here you go let's get this guy out here now here's a guy a talented likable funny smart
personable you know him you love him our first guest a talented actor a very funny man he's
in a new Broadway play entitled well you read it for yourself it can be seen at the Gerald
schoenfeld theater ladies and gentlemen Chris uh Rock how you doing I'm all right
good to see you fall safe for ladies and gentlemen Chris Rock
it's in Cleveland okay yeah
the Cleveland Dave conduct my boycott from here
you look great and congrats oh boy baseball you like baseball it is opening day baby [Music]
and first of all it's amazing you like open today because it's supposed to be warm
it's freezing outside Dave that's right it's freezing
yeah so cold that the prostitutes are giving snow jobs okay
it's so cold at Yankee Stadium the beer is actually cold yes yeah so I'm a Met fan Dave
I appreciate the se you know they got all the money it's like rooting for for Steve Jobs to
hit the lotto or something I can't go there yeah I understand I appreciate I like Sebastian's kids
they live around the corner they play with me but I'm a met man and my team's broke Dave well yeah
well some teams don't have a cleanup hit us some teams don't have a closer or a good pitcher my
team has no money Dave what what happened to the money where did that go birdie made it off in the
mat I don't know Dave I didn't go to school today how am I supposed to know this I'm just a lonely
comedian but they are broke do you have do you have season tickets they they don't have tickets
no more dude really the four tickets no more tickets tickets cost money they want paper they
have no payment they just show up and then you get up oh boy and a dog licks your hand and you show
the spit and then you get your daughter actually licks your hands yes no money Dave I understand
do you understand now I understand yes Dave this year second base is a manhole cover damn really
oh my God for the whole year for the holy year oh yeah second but ever between every
Innings I gotta they they use the other team's gloves and you and you say the problem is what
again they got no money got no money they got no catches Mass this year oh I think
they're gone go to work on it get an ugly guy the Yankees got Bat Day the Mets got bring of that day
here you go Jose Reyes my daddy gave me this for Christmas maybe you could use this well it'll be
fascinating yeah how's your uh an idea your two daughters are they sports fans I got girls Dave
and they do girly things Dave
so there's a lot of tea parties and just girl crap dude I have to pretend to enjoy
right I want some singing kid that Will Smith messed it up for everybody that's kids singing
and dancing the guy's already taking pots from me now his kids are taking parts from my kids
that's bad parenting
what the hell Smith don't you have enough Damn You Will Smith uh are you working
tonight kid and you have to go to this I gotta do a play yeah I know are you gonna
be all right I gotta do a play I understand what about that uh you must have heard of
the Charlie sheeness oh Charlie Sheen don't you just love Charlie Sheen well they kick them out
doing what for being Charlie Sheen
like that now you the craziest guy at the network you know that right wow
thank you
I look at it
I look at Charlie Sheen I really you know if Charlie Sheen was Muslim the
United States would bomb his house you know that right because he's a mad man
understand what is our country's foreign policy we dropped bombs to help people
does this really make sense to you it's like I'm in a restaurant a guy's having a
heart attack oh my God he's having a heart attack I should go kick him in the balls
well yeah yeah hi sure I don't know what our policy is there are you are
you going to have anything left for the play tonight
I'm so impressed Chris with your uh I don't know if this is your stage debut but on Broadway in a
brand new play yes it's getting tremendous reviews and I know it's a lot of work I
mean it was a ton of work Dave do you like that to do another play I like working Dave
people are out of work I have a job and I'm
your stars
is it's fine yeah all right I'm with you on that dance with the star Celebrity Apprentice any job I
gotta get if I got to get Donald Trump coffee I'm and I'm not doing that good right it's different
to acting than stand up or being in the field oh it's real active yeah in a movie they can fake it
they can get anybody to act Ive this is the real stuff Day first of all every morning I get there
and they give me like they give people the the lines they missed the night before Oh my God
yes like to the T yeah like you said a uh it was a the they write it down man and like everybody else
in the play has like little pieces of paper one sheet two sheets mines looks like the Sunday Times
one day I actually ran through it I realized I was doing cats [Applause]
but it is a lot of work for God's sake shows away eight shows a week
Dave eight shot well you do what five six seven you know five five
but you have to do two on like uh Wednesday two on Wednesday two on Saturday yeah yeah yeah and
what are those matinee shows like it's a lot of old white people Dave [Applause]
well thank God I gotta have something to do they seem to enjoy themselves yeah I'm sure they do now
we have uh we have some pictures uh here Chris and I think this is uh you'd look different you
have a beard I got a goatee I'm trying to get away from you in the play but then you also
[Applause]
I appreciate that there you go it's all yours Sonny what are you doing a play Dave unlike
here you know you got all these people that take care of you right yeah in a play you have to put
on your own makeup do your own makeup on here yes that's not true you know nothing about that right
no I don't that's not true people you have to put on your own you have to put on your own makeup
well you don't know anything about makeup I don't even put them on in real life okay in my real
life real life sure but my play Life I take it old school right so you put on your own makeup so this
is me getting ready this is me before you like the person I've become you look good I play the
hat yeah you will beat that right I don't know okay uh I may I may have to go kick the machine
so but now now Chris let me ask you a question I look fine here right right you don't need makeup
here no no no no no I'm too gorgeous right there all right so now next card out we go to the next
one this is me putting on the makeup right and that's just me I'm a thesbian Dave that's right
after this I'm gonna do I might do a Tyler Perry in the park I might do that right sure I'm working
for it yeah you know Medea three you know anyway so this is me putting on the makeup right change
the next picture is me right before I go on stage change the card let's do it there you go whoa
that's amazing
ain't that stuff that is something hey Dave well tell us the ladies love me I know they
do and I and I love you as well thank you I love you Dave thank you now tell us a bit about the
play it's a new author new first time uh Stephen Natalie jorgas good guy the bad addiction Dave
it's about addictions it's kind of like The Honeymooners with with cocaine a little bit
it's a domestic it's hard to describe but it's uh it's a play about addiction I play a drug
counselor in the play and I'm trying to get people sober in the play and uh plays really good it's
hard to describe but it's uh must be really good funny it's very funny Dark comedies hey hey no
you know it's you know while I'm this it's the great black way all of a sudden now right but um
the place about addiction and it's about couples a couple of couples and you know you see the god
of Carnage or something like that and you know we're trying to get over our addictions how's
that how's that good I appreciate that and uh you're gonna long long run let's hope so
like I always wish I had an addiction really yeah yeah cause when you're like addicted to
drugs it kind of wipes the Slate clean anything you do wrong people forgive oh he was on drugs
well that's true oh my God he was on drugs oh I'm sorry there's no rehab for stupidity Dave
that's absolutely right remember that kid there is no rehab for stupidity well here it is you
can see uh Chris Rock live on stage eight times a week at the Gerald schoenfeld the theater always
a pleasure my friend have a great run thank you very much Chris Rock [Music] thank you [Music]