You are about to change somebody's life!
You're gonna open your mouth and speak
words of advice which, if they listen to them, their lives will never be the same!
Advice is one of the best things you can ever do for somebody
and potentially, if you don't do it very well,
it may be the worst thing you ever do to anyone.
So right now we're gonna get eight tips from the Bible on how you can
give good advice instead of bad advice.
Welcome to "Wisdom in the Word" where we study the biblical art of wisdom because
let's face it only a fool thinks he doesn't need more wisdom.
Tip number one is listen to the whole story that this person has to
share. Proverbs 18:13 says he who answers a matter before he hears it it is a
folly and a shame to him. I want to hear the thing before I answer it or speak to
it so I usually when I'm giving advice I try to get a lot of information first I
don't want to make a gut reaction to what this person says but I want to
gather in all the data get as much as I can from them about the situation before
giving advice in fact the last time I sat down to really counsel somebody we
went out to lunch and I opened by saying hey take your time and tell me the whole
story because I want to really understand what's going on before I try
to give you counsel one thing that really helps you accomplish this is
asking them questions because that's how you will gather the information so you
can have a full picture before trying to give the sermon tip number two is think
before you speak okay I don't mean that to sound trite or insulting because it's
not meant that way at all but rather it's actually take a moment and ponder
the things that you're hearing don't answer them right away proverbs 15 28
says the heart of the righteous studies how to answer but the mouth of the
wicked pours forth evil it just gushes out but the righteous men you're
thinking about it you're considering hmm let me think they've told me this
they've told me that I don't have to rush in my answer I can ponder this I
could even get back with them later if I need to tip number three is just to
remember that this is not about you this is actually a really important piece of
the puzzle in giving advice proverbs 11:2 says when pride comes then comes
shame but with the humble is wisdom so if you want to be able to give wisdom to
people you need to have a humble attitude yourself and realize
this isn't about me this isn't about me proving myself this isn't about me
showing that I'm wise this is about them it's about helping them giving them
better footing for their life more clarity and the decisions they're making
but it is not about me and my ego so tip number two is about the focus you have
in your heart and your mind as you're hearing their story and you're preparing
to give them counsel it's not about proving anything it's about helping
people tip number four is to stick to what you actually know the book of Job
is a really good illustration of people not doing this into the book of Job we
have about twenty nine chapters of content where people are sort of
throwing spaghetti against the wall to see if it sticks with their advice
they're just sort of I'm just gonna guess in your general direction about
what might be wrong and how to fix it and this is something God actually
rebukes at the end of the book of Job God says about all of their many
chapters worth of advice he says in job 38 - who is this who darkens counsel by
words without knowledge they spoke of what they didn't know they had words
without knowledge and it darkened the counselor became advice that was hurtful
instead of helpful that clouded the issues instead of bringing clarity to
the issues so just stick to what you know it's okay to say I don't know
that's not a bad thing that's a good thing and then give advice based upon
the areas of things you do understand and stick to that tip number five is
that you need to be okay with this person getting advice from other people
not just you this actually I think is really important proverbs 15 22 it says
without counsel plans go awry but in the multitude of counselors they are
established last week I did a video talking about getting a multitude of
counselors in your life well if this is a biblical truth that I have to have
multiple counselors that means that when someone comes to me for advice I need to
be ok with them also having multiple counselors or getting advice from other
people not just me because there is stability and wisdom when we get
different and multiple perspectives on an issue so you need to be ok with them
getting counseled from someone else don't take it as an insult if the person
gets advice from you but also gets advice from another individual in fact
you should probably encourage them to do that tip number six be ok if they don't
agree with your advice I think that this is really great this goes with the
humility we spoke about earlier be alright with the person getting advice
from others means you got to be okay with them not agreeing with your advice
or not finding your advice to be a full orbed answer to everything they're going
through if I have to have a multitude of counselors isn't it sort of assumed that
an individual counselor may or may not actually have the whole answer for me so
you need to be alright with this because if you're not if you're not okay they'll
sense it they'll smell it on you right they'll know that they can't talk to you
like I just a straight friend talks to a friend if they have to talk to you and
sort of pretend like you know more than you know to keep your fiction going that
your counsel is perfect in every way and so this causes a lot of problems so the
the simple tip be okay if they don't agree with you tip number seven actually
goes with the last tip and it's this there's a difference between what you
say and what God says there's a difference between your device and God's
commands in Scripture just make that difference just be aware of the
difference between these issues so that you don't think whatever advice you give
as a Christian is automatically God's advice and God's commands we're seeking
wisdom here we're trying to honor God just know the difference between these
things tip number eight this is how you can give incredible advice this is the
best tip I can give you and it's this don't just give advice from your
perspective give God's commands ask yourself this question is there a
scripture is there teaching in the Bible that applies directly to this situation
and then to share it with the person I mean how often is Christian's do we give
advice to people but we're not even asking ourselves is there clear teaching
from the Bible on this topic that I can remind them of Jeremiah 23 22 says but
if they had stood in my counsel God's Word and had caused my people to hear my
words then they would have turned them from their evil way and from their evil
the evil of their doing so this is saying hey God's advice God's counsel
this is gold this is impactful it's powerful it has a whole different kind
of effect on a person when you share God's word with them as opposed to
simply your advice in your counsel so simply ask the question you know go to
that internal awareness of Scripture and your heart and mind and go is there a
verse that deals with this situation is there a clarity or discernment that we
can get from God's Word on this issue and then share it with the person don't
let your counsel be complete until you at least tried to do this now I'd like
to ask do you have advice on how to give good advice please put it in the comment
section for all of us to learn and grow from if you want to learn how to think
biblically about everything I encourage you to click the subscribe button and
make sure to hit that little Bell icon so you can get notifications when I make
new videos pretty much three times a week right now I'm Pastor Mike winger
this has been wisdom in the word where we're studying the biblical art of
wisdom every Wednesday at 5 p.m. Pacific Standard Time even my cat reads the
Bible