-Hi, Louie.
-How are you? -Good. How are you?
-How drunk were you? -I was really drunk.
-It was such a good --
-Yeah, she was wonderful, right? Such a good sport.
-Such a good sport about it. -Yeah.
-That's so nice.
You know, I always thought
they made the "Chucky" thing after me.
-Oh, really? -I used to think that.
I'd go, "That looks just like me."
[ Laughter ]
-And you never got any cash for it?
-I got nothing.
-Are you well, though? Are you doing good?
-I'm great. -Yeah.
-I'm having so much fun. I love coming to New York.
-All right, do you -- Now, you live in Las Vegas.
So I'm assuming you drive there.
-I don't drive anywhere, first of all.
-Okay, got you.
-I just take Lyft. -Okay, got you.
-Because I like the name. -Yeah, yeah, it's nice.
It's a good name.
-A Lyft -- "Louie, a Lyft is gonna pick you up."
Thank God. [ Laughter ]
Right? I just -- They're really nice people.
-And do you enjoy -- do you like driving around New York?
-Well, I'm being driven around. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Because I'm a big shot. [ Laughter ]
I mean, it's nice when someone drives you.
-Yeah, of course. -Yeah.
And then but you -- I am laid back.
You have to get into the pace of the city.
-Yes, it's a different place.
-Like, after I'm in the car half hour, I'm saying to the driver,
"Run him down. He shouldn't be going across there."
[ Laughter ]
Do you ever get -- I mean, it's wrong.
I know. I don't really want him to do it, but...
[ Laughter ]
Because people will dart here.
-There's darters, yeah.
-They will just go. -Yeah.
-And you go, "You're gonna die!" [ Laughter ]
They never do. [ Laughter ]
-People are impatient here. -Yes.
-More patient than Las Vegas?
-Listen, in Vegas, you know --
Well, in Vegas, they're just interested
in trying to find the money they lost.
-Yeah, yeah. Of course. -Or just have fun.
-Sure, they're there to have fun. Right.
-They came there just to have fun.
And here, people are going places.
And I'm at a different pace.
I'm a loper. -Yeah.
-I'm like, "Yeah, I'll get there."
You know what I mean? -Yeah.
-And people are constantly going by me -- "Get going!"
You know, and I go, "Shut up." [ Laughter ]
But I was -- This is the best one.
I'm in the revolving door thing, which I'm always thrilled
when I can get in there and push that thing.
I don't know why. -Yeah, yeah.
-It's like a 2-year-old thing. -It's great.
-"Let me go in! Let me go in!"
I'm in there.
A woman comes in behind me, out coming from the other way.
Obviously, I'm going too slow. -Yeah.
-So she goes, looks, and pushes it faster.
Then I just locked it up. [ Laughter ]
She was furious. She goes, "Let go!"
I go, "What? Let go of what?"
"Stop it!" You know? And it was just so much fun.
Oh, it was so much fun.
-I want to talk about season four of "Baskets."
-Yes. -So great.
-So much fun.
-You're basing this off your mother.
-I am.
-And I know you guys were really close.
-Very, very close.
-You guys were on television together once.
-Oh, yes. -This is local television.
-Oh, my God. -I mean, look at you two.
-Look at that.
-That is a mother and son if I ever saw one.
-Is that cool or what?
That was a Mother's Day special on local with, you know,
local people with their moms, and I happened to be on it.
-And did she have fun?
-She was a little nervous. I was surprised.
-And was she nervous in real life?
Was she a confident person that just in front of the camera --
-Yeah, yeah. She was pretty confident.
But she was a shy -- There was a shy part of her.
-Gotcha. -Unlike Christine,
who's a bull in a china shop. -She is a bull in a china shop.
The clip we just saw, obviously you're dealing with a --
you're shooting with cats.
-Do like doing acting with animals?
-Listen, I wish I got treated like the animals do.
-Really? [ Laughter ]
It is a good situation?
-There's, like, four handlers per animal.
They're bringing them in.
And then they'll say to me,
"Now, she or he doesn't like if you scratch under their chin."
So I'm right away -- -Yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-You can't tell me stuff like that.
[ Laughter ]
I say, "I don't like it when you do this to me."
[ Laughter ]
No, it was fun, and they're great cats,
and it was a lot of fun, and the character loves her cats.
And, you know, so it's good.
-That's good. I also want to ask -- you know,
people tell you not to scratch cats a certain way.
I know people are trying to tell you
and get you to eat healthier foods.
-You know, this is what happens to you when you're fat.
And you other fat people know what I'm talking about.
[ Laughter ]
They get in your business.
They start, you know -- they'll bring --
like, last time I was in Chicago,
they brought me books in a bag -- how to not die.
-Wow. [ Laughter ]
-One of the books was "How to Not Die."
And then the next one was a "How to Not Die" cookbook.
[ Laughter ]
So I'm hoping I can get through the first book.
So that I can know how to cook the food.
And then, they brought -- they said, "We make these cookies.
There's dates in them. They're delicious.
It's like a regular cookie.
They're sweet. They're delicious."
And you open the bag, and they're wet.
[ Laughter ] Have you ever had that?
-Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
-Where you just go, "Oh, wet cookie! Oh!"
[ Laughter ]
Wet, there's something -- and you take a bite out of courtesy
because they're right there staring at you.
"Oh, geez," you know.
And you're moving it around in your mouth.
[ Laughter ]
I cannot wait to spit the wet cookie out.
[ Laughter ]
-I didn't think about how distressing it is
to reach into a bag and touch anything wet.
-Wet, wet cookies. -Yeah.
-I'm looking for, you know, a date cookie.
You know? -Yeah.
-Baked -- not baked, obviously, just wet.
-Yeah.
-They just formed them, smashed them down,
and threw them in the bag.
-Yeah, these are not cookies that were baked at all.
These were just, like, manhandled.
-A lesson -- here's how much of a food addict I am.
I eventually ate all those cookies.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, somebody made them. So that's very nice.
Louie Anderson, everybody.