They set up my computer, and now my ex is spying on me.
What can I do?
Hi, everyone.
Leo Notenboom here for AskLeo.com. Here's the question I got.
I was dating a guy who installed Linux
on my computer and is also the administrator of my computer.
He can completely monitor my computer from his home.
We are no longer dating, but he is still screwing around with my computer.
What can I do?
He also knows my passwords.
Now, I normally don't delve into relationship advice.
I'm not that guy. You're at the wrong "Ask: column.
But this is so common that I wanted
to address it from the technological point of view.
It's not at all uncommon for someone you
trust to at some point become someone you no longer trust.
And that opens up a whole different can of worms.
When it comes to technology,
it's really important to understand that whoever it is that sets up your
computer has total access to it, complete and total access to it.
And they can easily set it up so that they
continue to have complete and total access to it no matter what happens.
That's unfortunate, because when trust is violated, when they are no longer
trustworthy, well, changing passwords is important
for those accounts on which that person may have access.
But in reality, it's nowhere near enough
because you don't know what they did to your system.
There's really only one solution reformat.
By that I mean you'll have backed up everything that's on your system.
But you'll erase the hard disk
and reinstall Windows from scratch, reinstall your apps from scratch,
and recover your data from wherever you happen to have it.
That's the only way to guarantee that your ex has no more traces on your machine.
You'll notice that it's very much the same
as the what I call the nuclear option for removing malware.
The only way to be absolutely, positively certain that you've removed
malware from your machine reformat, reinstall.
In a sense, when they violate your trust,
whatever trace they've left behind has become malware.
And really, that's the only way to guarantee that it's gone.
Now, you could approach that either of two ways.
You could use this as an opportunity to learn what it means to take these
steps, learn what it means to back up, reformat, reinstall and so forth.
Or you can find someone else to trust.
Now, that can be tricky because you may
find yourself reluctant to trust after having gone through this.
But sometimes it's the only option that could be again.
A techie friend, a techie family member, or it could be a paid service.
But the bottom line is that you're going to have to trust them the same way.
They too could leave traces on your machine.
They could be able to access your machine
long after they've done whatever setup work they've done for you.
That's why trust is so important.
Most do not.
Most services are good most friends are
probably trustworthy, but it is a door that remains open.
And one of the most important things you can walk away from this experience
understanding is that it's possible and that these are the kinds of steps you
might need to take should that trust ever be violated again in the future.
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I'm Leo Notenboom and this is askleo.com. Thanks for watching.