From the tombs of ancient pharaohs
to the medals around Olympians' necks,
we humans have long been mesmerised by gold.
In fact, it's hard to think of another substance
with such universal appeal.
In everything from monarchs' crowns
to Oscar winners' statuettes,
gold screams pre-eminence.
It's all over our culture,
from golden tickets to gold discs,
from golden handcuffs to comedy gold.
(LAUGHTER)
Originally formed from the debris of stars,
gold's physical properties are extraordinary.
It can be easily bent into different shapes,
but has a much higher melting point than tin or lead.
It never rusts or tarnishes
and is a great conductor,
making it perfect for electronics.
Tiny slivers are almost certainly in your mobile phone.
As metals go, it's pretty rare.
In fact, all the gold ever found in the world
could probably fit into a cube 23 metres long on each side.
And this rarity has often made it popular as currency.
Of course, you can't pay many bartenders
with gold coins nowadays,
but it's still one of the safest assets
to hold in a market crash,
and nations still hoard it to prove their strength.
But take a closer look at gold, and its crown begins to slip.
We love this stuff - but we love it too much.
Just ask King Midas,
who paid the price with his daughter.
The Spanish Conquistadors terrorised the Americas
for gold.
Their brutality towards the Incas,
Maya and Aztecs
delivered 100 tonnes to Spanish kings,
worth around £5 billion at today's prices.
Most of it was melted down,
destroying countless works of art and jewellery.
In the 19th century,
gold seduced men and women in a different way,
as they hurried to wild frontiers
like California and southern Australia
for gold rushes.
Although some did strike it lucky -
Bernhardt Holtermann discovered a gold specimen
weighing more than 289 kilograms
in Australia in 1872 -
many found only a few flakes,
while the real fortunes were made
by those selling them shovels.
Indigenous people also suffered terribly,
often attacked and forced off their land to make way
for this new industry.
Gold and war often go hand in hand.
Some conflicts are fuelled by gold disputes -
South Africa's brutal Boer War of 1899 to 1902
being one example - while in World War II,
both the Nazis and the Japanese stole huge quantities of gold.
Much of it was never recovered.
When states aren't stealing gold, robbers are.
The biggest UK heist was the Brink's-Mat robbery
of 1983,
when six armed men attacked a warehouse
next to Heathrow Airport.
They escaped with 6,800 gold bars
packed into 76 cardboard boxes.
Most of the gang were never caught,
and most of the gold has yet to be recovered.
It's thought that some of it was melted down
and mixed with copper to hide its origins.
As well as being stolen and smuggled,
gold is continually plundered from the earth.
Gold mining is notoriously energy-intensive,
producing as much carbon each year
as the emissions from about 28 million cars.
Unless it's done very carefully,
mining can contaminate rivers,
wreck ecosystems
and send highly toxic pollutants like mercury
into the air.
Unregulated small-scale mining also lures millions of people,
many of them children, into dangerous work
in some of the world's poorest countries.
So next time you want to add a little bling
to a loved one's birthday, you might want to consider
the journey that gold has been on.
Humanity's obsession with this dazzling metal
has driven us to violence, exploitation and destruction.
Perhaps if we appreciated gold's dark side,
we might use it more wisely.