Listen, Shorty, uh, we know each other a long time, right?
About 30 years. Yeah.
And, um,
I sense that you got a secret that's
maybe causing you a lot of anguish.
You heard something, right?
Well, I had the same situation with my son Mitchell.
Really? Yeah.
And I didn't handle it too well either.
And, uh,
I just want you to know that you can open up to me.
That I'm going to do all I can to help you.
Well, I mean, I,
I never said this out loud before to anyone, but
I guess if I did, it would be you.
It's just that. Jay you see I'm, uh.
I'm.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
I'm in debt.
Huh?
I owe a bookie 20 G's, and he's a serious guy.
And you offering to give me the dough?
This is beautiful.
Wait a minute. You're not gay?
Gay? What are you talking about? Gay.
I'm not gay.
Where'd you get gay?
Come on. I mean, you're always talking about clothes
and everything, right?
My father was a tailor.
I like clothes. So what? Are you calling my
father gay? No.
My father landed on Normandy to save your ass.
You know, if you weren't lending me 20 Gs,
I knock you out right now.
Take a check?
Cash would be better.
Haley? You ready?
Let's do this.
Turn on the TV.
[beep]
[TV noise]
Nice.
Mute it. [TV noise]
[beep]
Unmuted.
[beep]
[TV noise]
Put on a DVD.
[TV noise]
[beep beep]
Skip forward.
Wait.
Um.
[beep]
[cheering]
Okay, back to TV.
[beep]
[TV noise]
Face!
Don't get all cocky, Phil.
Let's see what happens to little Haley when
I do this.
Oh!
(whispers) Face.
Dad. What do I do?
No panic. We went through this.
Just. Just think.
Give up, give up.
Admit defeat.
Haley?
Okay, uh, let's see you put the remote on to
TV mode and then press input till you get
HDMI one, and
[cheering]
Whoo! Ha ha ha!
I did it!
She did it!
I got it!
[laughing]
Fine. You proved your point.
Everybody in this house is smarter than me.
No, honey, you're missing the point.
I taught Haley how to use the remote in 20 minutes,
so think how fast you can learn it.
What's that supposed to mean?
You see what I'm saying?
[loud knocking]
Mitchell? It's me!
[door opens]
Hey, dad. Hi.
Hi.
I'm here to let you know your gaydar is broken.
Shorty is not gay.
No, I, um, I knew that.
I just, uh, I made that up to mess with you for dissing cam.
What?
That cost me 20,000 bucks.
What do you mean?
I reached out to him, you know, to let him
know it's okay to be gay.
You did? Yeah.
Right after one of the stranger golf lessons of my life.
Turns out what he is is a lousy gambler.
And now I'm the one on the hook for it.
Well, I'm so sorry.
Then why are you smiling?
I'm. I'm proud of you, dad.
And you're growing.
Just. Just stop it.
Please? Don't you see how hard this is for me?
See, I used to be just like one of those guys. Now look at me?
I got a house that looks like little Colombia.
I got a gay son and a Chinese granddaughter.
Vietnamese.
Only you would know the difference.
Ok, don't worry, dad. Not growing too much.
I'm a little nervous.
Don't be.
I'm sure you look beautiful.
[gasp]
Whoa!
What do you think?
Look at you?
Really?
You gonna be fighting men off
with a stick.
I don't know about that.
Cameron. Hi.
I'm sorry for the popover, but I just wanted to bring you these to thank you
for babysitting Lily again last night.
Oh.
Ay, gracias.
You didn't need to do that.
You know I love Lily.
Come in. Say hello.
Oh, hi, Cam.
Cameron, this is my new friend, Whitney.
Whitney, this is Cameron.
Hello.It's nice to meet you. That is a spectacular dress.
This old thing?
What about her hair?
Oh, my gosh, it's like Barbra Streisand and
"The Way We Were." One of my favorites.
Me too.
Okay. Who is reading "The Forevers"?
I am.
I am so obsessed with this whole vampire thing right now.
Me too.
I just met the sweetest guy named Cameron.
I think he might be the one.