Hey Dan here and this video is an AskDan from
an INFP and I'm gonna read the question we're
gonna deal with that and then get into a wealth
of topics surrounding it in terms of fear and
limiting beliefs about what we can actually get
paid for or your ability to follow through and
create your Dream business or career. So here it is
Hi Dan, my limiting belief is that I will never
get my coaching business off the ground because I
keep taking more classes fidgeting with my
website offering free workshops to get experience
etcetera etcetera, so basically
Uh doing anything you can that is not getting
paid for your work. Awesome discovery recently
that I'm an INFP has given me a lot of insight
into how my personality relates to my stuckness
I love your other INFP videos and
wonder if you might do one addressing the
limiting beliefs that often accompany that type.
Thanks for all your useful info. You offer Cool.
Uh yes, this is something that not only affects
INFPs I would definitely say it comes up a lot
with my ENFP coaching clients as well, and
probably most human beings ever so this is not
just an issue about
a certain type, what's really going on here is fear,
fear is a bastard fear is the thing that comes in
and stops us from doing what we want to do. But
it acts and really subtle ways right so doing.
The consistent education which a lot of people
do, whether it's becoming a coach and taking it
thousand training programs before you actually
start coaching or doing a master's degree, then a
phd degree then a second phd degree because you
want to avoid sort of the real world uh. This is
all ultimately coming down to fear and that fear
ultimate
Comes down to a belief about how good you are.
What you deserve and what you can succeed in and
I know I'm getting very therapist here right and
I don't like to go there but that's ultimately
what is happening here and we often have these
beliefs around what we deserve to be paid or what
we can be paid for uh last night. We had a group
coaching call for The Free Freelancer which is my
training program for coaches and freelancers and
we're talking about this aspect where is someone
is a really fun client or they're really good
clients where you did Enjoy working with them
often, the people have a tenancy to charge that
person less because it feels weird to get paid
really well for work. That you're going to enjoy
right. This probably is a puritan thing or
derived from some other religion. Right where we
have these beliefs like we must suffer life, has
to be hard if it was easy than that would be
messed up right. It has to be tough and so we
have these beliefs about like if I enjoy my work,
then I shouldn't get paid for it and that's of
course garbage right because if you enjoy
What you're doing and you're working with clients
that are um on the same wave, like this. You,
that energize you, that you can give a lot of
value to guess what you're actually helping them.
A lot more than if you are doing some things you
didn't, like or that you hate it dee energized.
You procrastinated all those sorts of things so
our our belief system often is we should get paid
more for the things we don't like doing because
we don't like doing them, which there's some
logic there.
The problem is we don't enjoy something then that
means we probably don't do it very well and that
means we shouldn't get paid. That well on the
other hand, if we really enjoy something, if
we're really able to help our clients and I would
use my work as an example of this where I only
work with clients that I, I enjoy working with
that. I believe in because I don't wanna help
people I don't believe in as well in terms of
their goals, are they're what they're trying to
do and
because of that I'm able to deliver a lot of value
to my clients because I really believe in that
right and I get behind them and I want them to
succeed and so I should charge less for that.
That doesn't make sense or at least it's not
going to apply to by pricing and he times to
write and so going back to about touching and
your limiting beliefs they're ultimately, what's
happening if you're failing to pull the trigger
at something is you're scared. You could fail and
yet failing sucks I've done it um it's off
The best thing we can ever had happen to us, but
in the moment it sucks and it's scary and the
weird thing is people will often try to do
something else. That they're not that passionate
about it, because they don't care if they fail
and so I had this discussion with someone
recently where they had a very clear Dream,
business the freelancing profession. They wanted
to do it was apparent from 30 seconds into
talking about that, talking with them, that they
knew this is what they wanted
And it was very clear to me, but they wanted to
start off doing a totally different freelancing
business to sort of learn about freelancing
because and this is when we got below the
surface, what was going on because they were
afraid. If they started off with their Dream,
business is thing the thing they were passionate
about. I wanted to do then. They were afraid that
if that failed, with the hell did I do with my
life like I failed at my Dream where is, if they
try this other thing, they don't really care
about where they
They can make some money then well, whatever if I
fail I'll, try some other things, I don't care
about and then one day, one day in the distant
future. I might try my Dream that stupid don't do
that. I'm gonna tell you the same thing. I told
him don't do that that is dumb and uh. It is dumb
and yet it is natural and it is instinct instinct
fl instinctual instinctual uh I've been talking
too much the last few days in teaching. My tongue
is not even working well here. No jokes about
that and uh
So it doesn't make sense to do this right, even
though this is what a lot of us do. I've done
this where I probably knew that what I do now, I
am some level newest. What I wanted to do six or
seven years ago. At least you can find videos of
me on youtube. Five years ago. Maybe when I
started in Costa Rica tend of talking about
similar topics and having this passion three
years before that I actually started my coaching
training. I wanted to become a coach
And I started something like uh personal
development newspaper because it was a way to
sort of do coaching without being a coach cuz. I
felt insecure that I shouldn't be a coach yet now
there's, probably some reality of that. When I
was 23 24, I don't think I had the life
experience, perhaps to be a coach and and that
but ultimately I knew what I wanted to do and I
took this really long exact path because fear and
insecurities were essentially like up there but
working under the surface, so I never said to
myself you know Dan like
Be a coach yet you're too young instead do all
these other things but it was there sort of in
the back of my mind and it was uh exciting. My
judgment perhaps in changing what I was doing so
what do you do about this good question. I'm not
gonna leave you hanging here so if you find
yourself in this position where really you know
what you wanna do, what that Dream gig is for you
and you're putting it off you're doing this
education cycle where you're taking course, after
course, after course, but you're not actually
getting anywhere by the way little self plug here
in my course the freelancer is all about doing
and taking action and accountability, so if you
still take that So if you are in this position
where you're constantly taking programs or
educating are doing free work rather than
charging people, you got to set a deadline for
yourself and have a hard deadline. That you
cannot get around uh or just do it today. Like if
you want to be a frequent writer and you've been
wanting to do this for a long time go on facebook
right now. Well, at the end of the video and made
an announcement that this is what you're doing
and just start doing it, commit to it. I'll link
to a couple of
articles on my website here about using this
technique to quit a job in advance so I
wanted to quit, but I wasn't ready to quit so I
set up the system that would force me to quit
like four months later, so I couldn't do is
myself and get over to get around it and uh. I go
through what I did it's pretty interesting. I was
way smarter back then, and uh and also the same
thing. How I started my freelance copy writing
business and matter of days after deciding and
it's all about hard decisions, not these soft
decisions, like oh, I kind of want to do this
I'll see maybe one day we'll see what happens
A hard decision is something you can't turn back
from right it's a contract with yourself and with
the world where you commit to something and I've
used this in so many cases that works really
well, because once you commit and really commit
to something you will change and you will make
what has to happen happen and uh I've done this
with you to videos as well as I said I'm gonna
film videos, three days a week. I did that for a
while um. I committed to it for three months and
When I committed to this like, how am I gonna
come up with three videos, a week, but once you
commit to it, your brain finds away you're
smarter and more resourceful than you ever think
you are and so what you wanna do is to commit to
that outcome. If you're wanting to become a coach
uh set the deadline and say I'm not taking any
more education. I am going to only work with paid
clients and set that deadline for yourself. Maybe
it a month from now. Maybe it's today uh in the
case of the viewer who wrote in um make it today
We have the training you've been working with
people for free commit today to no longer do work
for free and only take on paid coaching clients
and start making that happen make that firm
commitment. Personally, I find the best way to do
this is announcement publicly where you will
facebook is obviously the best way to do this,
but you can do it with friends privately where
you commit for me um hypocrisy is one of the
worst things I hate people who say one thing and
do another and so
I hate myself, when I do that and so publicly
committing is very valuable for me. It doesn't
always work. Um case in point. My uh still in
progress, both which is yet to be published which
I may have committed to having finished already.
But jet really uh the public accountability works
really well so I would encourage you to make that
commitment and just making a hard change with and
I also encourage you to face down those fears and
really play through that
And you can do that with a quote you can do it
with a friend or if you're up for it, you can
also do it alone. Look at in this case, try to
becoming a coach look at the up in the pros and
cons of the down side the pros and cons where you
look on one side and say okay, if I do this, if I
commit to following through on my Dream, what is
the best case scenario, probably it's pretty
awesome okay. I can tell you as someone who's in
many ways living history is pretty awesome okay,
so the plus side is probably a 10 or 11 or 12 out
of 10. If you commit
Going forward with your Dream facing your fear
and doing it, if it works out, it will be awesome
if it doesn't work out. What is that worth case
scenario. Ok right now. You've taken all these
coaching classes. You been working for free for
people. If you commit to getting paid for it the
absolute worst case is you're, not getting paid
for coaching cuz. You don't get any clients
cool that's exactly where you are right now, so
let's not going to make a huge difference right
and maybe you'll have
Disappointment maybe you'll be questioning things
about your life right and I really meant to be a
coach. I failed. I didn't get client so that sort
of thing one of two things is true. That you
either need better strategies and hopefully, my
videos. My business videos on this channel can
help you. There but you need better strategies.
You need a better approach or you need to just
keep going things take a lot that could be one
taste the other cases maybe it's not actually the
right fit for you. Whatever that Dream is, you
might realize that um you
one to do it, but it's not actually what you're
meant to be doing and if that is the case and it
happened to me before where I've thought one
thing was the direction and then kind of realized
that wasn't that is a blessing and the sooner you
can figure out that what you thought was going to
be your Dream isn't actually your Dream the
sooner you can uncover what your real Dream
actually is and get to the core of that and that
is so much more valuable right. You don't wanna
be this person And if you are, that this person,
I apologize and I wanna help you with love but
you don't want to be this person. Who's 50 or 60
and you've been not doing what you should be
doing with your life because you've been thinking
you have this. You know, Dream and one day maybe
I'll do it and then not only have you put off,
maybe 20 years of doing this Dream, but when you
do do it, you realize that's not even what you
wanted and you're you're back to square one and
um of course, if that's where you're
You know
awesome today is the day the day to change right
and um. I work with clients have made this change
and they've got awesome results that it like so
use. No time too late right. You can make that
change, but while you wait for all that time to
pass right if you're knowing deep down what you
wanna do start doing, it now. If it's not the
right thing again you'll figure it out you'll
find the right thing, try fail, try fail, try
sale, keep going every time you try something and
you fail. You learn something about yourself.
One. What you're not gonna act two for only about
some of your weaknesses
and three you narrow down. What the actual
final goal for you is right. What that I should
say, go, but what that ultimate calling for you
is so keep up this process. Don't quit after a
couple of weeks, but if you go ahead, something
for a year and you talk to a few advisors or
mentors or coaches or whatever, and then you get
the feedback like yeah this might not be the
right fit. It's only a year of your life you've
got a lot more are gonna live to be like 200 now
with all these crazy science happening so you've
got at least a hundred and 60 more years or so
ago, ballpark plus or minus
40 and so just keep going try out different
things, but if you don't do, you will never learn
learning about something and doing something or
totally different and if you're sitting on the
sidelines you're building up this fantasy world
for yourself about what it could be. What that
Dream you know will be like and that may not be
the reality so the sooner you can jump into that
Dream that you can do it the sooner you can
either make it happen and be living. Your Dream
and awesome or realize that Not the right fit for
you and also you can figure out what is the right
fit and then work towards that and then oh you've
got your real Dream. Awesome you've achieved it
so that's it. Thank you for putting up with me if
you are um interested in more personality
training. I do have a free email course that I'll
make sure to link to in this pop up thing. Maybe
there that goes up one of these cards in the
description below its just a five part email
training that I have uh
Traditionally, it's only been four readers of my
book but a link to it. Anyhow so you get it as a
bit of a bonus and it's just a training on how to
apply your personality type and knowledge of
yourself to actually move forward and make your
Dream happen and I also have another free
training. I do a lot of writing and free training
today as you can imagine, um I'll call the life
design approach and that you find right on my
website dreams around the world dot com,
something will be there. You know, get the life
design approach or one of those pop up things and
uh that is all about designing your life around
you about taking action
Make your dreams come true and it also contains
some scandalous sex stories and other ventures
for my travel. So I think you'll enjoy it thanks
for watching. If you haven't yet subscribe to the
channel of catching another video soon have an
awesome day and again don't forget about those
dreams take some action today towards what it
is you actually want for your life. Ciao!