- There are a lot of cities in the world.
How are you supposed to know where to live?
How do you know if a place
is going to match your personality?
Well of course, the best thing to do when you need advice
is go to the internet and take a quiz.
Where are they gonna tell me I belong?
And here we go.
Here she is right here.
I have no idea what I've said so far.
Here we go, here's this girl sitting,
looking at the Eiffel Tower, la tour Eiffel.
French word of the day.
Maybe if my city is Paris, I'll go there
and I'll meet this girl,
and we can have our first date
sitting there looking at the Eiffel Tower.
We're going to HowStuffWorks.
I really don't know where I am.
We're going to howstuffworks.com
to figure out how stuff works.
How do cities work?
How does a personality work?
How does life work?
All right, lace up your Jordans and let's get started.
And I make you a promise that
whatever city comes out of this quiz,
I will buy a ticket and move there tomorrow.
Okay, I'm gonna have to walk that back.
I have no intention of actually doing that.
Which motto best fits your life?
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die?
Dark.
Education is the movement from darkness to light.
Well, you guys know I only have a third grade education
so that doesn't really fit me.
All we are saying is give peace a chance.
(clears throat)
And creativity takes courage, man.
I'm gonna go with that one. (chuckles)
Which award would you be most honored to receive?
The Pulitzer Prize.
The Academy Award.
The Booker Prize.
I don't even know what that is.
The Nobel Peace Prize.
Ultimately, I would like to be recognized
with a Pulitzer for something.
Do they have a YouTube Pulitzer yet?
'Cause they should.
How late do you usually stay up?
The older I get, the harder this is,
but I still am often up until 2:00 a.m. or so.
I'll probably be up to two or three with this video.
How many books did you read in the last year?
Why you gotta call me out like that HowStuffWorks?
Honestly, we got to go with, I don't read books,
which is ironic.
The Pulitzer Prize winner who didn't read a book.
That is actually a good story though.
It's an underdog tale.
You got all these book nerds who are winning the Pulitzer,
it's time for someone who doesn't read books.
Someone who struggles,
someone who has to overcome an obstacle.
How much butter do you consume?
I don't know if I've ever said this on this channel,
but butter is actually my favorite food,
and I'm not even joking.
That's not hyperbole, it's true.
Who is saying I cut butter out of my diet entirely?
What kind of life do you live?
That is depressing.
#buttalifeeee.
What's highest level of education?
Well, as I said earlier, it was only third grade.
I have my master of arts in butter.
Do you believe in rehabilitation,
or punishment as being a more effective tool for criminals?
My knee jerk reaction is to say
throw them all in jail forever,
no matter what. Did they jaywalk?
Get 'em in jail.
Get that criminal behind bars.
We live in a society, we can't tolerate this lawlessness,
but I have a soft side,
and so I'm like maybe that jaywalker
could be rehabilitated and learn to walk in the crosswalk.
Are some people irredeemable?
When was the last time you went
to some form of live entertainment?
Uhhhhhh...
When was the, I feel like I went to something.
What have I done?
I think I've just been in my room.
I'm just gonna say it's been a while.
Before we continue with the quiz and get my results,
let's take a quick commercial break.
So YouTube can show a commercial
that's redundant.
To support this channel,
and it will go here if YouTube loves me.
Would you consider yourself to be a gambler?
There was a stretch where,
I got a lot of scratch, scratchers, scratch cards,
whatever you call them.
I was getting them like every day.
I didn't win anything and I was like, this is dumb.
So I'll say I know the odds. But if I was rich,
I'd be blowing money left and right at the casino,
so I could feel like James Bond.
Do you enjoy eating?
Why, yes, I do.
At a buffet-style restaurant.
I don't do it often, but I'll,
so I'll say I might do it once in a while,
but it's not my favorite.
I want someone waiting on me hand and foot,
and acting like they're irritated with me,
when I ask to the split the check.
How would you describe the level of romance in your life?
We're not even gonna talk about it, okay?
Do you have a lot of embarrassing stories
that you keep hidden from those close to you?
I'm so embarrassed all the time for myself
that nothing really stands out
as being particularly embarrassing.
Which description best matches what you're like at a party?
I'm having a passionate conversation
with a few people in the middle of the room... nope.
I'm talking with someone in the corner, yeah, that's me.
And that someone is myself in the mirror.
What do you think about taking a trip to the art museum?
That sounds great, I need some inspiration.
I'm up for it.
I'll probably learn something interesting.
No, you're not gonna learn anything in an art museum.
It's about enjoying the art, not learning. Stop.
I'd have to be in the right mood to do something like that
and I'm not feeling it now.
Wow, kill joy.
That sounds boring,
I'd rather do pretty much anything else.
I'd rather go skateboarding, dude,
than look at some dumb paintings.
Yeah, I need the inspiration.
Is your lifestyle more peaceful and serene,
or is it filled with conflict and chaos?
My answer is I have a little bit of conflict and chaos,
but mostly my life is calm and quiet,
and consists of me locked in my room.
How do you generally prefer to get around?
The answer is clearly a car.
I would walk if I was close to anything I needed,
but I'm not.
Public transportation is terrible,
and I'm never taking it ever again,
and taxis, I... why--it's just someone else's car,
why don't you just take your own?
Are you afraid to try to find a parking space?
Are you afraid to try to parallel park?
Is that your problem, huh?
Do you enjoy learning how things work?
Well, I am always curious about how things work,
but I'm not always taking them apart,
so I'm just gonna say I might have some curiosity
about how things work.
Oh my gosh, and we're on howstuffworks.com,
I hope they don't take it personally,
that I don't always care about how stuff works.
What kind of muzak is most appealing to you of these four?
None of them.
I'll say classical to make myself look more erudite.
Do you play any musical instruments?
Yes, I play a bunch of them poorly.
What tickles your funny bone?
What do you find, uh, humorous?
Witty humor, dry humor, slapstick humor or dark humor?
Of these four, witty humor.
Sharp little bits of wit in there every once in awhile.
I love it.
Which meal sounds most appealing to you?
Is butter gonna be one of the answers?
Beef bourguignon, fish and chips,
smoked salmon or hamburgers and fries.
Call me simple, but I would just like the burger.
Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?
[speaking extremely softly] Well, I think you guys all know that I am very extroverted
and everyone is always telling me to calm down,
and I'm just too extroverted.
What pace do you tend to move at in life?
(hiccup)
Are you working on a piece of artwork right now?
Does this count?
Does my YouTube video count as a work of art?
I think we'll all agree,
this is a work of art that will transcend the ages.
One day they will have,
instead of like a Shakespeare class in college,
it'll be a Frank James class.
Okay, here we go.
We're gonna see the results.
Oh my gosh.
I am so keyed up right now.
I can't wait to see what city I should live in.
Please enjoy this ad while we're calculating your results.
Well, guess what HowStuffWorks?
I got ad block, but I turn it off on YouTube
so I can support other creators with my 0.16 cents per view.
View my quiz results.
Come on, man.
Oh my gosh!
(audience clapping)
I got Paris, gay Paris in France.
You are an artist
and someone who is drawn to exploring
the depths of emotion and self-expression in this life.
You wanna be surrounded by those
who see the world in a radically different way.
Yes, that is me.
That is me to a T.
I was trying to think of another word
'cause I didn't want to rhyme there.
You know when you awkwardly rhyme,
and you didn't mean to and it makes you look silly?
So yes, after all I will get--
it's two different girls.
I'll get to meet this one here.
She's got some balloons.
She's about to push herself off the ledge
because she thinks she lives in "Up,"
and that the balloons are gonna save her
from falling to her death.
They won't, I'm sorry to tell you.
I'll get to date her and this first girl.
Does it really matter that I can't see their faces?
Nay.
You know what I think really tipped it was the butter thing.
I'm pretty sure butter is Paris.
They were just like,
"Yeah, butter you like butter?
"Just go to Paris."
They put butter in everything.
They love butter over there.
La beurre for our second French word of the day.
Not sure if I got the masculine or feminine right,
whatever.
Now I gotta Google it, I gotta know.
Beurre is masculine.
I am so sorry.
Le beurre.
[very French accent] Beurre
Well guys, looks like I'm moving to Paris tomorrow.
What you gotta do now is you got to take this test yourself
and let me know in the comments section
what city you belong in.
Thanks so much for watching.
Gently tap the like button if you enjoyed this video.
Subscribe if you would like to see videos like this,
and others, and until next time, stay cool and attractive.
(lively music)