Caroline Flack took her own life and social media is filled with loving
tributes and words of grief and sorrow profile pictures will be changed to her
image yet after all the posts of compassion the sad thing is that so many
people will go back to their normal day and just continue with their lives the
way they were before they heard the tragic news
in other words another person takes their life due to the unbearable media
pressure and - nothing will change today I listened to Laura Whitmore on BBC
Radio 5 paying tribute to her dearest friend and I cannot imagine how she
found the strength to share her heartfelt thoughts but her words hit
deeper than any social media post that I have read as it not only came from a
truly broken heart of someone who genuinely feels the pain it was also the
strongest message begging for us all to be kind I'm Sue Blackhurst and in this
video I want to look at what we can all do to make a difference to help others
who feel so lost that they believe their lives have no worth so today let's talk
about how to be kind
anyone can do a kind ease here and there donated to charity or helping a friend
out with child care but what does it really take to become a kind person
well kindness is not about posting words and phrases on social media it's not
about what you say it's about what you do and it takes practice to be sincere
because nobody's perfect we all get it wrong and for everyone that agrees with
us someone will disagree and for everyone
that loves us someone will dislike us but having
different views on people and events is human nature and something that will
never change and to be honest I think we are all entitled to our own views but
the danger for me is not what we think is how we express and share our thoughts
without thought, because for every proud parent who excitedly post their child
straight A* exam results online there is another child who worked even
harder to barely scrape a pass against all odds but they hide their report in
fear of ridicule for every one of us who has shared the 5-star luxury holiday
online there's a family out there reading your post who are struggling to
decide whether the money in their hand pays the heating or food now
I'm not saying that it's wrong to share the pregnancy scan to all the women
struggling to conceive but what I am saying is that anyone who has shared any
post on social media will have at some time posted something of pride and self
fulfillment and at the same time upset at least one of the person without ever
intending to cause any hurt but social media was created to enable us to share
our lives it was never about asking questions
it was always aimed at gaining self recognition the number of friends or
followers or likes we had has always been a measure of our value driving this
constant need to be praised so it's only natural that we all became quite self
obsessed with our own lives that we ended up missing the opportunity
to see any messages from other people social media however can be a
great platform and postings tributes about this tragic end Caroline Flacks
life is such an automatic response we tend to do after any tragedy to show our
solidarity but what the majority of us don't do is change that the way that we
behave and live our lives and learn from the words that we write so if we post
quotes of kindness and love to make these words really matter we need to ask
ourselves what we can actually do to be kind and make a difference to another
person's life rather than paying lip service and moving on many posts on
social media have this hidden message because phrases and quotes are always
chosen with great care and the meaning behind them brought and tell you that
the person posting them is actually just asking for help so when someone posts a
message that the life is tough we tend to see these comments all coming in
thick and fast with a series of "hope you're okay" "thinking of you"
big heart emojis ❤️ and "big hugs" but all these do is make the responder feel
better because in their eyes they have shown some support but if you read the
post even closer somewhere deep down there is a subtle signal that someone is
crying out for help and they are just waiting for someone to take the bait and
to save them Caroline Flack posted this message on Instagram on the 24th of
December 53 days before she took her own life been advised not to go on social
media but I wanted to say happy Christmas to everyone who has been so
incredibly kind to me this year this kind of scrutiny and speculation is a
lot to take on the one person to take on their own I'm a human being at the end
of the day and I'm not going to be silenced when I was try to tell and a
life to keep going with I'm taking some time out to get feeling better and
learned some lessons from situations I've got myself into
I have nothing but love to give and best wishes for everyone now that's such a
lovely heartfelt post but there are lines in there that shout out help to me
here is the same post again no words added but some removed I wanted to say
to everyone who has been so incredibly kind to me this year this kind of
scrutiny and speculation is a lot to take on for one person on their own I'm
a human being at the end of the day and a life to keep going with I'm taking
some time out to get feeling better I have nothing but love to give I would
suspect that every funeral of someone who has taken their own life is filled
with sadness and regret that they just didn't see the signs
and were therefore not given the opportunity to intervene every friend
and family member would have been there in a shot at the person side if there
had been a call at any time day or night but people only cry out for help when
they actually want a solution I didn't know Caroline Flack or any of her
friends or family and I know nothing more than what we all seen the press
about her life so I cannot make any comment at all on how they are all
coping with the circumstances surrounding her death but what I do know
is that it's made me stop and think about my own actions and the times that
I could have been kinder so for me the best tribute to her life will be to do
something good in her name if we all just took time to look closer at the
people around us looking deeper than we ever have looked at them before no
matter where we currently are on the scale maybe we could all become a little
kinder and show those close to us that they are important in our lives before
it's too late for me the biggest regret must be this output of grief for the
person who will never know just how much they were loved and how big an
unfillable hole they have left in the lives of everyone that they knew
two days ago Caroline Flacks name was associated with negative press and today
the same social media and press are awash with love and support for this
beautiful and talented lady so would like to ask the question if these sent
headlines have been printed two days ago do you think she would still be here
today how sad is it that she will never know so posting messages of love and
support someone should be done when they are alive and they can say it not when
they have left us reading the press it saddens me to see the school kids who
have made nasty comments in the corridor and they pushed that one child
just a bit too far and these same children then cry in sympathy at the
floral tributes by the school gates because they have no idea how their
actions were affecting their victim so this isn't just about being unkind
it's about being unaware and now I want to heed the words of Laurel Whitmore and I
want to be kind to people I know and people I don't know I haven't posted a
tribute to Caroline Flack on my social media pages as for me it's too late I
should have posted a message of support when she was alive and when she needed
it instead I believe that we can all do something for the people who need us now
so try reaching out to someone that you know who was having a bad time don't
send a heart emoji message to them directly and ask their specific
questions on how they are doing and even better pick up the phone and call them
if you're going to post on social media stop and think about the people that you
know directly because if one of your friends has recently lost a parent just
wait a while before you post the family photograph of you all enjoying Sunday
dinner with the words love having all the
family together think of someone who is just doing a really great job could be
with their work or their family or even their own health and without replying to
one of their updates send them a message and tell them directly what a great job
they're doing try to meet up and talk to someone
face-to-face take time to listen it's not your day it's their day ask them
questions and keep the focus on them as the best thing you can give them it's
your time and remember if we are to be truly kind then maybe all we can do is
something for them now because tomorrow may never come
please don't forget to share this video and subscribe to my channel let me have
your thoughts in the comments box below thank you so much again for watching
I'll see you next time