or wank off a puppy.
But apparently when other people want a dopamine boost,
they go online and tell strangers to kill themselves.
Look, I get it, liberals like seeing right-wingers being taken down.
Right-wingers like seeing liberals being taken down.
It's like a game. I'll see your Roseanne,
and raise you a James Gunn.
But those examples aren't the same thing.
Tweeting a pedophile joke ten years ago doesn't make you a pedophile.
Tweeting a racist joke after a lifetime of making racist comments is actually racist.
The Guardians of the Galaxy cast wrote an open letter in support
of James Gunn. You didn't hear too many people
from Roseanne's staff defending her.
But if you ask me,
Every kiddy-f*cking cracker should've known better.
So where does it stop?
We've all done and said something we later regret.
If our entire past is fair game,
there isn't a single one of us that could claim we have nothing to hide.
But tearing down people is just too much fun.
The world needs a scapegoat.
And since casting blame is an age-old practice,
maybe we turn to an ancient solution for help.
Scapegoating is another thing involving shame,
It's sort of, it's mass-bullying.
The term comes from the Azazel goat,
the sins of the community are placed
on the goat, and then the goat is sent out into the desert.
And either killed or pushed over a cliff.
I don't think anyone has done this in a couple of thousand years.
UNTIL NOW!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Please welcome to the show our scapegoat,
We call him Scapey.
We're going to f*cking kill this thing.
Instead of attacking each other online,
now we can blame everything on Scapey.
We've loaded him up with
pedophile jokes, a few racist posts,
fake news, anything horrible ever said on the internet.
It's all Scapey's fault now.
We can get mad at him instead of each other.
And that's why we're setting him loose
on Santa Monica boulevard to get hit by a bus.
Thanks Scapey!
You pedophile piece of sh*t!
Thanks for dying for our Twitter sins!