- I genuinely hope this video makes you smile,
so just forget about everything else
that happened in your day
and let's laugh together.
Whaddup everyone, it's your girl, Superwoman.
And I love people.
Like, I really do.
I love people.
You become friends with them, lovers with them,
some of them even deliver you pizza.
So as someone who loves people so much,
you might be a little bit shocked when I say
that group texts with people are Hell on Earth.
Let's start off with the fact that these days,
people start group conversations for no damn reason, okay?
I get added to this group
called Arranging Rides for Tonight,
because we're going to the movies.
And I'm like, "Why am I here?"
Hi, I own a car, okay?
I own a vehicle.
I know exactly how I'm getting to the movies.
I'm sitting up in this convo like Chris Brown
while Drake was making that speech to Rihanna last night,
just like, "Make it stop."
But then you're like, alright, it's no big deal.
This group is just to arrange rides for this one outing.
It's going to be over soon,
we're gonna go to the movie and it's gonna be done.
But then someone in the group changes the group icon,
and you're just like, "Bruh, hold up."
I didn't sign up for this type of commitment.
I thought we were just arranging rides, okay,
but now we have a logo and ish?
And then someone else changes the chat title
to Catching Rides Not Feelings.
And I'm like, "Whoa."
This is how cults start, okay?
Yeah, today it's all about arranging rides,
and then next week it's all like,
"Hey, drink this and believe."
So I am part of so many group texts
and WhatsApp groups, it's ridiculous.
I'll wake up in the morning,
I have like, 407 new messages.
I unplug my phone, brush my teeth,
and my battery's on 43%.
And I didn't even catch a single Pokemon yet.
And then my phone stays vibrating throughout the day,
just constantly.
(throat vibrations)
And I know what you're gonna say.
"Lilly, why don't you just mute the conversation?"
No, because I don't wanna miss anything, okay?
I want everything, I'm a brat.
So then I just leave it on vibrate
and it's so annoying throughout the day.
And you know what the worst part is?
There's so many people out here in public
so I can't even use that vibration to my advantage.
Just kidding.
Bad, bad. Shame, shame.
No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
That's so gross, I would never do that, okay?
Unless it was for medicinal purposes.
What would your illness be?
Loneliness.
Hi, Mom.
You know, sometimes I'll be in a group chat
and I wanna invite people to like, an event
or tell them something personal.
You know, like, about my period or something.
I mean, I ain't got nothing else going on.
But I only wanna tell like, four out of five
of the people in the group, because Nick?
Nick, you know, we're not that close.
Yeah, we send a meme here and there,
but I don't know Nick like that.
And Nick, I know what you're gonna say, okay?
Space was just a word made up by someone
who's afraid to get close.
And you're right, that person was me.
So you know what I'm gonna have to do?
I'm gonna have to start a side conversation
with four out of the five of the people
and be like, "Hey, I know this is really awkward,
"but I wanted to tell you this thing
"and I don't want to say it in this conversation."
Group texts got me turning into a rapper, okay?
Because now I've got a main squeeze and a side ting.
And then in the side ting,
we've gotta orchestrate this whole dialogue
of what to say in the main group chat,
because inevitably Nick will find out
we chilled without him.
So now it's like a scripted play.
You know, honestly?
Someone should start a YouTube channel about group texts
because they're so dramatic,
and then they can exploit people's pain.
You know what I mean?
You would get so many views off promoting drama,
and make so much money.
That's so genius.
Wait, what?
People are already doing that?
Oh, my bad.
Another thing, you know?
I feel in group texts, people now believe it's acceptable
to start sending random crap to each other.
Like hey, we're in a group chat together,
so now it's kind of like we're a community
and we have this bond with each other.
And now people think that I care about their day
way more than I actually do.
They're like, sending me pictures of what they're wearing
and their food and I'm like,
when we were in a single chat together I didn't care.
And now that we're in a group chat, I still don't care.
Where's my binoculars?
I'm just trying to...
I'm just trying to look for who gave you the right.
And you know what the worst part is?
This behavior now prompts everyone else in the group
to send pictures of their food.
And I'm just like, "Rachael Ray, is that you?"
Now my phone be looking like the damn Food Network,
and I know exactly what's gonna happen.
The next time I'm looking hella cute
and I'm trying to take a selfie,
my phone's gonna be all like, "Out of storage."
And I'm gonna have to go through my camera roll
and delete your buffet.
Don't treat this conversation like Snapchat, okay?
We need some standards.
Do you know what the world record for oldest person is?
122 years.
That's like, half the lifespan of a group text.
Straight up, some of my group texts, they don't die, okay?
They live on forever.
They should play extras in The Walking Dead, just like
(throat gurgles)
(laughs)
My group chat for my tour
still gets 100 message a day, minimum.
That was from last year.
I have a group chat in my phone titled Y2K Preparation.
And it's fine, it's fine.
You know why?
Because let's be real, okay?
In the history of the entire universe,
the most disrespectful thing you can do
is leave a group chat.
Because everybody gets that notification, okay?
Just like, "Jill has left the conversation."
And you know what?
Maybe no one will say anything in the conversation,
but you already know that everyone's at home
on their phone holding their wig,
just like, "Mm, it's like that, Jill."
And Jill, you might think everything's fine
and it was no big deal,
but the next time you see these people at a party
and you're like, "Hey, how are you?"
They're gonna be like, "How am I?
"Oh right, you wouldn't know, would you, Jill?
"Yeah, have fun fetching that pail of water yourself."
You are chained to the group text, okay?
One does not simply leave the group text.
I know it's tempting.
You think I don't know it's tempting,
especially once some idiot tries to resurrect an old group?
I wake up tomorrow, look at my phone,
there's a new message from Catching Rides Not Feelings
just like, "Hey, how is everyone?"
No, no, do not do this!
Do not start this conversation.
This conversation needs to remain done.
Unless this conversation is Jon Snow, let it die.
"Just checking up on everybody."
Why? Why, no.
I'm fine, everyone is fine, okay?
I still have my own car, still have my own ride.
What the F is this, the Uber app?
You know, some of my group chats
be getting hella awkward, as well.
You know, because sometimes you forget
that there's like, other people in the chat.
I have a group chat
with some of my closest YouTube friends, right?
And from time-to-time, Yousef will say
something flirtatious to me,
and I'm like, "Aw, how cute."
But then I'll remember there's like, an audience
of four other people.
Suzie and Dietrichs are just at home like.
And then Lauren and Alex are there,
although I'm pretty sure they don't care.
Yeah, they're probably busy like, making out or something.
But then in a few minutes,
Lauren will message me separately to discuss the haps
because there's too much testosterone in that group,
and then we'll girl talk, girl love it out.
Or when you're in a group chat
and someone says something really snarky
and rude to someone else,
and everyone else in the group conversation
is just straight-up like Beyonce in that elevator.
Just like...
"What you talking about?
"No, I ain't even got a phone.
"I'm not even here."
Like bro, there's a time and a place, okay?
Group conversations is not it.
That's what subtweets are for.
You know what screws me over the most?
Sometimes I'll be annoyed at one of my friends,
so I'll ignore their messages.
But then I'll respond in a group conversation,
not realizing that they're in that conversation.
So now they know that I ignored them,
and I'm like, ugh, let me live.
But you know, sometimes my friend be getting real brave.
Okay, so in that group conversation they'd be like,
"Oh, so you can respond here and not to me?"
And then everyone else in the group conversation's like,
"What you talking about?
"I don't even need a ride, you know what I'm saying?
"I can just Uber it, it's all good.
"Catching Rides Not Feelings, remember?"
And you know, some of my friends
are in several of my groups.
So one friend will be in the friends group,
the tour group, the girls group.
And that way when I have an amazing story to share,
they're gonna hear that ish three times.
Because let's be real,
when you have something brilliant to say via text,
you copy and paste that ish and sent out mass texts.
When I collaborated with Dwayne Johnson,
I took that picture, okay?
I hired ten digital ravens.
"Send the word, mothereffers, okay?
"I want the seven kingdoms to know what's up."
My friend that's in all three of the groups, okay?
Her camera roll just straight-up have Rock,
looking like National Geographic.
And I'm like, damn straight.
That's for all the food pictures, okay?
Yeah, you got kale?
I got The Rock, what's up?
Hi, I hope you enjoyed that video.
It is so wonderful to be back.
I feel like it's been forever since this has happened.
Thank you so much for your patience
as I was in Kenya.
I had an amazing, life-changing time,
but I'm happy to be back.
By the way, it is hot.
I got like, sweat in all the places that are very exciting.
But if you liked this video, give it a big thumbs up.
You can check out my last video right over there.
It is a Girl Love episode that just came out
with Bebe Rexha, which is very, very cool.
So check that out.
My second vlog channel is right over there,
because I resumed my vlogs.
Other than that, if you haven't already done so
you can pre-order my book called How to Be a Bawse.
The link for that is in the description.
If you're on a phone, then you can also click the i,
I think, in the corner right there.
So go ahead and do that.
Otherwise, you can subscribe
because I make you videos every Monday and Thursday.
And I'd love for you to be here.
But even if you don't want to, that's okay because...
You're a human and you can make your own decisions.
But if you decide to be here,
that would be really, really great.
Until next time, one love Superwoman.
That is a wrap, and zoom.
Oh, look at that.
This hair tie done ruined the whole ting.
Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh.
Hold on, hold on.
You could just edit this part out, Louie, but you won't.
Girl love.
You know, you fail at every-ting.