Awright, treacle?
Right then, let's get into some Power of the Primes, or as all the cool kids are calling it, POTP,
which pretty much seems like one big Generations victory lap.
Like an epic encore greatest hits medley of all the best bits of Combiner Wars and Titans Return
plus every single possible scrap of G1 that's left to revive
with like, a gaggle of digivolving Leader figures,
a parliament of '87-'88 backbenchers,
an absolute girlwind of long-neglected fembots,
and a pantheon of pocket-sized Pretender Primes cast as teeny tiny Headmasters with no face
and the Dinobots.
And also, apparently, one completely left-field Legends duo-combiner!
So watch me while I gravitate toward a rare chance to prattle crap about Battletrap!
But first, let's rewind for a second with a swift sniff at the original Battletrap
who's something of a notorious late-G1 lamewad and one of only two ever Duocons
which is a Transformer that has a single robot mode that splits into two vehicles
which sounds cool, but y'know, life is pain.
'Cos look, he just goes boom, like this, and that's it.
That's what he does.
So, he's really not very good, but he is quite cool!
Like, the helicopter's cute, and the van's kinda fun
with its simplistic design and hot pink windscreen!
And the robot mode's definitely got something, man,
even without any real arms!
Just the colours and the cool head and the mix of alt-mode bits, like some kind of vehicular centaur!
But, much as I always liked him, I definitely couldn't see him ever coming back!
I mean, I totally thought this'd be one of those guys we'd just leave behind in the '80s.
But I was wrong.
Double wrong.
Because in 2015, the Botcon boys brought back Battletrap
as this triumphant triple-changin' troublemaker!
Oof! Try sayin' that three times fast.
I was SO psyched when this thing came out, man, 'cos Battletrap was back!
That dweeby little nobody that I was sorta fond of had returned from the void
as a hench Voyager-class bruiser based on friggin' Generations Springer -
one of the dopest Transformers of the decade!
Alt-modes are on point, the heli-chest is perfect,
he's got the optional back rotor and his signature double gun,
and they even expanded his character a bit!
What's that? His alt-modes rejected each other so they had to make him a Triplechanger to save his brain?
Brilliant.
But annoyingly, I couldn't get hold of one for like two and a half years,
and when I finally did, it turned out the helicopter mode wouldn't work 'cos his back panel's all squiffed
and the very first time I transformed it his head fell off.
Oh, Funpub.
I'll funp you ub.
But just the sheer unlikelihood that we'd ever see this character again
was kind of enough for it to still be a treat.
And with that, I was dead ass certain that that was a wrap on Battletrap.
But I was wrong.
Triple wrong.
Or is it still double?
Or is it more now?
I was wrong as shit.
Which brings us back to the present day and Power of the Primes,
which recently dropped an all-new incarnation of our favourite chimeracon absolutely out of the blue
with zero fanfare about six days after those in-hand warehouse shots leaked
with suspiciously good timing!
Y'know, I'm actually a bit miffed it turned around so fast.
I mean, I JUST got the Botcon one in December,
and then suddenly an all-new Generations one pops into existence
before the novelty's even worn off!
Plus it meant that I dropped about £70 in the space of a month on one character.
...and it was Battletrap.
Anyway, this newest addition to the Duocon dynasty comes as an unexpected one-two combo!
This is Battleslash and Roadtrap,
a pair of ideal-timeline Deceptisiblings based on either half of Battletrap
and reworked into a fully separate character and I love them!
Let's begin, then, with this blue boxvan bloke. This is Roadtrap!
Check out this sublime small boi!
He's like, the perfect archetypal Decepticon road scout,
just a huggable little henchkid who is a robot that clearly is also a car.
He's about as grounded as it gets, and I fully support his endeavours.
So Roadtrap in his own right is an all-new dude with an all-new 'tude
rockin' an original, if indistinct headsculpt.
Like, that red synthcore visor is badass
but is that a mouthplate, or has he just not got a mouth?
Bod's got some hot tatts and a sort of pointy nipple ripple goin' on?
Arms are massively passable with a slight backways blockage
and the legs are somewhat stumpy and completely dominated by these neato feeto.
And that's kind of it.
I mean, I don't really expect a lot of depth from a guy who's one half of an absolute nobody
and that's pretty much what you get!
Nothin' fancy, no layers to explore,
just a disarmingly dumpy straightforward sass master with 200% attitude!
Absolute trap queen!
[SCRATTY PUNK RACKET]
Transformation pretty much just involves unpackin' those size 19s and then
tuckin' everything else in behind 'em.
And the van mode's... let's say lovable?
I mean, it's hardly the tidiest, with the straight-up visible combiner crotch
and his roof all covered in robot tits.
But he's a good fun little knockabout nincompoop!
He's definitely got that same sorta scrappy unambitious charm!
Just a basic little boxvan in a gorgeous deep blue
with the flat-line headlights and the tow cable
and that wicked raspberry windscreen, which I think might be my favourite bit of '80s Transformer design?
I mean, is there anything more iconic?
So yes, mildly mediocre as he may be,
Power of the Primes Roadtrap totally holds his own as the perfect Generations update of
Battletrap's legs and butt.
Battleslash, on the other hand, could hardly be accused of being the perfect anything!
I mean, I love that he exists now, as a technically all-new G1 canon character
but he's just SO bad.
Like, he does work! Nothing's floppy or busted.
Chestplate's actually pretty sweet, with a bit of original robo detail on there!
Love the super-serious silvery face
and I guess the overall off-white is kind of oddly appealing
but he just looks so uncool.
He's the wrong shape!
Like, he's so weirdly wide, with the flat frontage and giant birthing hips
and what's with these ankle flanks and the giant butt mounted crap catcher?
Look, I don't wanna clobber him too hard, 'cos he does seem like a fun fella
and if nothing else, I respect what he does with the blades!
I do sort of like him, but it's a soft like.
Almost a pity like.
[CLUMSY AMATEURISH PUNK]
[GARBAGE DRUM FILL]
Transformation's actually super swish!
Like, it's surprisingly involved, everything sorta splits open and swings around somewhere it shouldn't!
Just a shame it ends up as the world's dumpiest dweebcopter.
Just look at it, all uneven and knobbly
with the massive lumpen front side and the pathetic shrivelled bum end!
Cockpit's all tiny and squished up there and the rotor's got, like, zero clearance!
It's like, all the bits that are actually a helicopter are crammed into the top millimetre
and all the rest of this bulk's just dead weight
with this giant gormless gape gap up the front
like some mental mechanical Birdo.
To be completely fair, he's clearly sacrificed having any decent modes of his own
for the good of the combiner!
But dude, if I'd just bought Battleslash on his own, you could call me an Albany ham.
Steamed.
[DODGY BLACK METAL]
So combinin' these two battle bros is pure Superlink smiles, man!
Y'know, for all his faults, Battleslash is actually crazy fun to transform, and this is clearly the job he was born for!
And Roadtrap just three-quarter mitosises into some angry trousers.
And one awkward cloaca-face interface later [squelching]
Generations Battletrap is in full effect!
Check out this smooth little sexface!
He's just such a stunner with this hourglass figure and luxuriously limber rave-ready joints!
He is ALL hips!
Head's a flawless little robo cube with a cheeky sky-blue mush and the signature silver shades
like proper hater blockers there!
Torso looks sickening with this full-body deep-V Decepticanopy
and these sexy cerulean bod windows!
Arms are good and chunky, with these crustaceany shoulder blobs and some ballsy ball joints!
Not crazy about the wrist kibble and these awkward built-in thumb shivs
and I feel like I would have preferred blue arms?
But, y'know, there is a lot they're trying to do and at least he's GOT arms.
Bit more unfortunate extraness 'round the back there
with poor old Battleslash's little arms just hangin' loose with nothin' to do.
I personally prefer the far-away backpack realness
but I guess you could do like a Vishnu thing and flail 'em out all crazy.
Anyway, between the obscene ab crunch and the fabulously fluid hips, he's definitely a bendy boy!
Love these skinny thighs just pokin' out of all this leg baggage
with like, arms and wheels and robo-boobs hangin' off him like he's slowly droppin' his jorts!
Pink's a-poppin' with these fierce fuchsia foot straps
and he finally cashes the cheque that his G1 boxart wrote thirty years ago
by actually having two different feet!
No weapons to speak of, but you can probably pop a Prime Master in his paw?
Maybe Metalhawk for the colours or Cloudburst for the two barrels, or both?
But it is a bit weird that there's no Prime Master integration at all?
Like, he doesn't do the head thing, and the other Legends lads at least have somewhere to sit.
But these guys are so wrapped up in the Duocon thing that they seem to forget to be big picture team players.
And y'know what? That's okay, 'cos this could be it for the Battletrap bloodline!
I mean, there's always gonna be another Optimus Prime, another Jazz, another Grimlock,
but with somebody like Battletrap, you gotta treat every shot like it's the last.
You gotta focus up and just get it right.
And baby, this time, they crushed it!
G1 is done.
Predaking can eat it.
Battletrap is everything!
I still can't quite believe this.
An all-new, full-featured, basically Deluxe size Generations Battletrap in my hand right now
and I'm not even dreaming!
And I've got a tiramisu!
This is f**king amazing!
Be sure to subscribe for more Thew's Awesome Transformers Reviews.
Limited appeal, keeping it real.