Hey everyone, so in this little series I’ve been demonstrating that the earth isn’t
flat without using any science, simply by looking at things like the moon and stars
and airline flights.
But believe it or not, there is an even easier way to prove that flat earth is the dumbest
hoax on the internet, which involves no observations of any kind.
And that is to examine the conspiracy itself.
So to begin, let’s remind ourselves of what flat earth priests would have you believe.
They tell a story of how the most powerful people in the world over the past several
thousand years have conspired to convince its citizens that what they live on is a different
shape than what it really is.
Beginning as a simple lie, it slowly ballooned in scope, culminating in the 21st century
landscape we are now familiar with, where every single celestial phenomenon, every field
of science, and every aspect of technology must revolve around this spectacular lie.
Trillions of dollars are spent every year on fake space missions, and paying off an
unthinkable number of people, an army of shills, all to keep the deception going.
Clearly, this is nothing short of the deepest and most well-orchestrated plot humanity has
ever conjured.
It represents a level of cost, coordination, and airtight secrecy that seems utterly impossible.
But then again, the stakes are high.
What is the payoff for all this effort?
What do these ultra-elites gain by filling the sheeple’s heads with images of globes
and outer space?
The answer is…
Nothing.
Yep, that’s right.
Nothing whatsoever.
There is absolutely nothing that anyone could gain from telling this lie.
Flat earth priests themselves typically don’t even bother offering a rationale as to the
motive.
For the few that do, what do they say?
Some of them say it’s “to hide god”.
Seriously.
This is very dumb, as any god who is so weak that it can be hidden by its own creations
is clearly not worth worshipping.
Also, if that was the plan, then it totally didn’t work, since most people in the world
do believe in some kind of god.
Others insist that it’s all about some form of control, but again, this is stupid.
Beyond not offering any tangible control, you don’t need such a huge conspiracy to
control a people anyway.
Look at any authoritarian dictatorship.
North Korea does this wonderfully by restricting liberties, internet access, and using forced
labor and executions.
Viola!
A brainwashed people under strict control!
As for most of the rest of us, we do pretty much whatever we want.
We have to have jobs, and we get into credit card debt, and banks have too much power,
yadda yadda yadda, but the shape of the earth has nothing to do with it, and lying about
the shape of the earth would give no one any advantage or any measure of control whatsoever.
There is no wealth to be lost if people were to find out the earth is flat, nor is there
any power to be gained by the masses through such a revelation.
Speaking strictly socially, nothing would change.
So the idea that people are spending trillions of dollars per year to push such a lie is
idiotic.
Nobody spends that kind of money for literally no reason.
But that’s not all.
Let’s more thoroughly explore the social ramifications of this.
First up, the sciences.
If the earth is flat instead of roughly spherical, and all of space is fake, there are several
scientific disciplines that must be deemed fraudulent from top to bottom.
First, geology.
All geologists know the earth is a sphere, so they must all be liars.
Then, physics.
Physicists know that gravity exists, which it couldn’t on a flat earth, so they’re
all shills too.
Astronomy, you’d better believe it.
All of space is fake, so anyone who studies space is a liar.
Everyone who talks about other planets, spacecraft, volcanoes, earthquakes, earth’s atmosphere,
earth’s core, or anything even tangentially related to any of these topics, must be in
on it.
This means two things, both of which are equally absurd.
First, millions of scientists all over the world, in dozens of different countries, whether
working under their government, universities, or the private sector, are all somehow unified
under one hidden entity, and not a single one of them is spilling the beans.
With flat earth there are no Edward Snowdens, there are no Serpicos, not a single one has
come forward to offer a shred of insight as to how this Orwellian scheme is propagated.
Even the President of the United States with all the power at his disposal can’t receive
fellatio and keep it a secret, but a scam about the shape of the planet we all walk
upon, with millions of people in on it?
No problem.
Second, since literally anyone can become a scientist, there has to be a specific point
in the academic process where all the new shills are inducted.
So when is that exactly?
Is it second year of graduate school where they take all the 23 year old kids to the
Eyes Wide Shut sex mansion party?
Or is that only after you have a PhD?
What about all the undergrads who are learning the lies and can see that something isn’t
adding up, but haven’t been brought to the sex party yet?
Shouldn’t any of them be asking questions?
Exactly where is the line between shill and innocent, and wouldn’t any of those students
fast approaching that line be making YouTube videos about it?
They’d be rich and famous, after all.
Moving on, it’s not all about academia, either.
Let’s go to the federal level.
As much as flat earth priests pretend that NASA is the only game in town when it comes
to space exploration, NASA isn’t even the only space agency.
There are about a dozen others around the world.
Then there is the private sector.
Obviously there is SpaceX and other such companies, but why stop with rockets?
All pilots, or navigators of any kind, use a spherical earth to get around.
Anyone who works in communications technology, aerospace engineering, architecture, cartography,
meteorology, or even politics, just what percentage of people on earth are in on the conspiracy?
When you consider all the aspects of our society that rely on a spherical earth and a self-consistent
set of physical laws, it almost seems as though the number of people that would be in on the
scam outnumber the ones that constitute the mark.
And all of these corporations, which are beholden to share holders, are they really throwing
money down the toilet paying salaries to people who don’t actually do anything, and building
technology that serves no purpose?
That’s not how money works.
And finally, let’s get to the flat earth priests themselves.
Those maverick renegades, those Neos in the matrix.
This conspiracy has been going on for millennia, but it ends now!
This secret society of Freemasons has had every single world leader in their pocket
since the dawn of civilization, but they are no match for a few high school dropouts with
YouTube channels!
Whatever are they going to do?
What could they possibly do except immediately murder every single person who ever posts
a flat earth video in ten seconds with a laser beam.
Honestly, given the magnitude of the conspiracy as it is peddled, and the titanic power ascribed
to its progenitors, the fact that flat earth channels even exist at all is proof that the
earth isn’t flat.
Why would these people spend thousands of years and quadrillions of dollars to construct
the ultimate deception, and then risk losing it all by letting some bozos talk into their
webcams?
Who could believe that they mastermind elaborate narratives like a fake moon landing, building
hundreds of enormous rockets and making them somehow disappear, fabricating tens of thousands
of new images per day, and yet they can’t pay a hit man a couple grand to go take out
some slack-jawed basement dwellers?
This really is the bottom line.
If you’re uneducated, you can ignore all the science.
If you’re lazy, you can ignore all the observations of the sky.
If you’re stubborn, you can ignore all the photographs of the Earth from space which
objectively are not CGI.
Even if you ignore all of that, the story just doesn’t work.
America and the USSR were not cooperating during the Cold War.
Conspiracies do not get passed down over a hundred generations.
There is no Darth Sidious controlling the empire from a secret base.
It makes no sense.
Of course in the end, we all know that it’s a ruse.
Among all the internet hoaxes, flat earth is unique in its stupidity.
It is just a meme that spiraled out of control.
It’s a satire of conspiracies that became a parody of itself when people unexpectedly
actually started falling for it.
That’s when the latest wave of flathead con men came into fashion.
These are the bottom feeders that scrape together a meager living from livestreams aimed at
the same couple hundred poor saps desperately searching for purpose where they otherwise
have none.
They are big fish in the smallest and most pathetic pond imaginable.
This is why flat earth is the most stunning example of the psychology of conspiracy in
existence.
It exemplifies the abandonment of logic that some people are willing to enact in order
to reject the reality of their own inadequacies and cling to a fantasy in which they are super-special,
part of the chosen handful of John Connors who know the truth.
The simplest of minds are unable to accept a reality that does not recognize their brilliance,
so any narrative that upholds their supreme status will be blindly accepted, even if it
requires that basic logic and the laws of physics be rewritten.
As long as it is anti-establishment, as long as it rages against the non-existent machine,
as long as it requires no actual knowledge or thinking, being ordained into this alternate
reality is the defense mechanism of choice for the delusional narcissist with no skill
set to match.
And it is this most obvious of realizations that leads me to part ways with the flat earth
phenomenon.
It was fun for a moment, but as far as I can tell, it’s over.
The flat earth priests haven’t even acknowledged my last few debunks, as they were just too
airtight to bother addressing.
The patronage of flerf channels is on the decline.
Even the trolls with their sock accounts have lightened their activity.
Whatever bizarre social experiment this incarnation of flat earth was, it’s done.
But what isn’t done is the psychology of the delusional narcissist I just described.
This is something I’m not at all done with.
In fact I’ve only just begun.
This precise character shows up in the realm of astrophysics, pretending to understand
the field better than astrophysicists.
It shows up in the realm of medicine, pretending to understand the human body better than doctors
and biochemists.
While only a tiny percentage of these types have the brain cell deficit required to fall
for flat earth, they all eventually find their home, which is usually some other conspiracy
or anti-establishment narrative that ends up doing a lot more damage, always just so
that some jerk can make a buck.
So while this seems to be the end of the road for me with flat earth, as there truly is
just nothing left to say about it, perpetrators of hoaxes in all other realms, prepare yourself.
I'm coming.
Until next time.