So can I tell you something?
So I'm pumping gas and this ratty ass dude
is staring at me like I'm at hot sandwich.
So i wind up doing the deed with him in the back of my car.
But you know what? It was fine because I got that limo tint put in my Nissan cube.
But promise you wont tell anyone?
I swear on my sick uncle's remaining foot I am not going to tell a soul.
You promise? Promise.
So they made love in a cube?
Yes, they made anonymous love in that ugly-ass car.
Did you hear about Frank?
No.
His wife caught his mistress shaving her triangle...
in their master bathroom.
Huuuuh.
Really???
Yeah he made me swear on my sick arm that I wouldn't tell anybody.
Why do we betray our friends so much, James? Why do we have such sick uncles?
Because they both went together to a nude vacation
and caught a super bug. Oh that's right the super bug.
I hate being a gossip.
Yeah, me too.
But it's so much fun. It's so much fun.
Before we stop beings gossips can I just give you one more juicy item?
Hell to the yeah!
You know our neighbors?
Ralph and Pierre?
Yes.
You know the Italians?
So our neighbors. Get to the point.
The Italian ones?
Yes.
Suppebly they- It's supposedly.
Supposingly they have been in jail numerous times.
Really?? Yes, the drunk mailman told me.
I bet they robbed a Michael's crafts.
They've probably stolen someone's kidneys.
They are horrible, horrible people. They're monsters.
They told someone who told someone who told me that they - AHHHH!
What?? Oh my god.
They are at the door. Oh my god.
I'm just going to pretend like I just noticed them in a second,
I'm just going to get up.
We're just going to try this.
Oh hiii! Hi you guys
You look amazing.
Hiiiii You look incredible! You look like super models!
Hi! Hello! What do you got there?
Oh, we made some rigatoni. Oh some, rigatoni.
They made us rigatoni! You are the best, I can't wait to eat it.
Because I'm sure it's the best rigatoni I've ever had in my life.
You just eat that.
Let me try some too. Oh my god, is that good!!! It's so good.
This pasta could stop a war. It could stop a war.
We should tell the President.
I wish I could eat the whole tupperware container.
We're so glad. Thank you! You guys have a wonderful day!
We appreciate it and we love being neighbors with you!
You're terrific people! Oh my god, James.
We have got to stop being gossips.
Look at us! Look where this got us!
At our core we're good people. We're such good people, we're better than that James.
Do you think Pierre is gaining weight? God yeah.
Especially down in the haunches. Yeah.
She's getting like major saddle bags.
Probably.
Well, I don't want- excuse me.
Well I guess I'll hug myself.
I love you.