THIS IS "THE FIVE." ♪ ♪
♪ ♪
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE, WE
HOPE THAT YOU ARE READY FOR A
HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA LIKE NEVER
BEFORE.
WE HAVE A HUGE SHOW COMING UP
INCLUDING BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND
ARE NAUGHTY AND NICE LIST.
AT THE FEEDING FRENZY WITH SOME
AMAZING HOLIDAY TREATS, A
FESTIVE CHRISTMAS EDITION OF THE
FASTEST PLUS AND THE SECRET
SANTA GIFT EXCHANGE PAIRED OUR
BEST ONE YET.
DO NOT MISS IT.
THERE IS NO BETTER WAY TO GET
INTO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT THEM
BY CUTTING DOWN YOUR OWN
CHRISTMAS TREE.
AND WE SENT TO JESS AGAIN HAROLD
OUT TO CHOP ONE DOWN LIKE THE
REAL MEN THAT THEY ARE. ♪ ♪
♪ ♪
>> WE ARE AT THE HIDDEN POND
TREE FARM IN MENDHAM,
NEW JERSEY.
IT’S A TRADITION THAT WE DO
EVERY YEAR.
WE ARE HERE WITH CHRIS.
WHAT’S NEW?
>> THIS YEAR WE ADDED A TRAIN
RIDE THAT THEY CAN TAKE OUT
THROUGH THE FIELD, WE ADDED A
SNACK BAR AND SOME BONFIRE PITS
FOR PEOPLE TO ROAST
MARSHMALLOWS.
>> Jesse: WE ADDED HAROLD
FORD JR.
>> HEAR, HEAR.
BIPARTISAN CHRISTMAS TREE.
>> Jesse: HAROLD IS A LITTLE
BIT OLDER THAN I AM, WILL HE
WALK ALL THE WAY UP TO DO THE
TREE OR SHOULD WE HITCH A RIDE
SOMEWHERE?
>> TAKE THE TRAIN OUT.
>> Jesse: OH, THE TRAIN. INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK.
INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK. ♪ ♪
♪ ♪
>> Jesse: THIS LOOKS LIKE A
GUTFELD TREE.
IT’S NOT THAT I’M FUNNY, THE IS
ENVIRONMENT WANT --
ENVIRONMENTALIST WACKOS PROBABLY
DON’T LIKE THE TREE FARM IDEA.
>> REAL TRAITS ARE SUSTAINABLE.
AND IN ARTIFICIAL LANDS UP AND
THEN LANDFILL.
>> Jesse: WHERE DO THEY COME
FROM?
>> CHINA, WE HAVE NO SUPPLY
CHAIN ISSUES.
OUR TREES GROW HERE AND ARE
GROWN BY REAL FARMERS.
>> Jesse: MAYOR PETE, NO
SUPPLY CHAIN ISSUES RIGHT HERE.
>> WATCH THE SALT.
>> Jesse: LET’S SMELL THEM.
I FEEL LIKE JOE BIDEN.
♪ ♪
>> TREES ARE JUST LIKE PEOPLE,
IT’S ALL ABOUT GENETICS, SOME
ARE TALL AND SKINNY, SOME ARE
SHORT AND FAT.
>> Jesse: IT’S NOT THE SIZE OF
THE TREE THAT MATTERS.
>> LET ME WRITE THAT DOWN.
>> HOW MANY ACRES?
>> THIS IS 25 ACRES.
YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU
CHECK THE WATER IN THE STAND
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
>> SOMETIMES YOU GET A TREE THAT
LOOKS REALLY NICE IN THE FRONT
AND THEN IN THE BACK IT’S TRASH.
SHOULD I DO THE HONORS?
[SAWWING]
>> WELL DONE, WELL DONE, WELL
DONE.
>> GOOD JOB, JESSE.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
♪ ♪
HAROLD HAS NEVER ROASTED A
MARSHMALLOW BEFORE.
WE HAVE TO SHOW THEM HOW IT IS
DONE.
>> HE IS A HECK OF A TREE
CUTTER.
>> I DID A GREAT JOB.
I’M A LITTLE SORE.
IS THERE A MASSEUSE HERE?
♪ ♪
ONE, TOO.
>> THAT’S GOOD, DON’T HIT THE
NETTING.
BRING IT RIGHT UP TO IT.
>> WE WILL HAVE TWO HOT CIDERS,
ONE WITH BOURBON, ONE WITHOUT.
CHEERS, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
THIS IS YOUR FIRST MARSHMALLOW
ROAST?
>> IT IS WITH YOU.
>> WITH ME.
WILL YOU DOUBLE UP?
>> I WILL DOUBLE UP.
>> WE HAROLD, LOOK AT THAT.
A LOOK AT THAT.
>> YOU HAVE THE HOTTER THING.
A LOOK LOOK AT THAT.
>> LET’S GO BACK TO THE OFFICE
AND WE HAVE TO ERECT THIS TREE.
>> WE HAVE TO DO WHAT?
♪ ♪
>> THE BEST STORY ABOUT ALL OF
THIS IS AMERICAN, AMERICAN-MADE,
AND CONTRIBUTING TO THE GOOD SIDE OF CLIMATE CHANGE.
SIDE OF CLIMATE CHANGE.
♪ ♪
>> DOWN THE HOLE.
>> THERE WE GO.
IF >> ERECTED.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.
"THE FIVE" STAFF, TIME TO
DECORATE.
JOHNNY, WHERE ARE THE BELLS?
USABLE MUSICAL >> Dana: JESSE,
IT WAS VERY GOOD, HAROLD, DID
YOU ENJOY YOURSELF?
>> Harold: I DID, JESSE DID
NOT GET ME WITH A SAW.
>> Dana: M ROASTED A
MARSHMALLOW, TASTE GOOD.
>> Jesse: HE ROASTED HIS TO A
CRISP.
>> THAT’S THE WHOLE IDEA, ISN’T
IT?
>> Jesse: NO, IT HAS TO BE
GOLDEN BROWN, JUDGE.
>> IT CAME RIGHT BACK AT IT.
>> Jesse: YOUR SECOND ROAST
WAS MUCH BETTER.
>> HAVE YOU BOUGHT A BAG SINCE?
>> I HAVE NOT, GREG SAYS THAT I
WENT TO THE WRONG CAMP.
>> Greg: I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT
YOU NEVER ROASTED MARSHMALLOW.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING THAT AS A
CHILD?
IF YOU WATCH THAT WITH THE SIGN
ALL -- SOUND OFF, IT’S LIKE A
NEW YORK MARRIED COUPLE.
OTHERWISE SAID MEN HAPPILY
MARRIED PICKING OUT THERE TREE
FURTHER CONDO.
>> Jesse: NOT THAT THERE IS
ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
>> Greg: A BULLDOG IS ASLEEP
UNDER THE TREE.
THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE THING
IS THAT THING THAT WRAPS THE
TREE.
I MEAN, WHAT AN INVENTION THAT
IS.
WHY CAN’T THEY DO THAT FOR
EVERYTHING?
JUST LIKE WRAPPING PRESENTS.
>> Dana: THEY NEED IT FOR
UMBRELLAS WHEN YOU GO IN.
AND WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO DO IT
YOURSELF IT’S A NIGHTMARE.
>> Jeanine: HOW ABOUT THE
GROCERY STORE?
>> Greg: YOU JUST THROW IT ALL
OUT LIKE THIS.
HOW ABOUT WHEN PEOPLE PASS AWAY
INSTEAD OF A COFFIN?
AND YOU TAKE THEM INTO THE
GROUND.
>> Jeanine: FAIR TIMING.
>> Jesse: YES,
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
A >> Greg: PEOPLE STOP DYING
AROUND CHRISTMAS.
WE JUST KILLED A TREE FOR
CHRISTMAS.
>> Jeanine: THE TREE DOES NOT
CARE.
>> Dana: THE TREE DOES NOT
HAVE FEELINGS, JUDGE?
THEY HAVE FEELINGS.
>> Jeanine: YOU KNOW WHAT, THE
TREE FINDS LOVE IN YOUR HOUSE.
>> Jesse: ON THE 21ST FLOOR.
>> Greg: I THINK IT HAS TO GO
THROUGH HARASSMENT TRAINING.
A >> Dana: DON’T WE ALL OVER
AND OVER AGAIN?
WE ARE NOT DONE WITH THE HOLIDAY
FUN.
THERE IS AN AMAZING NEIGHBORHOOD
IN BROOKLYN WHERE PEOPLE TAKE
CHRISTMAS TO THE VERY NEXT
LEVEL.
SO JESSE AND I WENT TO CHECK IT
OUT.
THERE’S NO BETTER WAY TO GET IN
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT THAN TO
COME TO A NEIGHBORHOOD LIKE
STEIGER HEIGHTS IN BROOKLYN.
THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD GOES ALL
OUT AND OVER THE TOP WITH LIGHTS
AND MUSIC AND AMAZING COMMUNITY
SPIRIT.
>> I’VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY
LIGHTS IN MY LIFE, AND THAT’S
WHY SO MANY PEOPLE COME HERE TO
SHARE THE HOLIDAY CHEER.
LET’S CHECK IT OUT.
♪ ♪
>> Dana: 100,000 PEOPLE COME
THROUGH HERE.
>> Jeanine: 100,000, DO I
BELIEVE THAT?
>> Dana: IT GETS HIM IN THE
SPIRIT.
>> Jeanine: I AM IN THE
SPIRIT, I WANT TO GO HOME AND
DRINK.
I LOVE THAT.
>> Dana: BEAUTIFUL.
>> Jeanine: DO YOU THINK THEY
PUT THESE THINGS IN IN THE BASEM
ALL YEAR?
>> Dana: THEY PROBABLY HAVE A
STORAGE UNIT, PERHAPS.
YOU STARTED THIS AMAZING
TRADITION IN 1986, WHAT WAS THE
INSPIRATION?
>> WELL, I MOVED HERE IN 1986,
AND IT WAS A VERY DEAD AREA.
VERY QUIET AND I’M NOT ONE FOR
QUIETNESS.
I STARTED VERY LITTLE, AND THEN
IT JUST GREW AND GREW AND GREW.
AND EVERYBODY CAUGHT ON.
>> Jeanine: DO YOU HAVE ANY
IDEA WHAT YOUR ELECTRIC BILL IS?
>> NOTHING.
>> Jeanine: NOTHING?
I WANT TO MOVE.
I LOVE THIS HOUSE AND I LOVE THE
ARCHITECTURE, AND ALMOST LOOKS
LIKE A PALACE, LIKE HERE YOU ARE
AND YOU DRIVE IN FROM BROOKLYN.
AND THEN YOU GO UP TO THE PALACE
OF PARIS.
>> Dana: THE PARIS OF
BROOKLYN.
I LOVE THAT, IT IS GORGEOUS.
>> Jeanine: SHOULD WE GO KNOCK
ON THE DOOR?
>> Dana: WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF
YOU KNOCK ON A DOOR AND THEN
THERE IS JUDGE DINEEN?
>> Jeanine: YOU DON’T THINK
THEY WANT US HERE?
>> Dana: I THINK THAT MEANS NO
TRASHING.
IT ALSO SAYS NO JUNK MAIL, NO
FLYERS, NO TAKE AWAY MENUS AND
NO NEWSPAPERS, THANK YOU.
>> Jeanine: THAT DOES NOT
LEAVE ME OUT.
CAN WE FIND OUT WHO LIVES HERE?
I CAN DO MY BOX DAY AT THIS
CASTLE.
>> Dana: WE SHOULD DO THAT.
>> Jeanine: I WILL DO THAT.
I WILL.
>> Dana: WE CAN ADD MORE
ASSIGNMENTS TO YOUR LIST.
>> Jeanine: I’M NOT BUSY, ARE
YOU?
>> Dana: NO, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL
NEIGHBORHOOD.
IT’S JUST GORGEOUS.
>> Jeanine: IT IS REALLY
SOMETHING.
>> Dana: LET’S CHECK OUT THIS
GREEN HOUSE.
>> Jeanine: A LOT OF GREEN.
♪ ♪
>> Dana: YOU DO THE
DECORATING, HOW MANY LIGHTS DO
YOU PUT ON A HOUSE LIKE THIS?
>> AT MOST TIMES IT’S 32,000.
>> Jeanine: 32,000 LIGHTS?
>> Dana: 32,000 SETS OF LIGHTS
LIGHTS.
IT IS AMAZING, BUT ONE THING
THAT IS AMAZING IS WHEN YOU AND
I ARE TOGETHER NEITHER OF US HAS
TO WEAR HIGH HEELS.
>> Jeanine: I LOVE THAT, WE
CAN WEAR OUR FLATS AND WE ARE
THE SAME.
I HAVE FLATS ON, HOW ABOUT YOU?
>> Dana: I WENT FOR THE LOW
WEDGE.
>> Jeanine: I LOVE THIS HOUSE
AND I WILL TELL YOU WHY, I DON’T
KNOW THIS HOUSE.
I DON’T KNOW WHO LIVES HERE.
BUT THEY TOOK AN ORDINARY CHERRY
AND THEY MADE IT LOOK -- TREE
AND MADE IT LOOK LIKE A
MUSHROOM.
THAT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO GO TO
KOHL’S OR HOME DEPOT OR LOWE’S
AND GET WHITE LIGHTS AND TRY IT.
I WOULD PROBABLY KILL MYSELF ON
THE LATTER.
>> Dana: I LIKE THAT THEY HAVE
THE THEME OF THE TOY SOLDIERS.
>> Jeanine: YOU CAN’T GET IN
THE FRONT DOOR, YOU KNOW? [LAUGHTER]
♪ ♪
>> Dana: THE COMMUNITY SPIRIT
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD MUST BE
SOMETHING PRETTY AMAZING FOR
EVERYONE TO COME OUT AND DO
THIS.
>> EVERY YEAR WE GROW MORE AND
MORE, PUTTING OUT MORE LIGHTS
AND MORE DECORATION.
IT’S JUST A PART OF THE FUND
THAT TAKES PLACE.
>> Dana: JUDGE JEANINE AND I
ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO GO.
WE HAD NO IDEA THAT IT EXISTED
IN BROOKLYN.
AND HE LEFT AT?
>> Jeanine: I LOVED IT.
THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE THERE,
IT WAS STUNNING.
IT REALLY IS THE PLACE WHERE YOU
GO TO SEE THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS,
AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEIR
BILLS ARE.
BECAUSE I WAS READY TO HANG
MYSELF FROM THE TREE THAT THEY
DID NOT LIGHTS.
IT >> Dana: THERE YOU GO BRING
IT UP AGAIN.
>> Jesse: HOW MUCH DID YOUR
HAT COST?
>> Jeanine: MY HAT IS SO OLD
THAT THE PERSON HERE TOOK THE
KNIT TOP OUT AND PLOPPED IT ON
MY HEAD.
>> Jeanine:>> Jesse: YOU SHOULD
IT THE SET.
>> Greg: HAVE YOU NOTICED
SOMETHING MISSING FROM CHRISTMAS
THAT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT?
>> Jeanine: NO.
>> Greg: MISSILE MISTLETOE,
THAT HAS BEEN METOOED OUT OF
EXISTENCE.
I GUESS IT IS MADE IN OREGON.
>> Jeanine: WHY THAT BE
METOOED.
EVERYBODY LIKES TO KISS
SOMEBODY.
KISS THEM.
I’M THINKING IN MY KITCHEN.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Dana: IT’S GETTING HOT UP
THERE IN THE KITCHEN.
>> Greg: THE PLUMBER MUST BE
THRILLED.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Jeanine: HE USED TO BE A
COP.