(energizing electric guitar music)
- From the Edinburgh Fringe Festival,
it's Set List: Stand Up Without A Net.
(cheers)
We are here at the Pleasance Ace Dome,
with comedians from around the world creating
stand up comedy out of thin air, on the spot,
under pressure and without any preparations whatsoever.
- Ah, well, I think Rob is
the yankee bastards coming in,
thinking they can, put shit into our minds.
but it's okay, I turn that shit into diamonds.
You are welcome.
- Mr. Marcel Lucont!
(cheering)
- Well, well.
(audience laughs)
Many things have been on my mind this past month.
(laughs)
For a reason.
(laughs)
Most person like to prepare in a relaxed way,
before coming to the Edinburgh, French.
I figure, how to, really
recreate, the feeling of being
criticized by every cunt in town.
(laughs)
I tend to do, to really get into the spirit of Edinburgh,
is to invoke the spirit, of a long dead critic.
(chuckles)
There is a Ouija board.
What I do is tend to just
let the glass move, it does not matter,
if it makes no sense with the word at all,
it's the average french review,
(laughs) just a lot of,
letters simply placed together
to apparently form an opinion.
(laughs)
And the perfect way to relax before to do this,
is obviously to simply drop the last ten French programs
onto your board from the last ten years.
(laughs)
Accurate portrayal of your month to come.
(laughs)
Now, of course, this can lead to issues.
(laughs)
Of when you invoke, not a ghost, but a member of the undead.
(laughs)
And usually a gropey kind as well,
I don't know why I seem to attract this kind.
That's the thing, the way to kill the Zombie is,
of course, to remove the head.
But some person get this wrong and they go for
(laughs)
different kind of head.
(laughs)
Of course, this gives the wrong impression
and the zombie straight away believes you are interested.
(laughs)
It's just, you know, get the terms right.
"Go for the head", it's too vague.
(laughs)
It's the problem with your fucking language,
too much play on words.
(laughs)
(applause)
Still,
(laughs)
something we can all agree on
is whether we are or are not a polar bear.
(laughs)
It's something I've never struggled with in my life.
(laughs)
Look at myself in the mirror,
Did I eat fish today?
(laughs)
Hm, okay.
(laughs)
Could be.
(laughs)
Still in a gray region.
(laughs)
Think, am I endangered?
There is only one of me, so,
(laughs)
technically still in that zone.
(laughs)
I think, do I have a deep seated hatred of penguins?
(laughs)
Almost racist notion, if a penguin move next door,
I think (growls) how would I treat the penguin?
Also it is black and white, I don't, I...
(laughs)
(raspberry)
It's difficult to know if you are racist towards penguins.
We are still in this zone of unknowing.
Am I a mammal, am I a mammal?
Yes, I am, so we are still there.
So actually the point I went out to prove
is actually bullshit. (laughs)
None of us ever truly know
if we are or are not a polar bear.
(laughs)
(cheers and applause)
But,
well, it's tragic.
I wish to reveal to you the secret of the lost police unit.
(laughs)
It's a branch that went a little too undercover
some years ago. (laughs)
to the extent where even they do not know if they exist.
(laughs)
It's a real existentialist crisis for all of them.
The way to do this, you can find out if they are there.
You get a penguin. (laughs)
You paint the white part of it black,
shout for help.
If suddenly the penguin is arrested by a mysterious force
in its now black state,
(laughs)
you have found the lost police unit.
They have come and they have done their job.
(crowd cheers)
That is all the advice I have to give to you tonight,
you have had enough already.
Merci.
(cheers)
(energizing electric guitar music)
Well, it's been some time since I have done Set List show.
Actually, I think even I managed to meet my standards,
which is constantly difficult, but hm, it was achieved.
(heavy breath) I don't know what were the topics again?
I'm quite fucking drunk I have no idea what just occurred.
(upbeat music)