When you think
about the first time we met
what do you remember feeling?
(Laughs)
This is way too early in this to be crying.
Um...
First time we met
in person
was when you came out and
I don't know how to quite put that in words,
but if I could try, I would say
I was proud, um
and overjoyed.
It's like
a million Christmases in one moment.
So yeah.
Don't make me cry.
No, I'm... (laughs).
I knew this was going to happen
eventually that's why I brought my tissues.
But yeah, that was our first meeting.
And I was really excited.
I was scared.
I was really scared.
But
even with like all of the fear
and a whole bunch of things
going through my head,
I felt ready, like,
“Here we are
and we're about to do life together”.
That's it (laughs).
Yeah. All right.
We are cryers over here, so.
You’re okay? - Mhm, yeah.
You’re shedding a little tear.
What do I do
that makes you feel I understand you?
Checking up on me every day.
Like having conversations with me every day.
Just like that, like,
you could be on break or something
and you just come into my room
and it's like, “Hey, what's up?” - Mmhm.
So— - Yeah.
What’s some things you never
would have done if it wasn't for me?
Some things I never would have done...
A lot, um.
I think before you came
I wasn't really focused on my purpose.
Before you I also wasn't
intentional about unpacking
some of the things that I had
experienced growing up. So,
if it wasn't for you,
I don't know if I would have started therapy
when I did
and, um, just started to be really intentional
about my healing process.
I reconciled my relationship with Papa
while you were in my belly, um
and I don't know if that would have happened
had it not been for me being in that moment
with you in my belly and knowing that
I got to get it together for you (both laugh).
Really. So...
yeah.
What’s...
What about this next one...
Mm.
What does family mean to you?
Mm.
Means a lot of things to me.
It means like peace to me.
Like...
I can't describe it in no other words,
is it peace. Peace?
Yeah, ‘cause my family brings me peace.
So that's why. Mhm.
But what about you?
What does family
mean to me?
For me, family is
a safe space.
Um...
And really like belonging to something.
To a whole unit.
So...
And outside of the safe space,
I think I'm still discovering that as we
move forward and continue
to love on each other and learn
every day, I feel like I'm like, “Wow,
my family provides me with this”
or “I feel this when I'm with my family”, um...
So yeah, I feel like that's also evolving.
How are you raising me differently
than you were rai—
(both laugh) than you were raised?
And why? - Um...
What am I doing
differently? Um...
I think really getting to know you
as an individual outside of
your title or the role of son.
Um like, I want to know what Chase likes,
what Chase enjoys, what movies Chase likes.
You know? What Chase wants to wear.
So, being intentional about getting to know you
as an individual, um
and I think also
making sure that I put myself at the priority, um
because I know that that doesn't always happen.
And when you become a parent, everybody tells you
everything is about the child.
I was like, “Of course you're my world, but...
I still have dreams,
I still have goals, I still have aspirations”.
And it's important for me to still pursue those
and still take care of myself.
So, you know, I love a self-care day.
So that's one of the things that I feel like
is really, really different and having fun like,
I know I'm your mom, but
I still want to dance with you
I still want to
go out, hang out,
try different activities with you.
I think that there can be a balance
and it's important for us
to just have fun together.
Got you, got you.
What do you think
is the hardest thing for me, being a single mom?
Um...
Let me got to think about it.
I mean, at this age
I wouldn't really like know right now, but
probably like when I'm older, yeah, but
right now
I don't think like nothing is hard for you.
(Laughs)
Well, at this age right now, but yeah,
that's just me, though.
I mean that’s flattering, um...
What do you think
was hard for me when you were a baby?
Um...
Well, I heard I was like really chill
when I was a baby, so— - You were.
Probably not me.
Um, just like,
probably like getting all the things for me.
Like...
Maybe like food or like...
Yeah.
What is the most powerful lesson I’ve taught you?
Uh, the most powerful lesson?
You teach me many things.
I would say one of the biggest ones is
just to be more compassionate.
Like, you're really compassionate.
So in a moment where
I'm in my feelings,
something has annoyed me or frustrated me like
when Starbucks gets my name wrong every time.
(Laughs)
And what did you tell me?
I forg— Oh!
You said,
you know, maybe she just made a mistake.
And
for you to tell me as the adult, right?
You always remind me like, “Hey,
people make mistakes” and it really
encourages me to be more compassionate,
not only to others, but also to myself,
like, “Hey, you can make a mistake, it's okay”.
Got you.
You’re okay?
Mhm, yeah.
How can I support you
even more in becoming the person
you want to be?
Um...
Just by doing what you are already doing like,
give me love, like peace.
Um, yeah.
It's okay.
But yeah, that’s it.
So more of what's already happening.
I mean,
if you keep doing this then...
Yeah.
(Laughs) Okay, I— listen, I hear you.
When you look into my eyes what do you see?
When I look into your eyes...
I see lots of power,
lots of ambition,
lots of curiosity.
I see the best parts of me,
really.
Without the weight of the world.
I see that.
And I see your lashes that I'm somewhat
jealous of (both laugh).
Um, so yeah.
I mean, my eyelashes are good.
No, the lashes and the eyebrows.
I think that's it.
Hey there.
Thanks so much for watching.
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and you want to ask these questions
to your own family,
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