- (yawning) Morning, honey.
- I am mad at you. - Why?
- You cheated on me. - No, I didn't.
- Just did, in my dream. - I'm sorry?
- It's gonna take me a minute to get over this.
- For a dream?
- Yes. - Honey, I would never-
- Well, you just did. - Really? Who was it with?
- I dunno. I think it was like Idris Elba.
- Huh...
- Wait, what? - Hmm?
♪ Our pointless fights ♪
- Can you just put your clothes in the hamper please?
- Yeah, hang on. Sorry, I was in a rush.
- You were in such a rush
that you couldn't go the extra foot
between the floor and the hamper?
- Honey, it's not a big deal. - It's a big deal to me, okay?
- 'Kay...
- I need order and cleanliness.
- Honey, look- - You know, my mental health
depends on things around here just being little more tidy.
- I don't wanna be critical, but-
- So if you could take that one towel
that you left on the floor and put in the hamper,
it would really help.
- But your counter-
- Gotta keep your stuff together.
♪ Our pointless fights ♪
- Hey, I just want grocery shopping.
Will you unload 'em for me? - Yeah, sure.
- Thanks. Are you gonna go?
- I will in in a minute. - It's been a minute.
- It's been 15 seconds. - I guess I'll just do it?
- No, I said I would do it. - When are you
gonna do it though?
- In a minute. - It's been a minute!
♪ Our pointless fights ♪
- Um, excuse me. What is going on?
- What's wrong? - Why is "White Lotus"
on episode five? - Ooh,
I didn't want you to find out this way.
- You watched two full episodes without me?
- (sighs) I know.
- You cheated on me with Theo James.
- No, it didn't mean anything, Kim.
- Tele-dulturer. - Wait, wait, no.
I could watch it again with you.
- Can't believe you're gonna make me
go through all this alone. - Honey, it's just a TV show.
- Our marriage is built on lies.
Did our vows mean nothing to you? Nothing?
- Of course they mean something, honey.
I love you, but when you get caught up,
will you let me know, cuz I kind of wanna
watch the next one.
♪ Our pointless fights ♪
- Today has been exhausting.
I am so tired. - Oh, you're tired?
- Yeah. So tired.
- Well, didn't you get a full night's sleep?
- Yeah, but I didn't sleep great, you know?
- At least you got sleep.
I didn't get to sleep.
- Well, I am tired. - Oh yeah? Well I'm tired-er.
- Only one of us can be the tiredest.
- Yep. - And that person
gets sympathy. - Obviously.
- And gets to skip homework help and doing the dishes
and gets to go to bed first. - Okay, but if we're
equally tired, there needs to be like a tired breaker.
- Heh, I birthed both our children.
- No, don't use- - One of 'em
without medicine.
- There it is. - Good luck with cosines.
(laughing devilishly) Sucker.
♪ Our pointless fights ♪
- Ugh, we left the bathroom light on.
- Can you turn it off? - Why me?
- I don't wanna get outta bed. - I don't either.
- I already got out of bed to lock all the doors.
- I just took the dog out to poop.
- I get up early every morning to pick up the dog poop.
- Yeah, well, I cooked dinner tonight.
- And I did all the dishes.
- I took the trash out to the curb in the pouring rain.
- Well, you know what? - Oh, no, please don't say,
"I gave birth to both of- - I gave birth to both
of our children, one of them without medication.
Night-night.
- (sighs exasperatedly) Okay, fine.
♪ Our pointless fights ♪
- And scene.
Have you guys ever had your spouse be mad at you
for something you did in your dream?
- [Penn] Well, yeah, I have.
This is usually you getting mad at me, by the way.
- Correct.
But in my dream, like one time,
Penn had an affair
and I was mad at him for like three days.
And then his answer wasn't like,
"I would never cheat on you. I love you so much."
The answer was, "When would I have time to cheat on you?"
- [Penn] Don't you think that's a better argument?
(Kim laughing)
I mean it's logical. - It's true.
- [Penn] It's more logical.
- It is true that he just doesn't have time.
I mean, I'm never gonna run into Idris Elba,
but if I did run into Idris Elba...
Hmm? No?
No, but I would never.
But if I did... I mean, but I would never.
Except for if I did.
I mean, but that's the only case-
- Okay, okay. (Kim laughing)
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