-The 442oons FIFA23 e-World Cup -Who will be crowned world champions?
-Not England -Shut up Timo!
-Ow, my ankle! -That was out of order
-You want some? -What?
-If you want some I’ll give it you… -CUT!!!!!
-The Last 16 -If you missed the group stage video
-that will be because there wasn’t one. ACTION! -Netherlands vs Wales
-You’re playing by yourself today Gareth? -Yes bud. I’m a one-man team.
-Just like when I play for Wales in real-life. -Well I don’t want to be a one man team.
-That’s why I asked Frenkie to play with me and not Donny van de Beek.
-Ha. -Argentina vs Denmark
-What the hell are you doing? -Just making sure you can
see the TV okay… -The dis-respect.
-But yes, that’s better thanks. -And the game is underway…
-Hey Gareth, good news. -What is?
-This is only four minutes long. -Like most of your appearances for LAFC.
-Ha. -Bale is through on goal…
-Tackled by Denzel Dumfries! -Yes!
-Wow - a right back who can actually defend!
-And we’re underway! -Well done for bringing
a defibrillator for Christian. -That’s not for me.
-Then who’s it for… -Hi Lionel
-Mario Gotze? -You!
-Argh - argh… -Cody Gakpo can make it 1-0…
-Shoot Frenkie! -Wide!
-HA! It’s like he’s playing in clogs. -Sort your shooting out Frenkie - or I’ll
be making you take a pay cut… -HAHAHAHA!
-I’d like to see you try. -Denmark have beaten the offside trap…
-Come on, stay with me Lionel -Stand clear…
-GOAL! -Denmark lead 1-0!
-Where am I? -Leave this to me…
-The scores are still level… -One second guys…
-What the hell are you doing Gareth? -It’s almost extra-time
-Just checking what the buttons are for a bicycle kick…
-Don’t even think about it -And the final whistle goes…
Argentina 28 Denmark 1 -Vamos!
-Lisandro - perhaps you went a little too far? -They don’t call me the butcher for nothing…
-Goal! -No!
-Get in there! -Bale scores an incredible bicycle kick!
-Unlucky lads. -Come on Frenkie, we can still save this…
-And the final whistle goes… -No! Getting beat by Wales?
This is more embarrassing than Euro 96. -He plays for Barcelona, what did you expect?
-Gareth has a point… -Anyone for a game of PGA?
-Germany vs Croatia -How is the ankle Timo?
-It’s almost as broken as the FIFA series -Ha.
-Let’s go boys! -One minute - just making some subs
-You’re dropping me? -Do you want us to win or not?
-It had better not be for Kai Havertz -It’s not.
-Miroslav Klose? Uhoh -Don’t worry Luka - leave this to me!!!
-Brazil Uruguay -Good luck Luis!
-If you win I break one of your vertebrae -WHAT? Er, Antony, can we swap seats please?
-Let’s go guys! -Germany kick off…
-TO VICTORY! -You don’t stand a chance Croatian Mr Bean!
-Croatian Mr Bean?! -DEJAN!
-RED CARD! -DEJAN!
-Ha! -Oops.
-Darwin - why the hell are you standing still? -DARWIN! Fine, I’ll go it alone…
-Uruguay are in… -NO!
-He must score! -NO!!!!
-NACIONAL! -What?
-NACIONAL! -Sobs
-But he’s been tackled! -YES!
-NACIONAL! MY BOYHOOD CLUB! PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW!
-Suck on my dark arts… -Germany are on the attack!
-Thou shall not pass! -No Dejan!
-Penalty -DEJAN!
-HA! -Oops
-And a red card! -DEJAN!
-HAHAHA! -Oops
-Nacional…Nacional…
-Brazil can take the lead… -Pass it…
-GOAL! -Yippee!
-Nacional… -Lovren scores!
-YES! -Own goal!
-Dejan! -HAHAHA!
-Ooops -They’re
in again -Focus Antony!
-WEEEEEEEE!!! -He shoots! 12-0!
-EASY! EASY! EASY! -Dejan!!!
-HAHAHA -That’s
another red card for Croatia. And the game has been suspended. Germany win!
-Ooops. -Don’t worry Dejan,
I’m sure that woeful performance won’t have put the Barcelona scouts off.
-And the final whistle goes! -YES!!! Let’s get out of here
before he breaks my back… -You let your country down!
-What?! -You let your country down!
-GET HIM! -What?
-ARGH!!!! -England
Senegal -God save our gracious King
- long live our noble King -France Poland
-Who the hell are you? -Matty Cash - Poland born and bred.
-Well, I was born and raised in Slough in England - but my mum’s Polish.
-My dad was a wrestler - it doesn’t mean I can turn up in spandex at the Royal Rumble
-WOH!
-I got this Matty Cash from Slough… -SEND HIM VICTORIOUS!!!
-It’s 2 on 1 -PASS! PASS!
-Okay! -Saved!
-I said pass!!! -See… it’s not nice when someone
goes back on their word is it? -GOD SAVE OUR KING!!!
-Can we start the game now? -Team Harry - let’s go!
-Ow. Oh me bum. -They’re through
-PASS! PASS! -Saved!
-NEXT TIME - I DEMAND YOU PASS! -Stop speaking to me like one of your PSG slaves!
-Saved! -Wait a minute.. Is that Kepa
Arrizabalaga in goal? -Er, no
-Yes it is! -He’s Spanish!
-Who’s been editing the squads? -No
-Benzema has it… -PASS! PASS!
-He passes… goal! -YES!
-GOAL! KYLIAN MBAPPE! What a substitution by the French player manager!
-Where did Karim go? -Karim is now in Qatar. Working in construction.
-Senegal, you’re officially kicked out for editing the squads.
-But - -Kicked out! England go through to the quarter
finals -YES!
-Vamos! -GOD SAVE OUR GRACIOUS KING…
-And the final whistle goes! -VIVE LA FRANCE!
-Shoot… -Hi-5 Paul!
-OW! Oh, I think it’s broken. -NO!
-Portugal Serbia -May the best team with the
best striker of all time win. -Hey guys
-what do STDs and Serbians have in common?
-Go away Thomas… -They create a lot of ITCHES
-You know? -MitrovIC?
-VlahovIC? -TadIC? KostIC? JovIC?
-OW! -Haha.
-Son of a bitch. Ha. -Belgium Spain
-Sergio Ramos? Ha. This is the only World Cup you’ll be involved in this year…
-WHAT DID YOU SAY LAKAKA! -LAKAKA?!
-ARGH!!!!!!! -SENOR RED CARD!!!
-NO!!! -Er Cristiano, maybe it’s a
better idea to let me be player 2? -GOAL!
-And maybe it isn’t… -Woh - Ronaldo has skills…
-To be fair, he’s had a lot of spare time to practise lately
-Ha -Ow!
-I’M OUT OF HERE! -STOP COPYING ME!
-Disqualify them immediately for killing Senor Red Card!
-Sorry Sergio but no… I’m going to focus on the football and sweep this death under the carpet.
-It’s what FIFA would want. -THEN I QUIT!
-Come on Senor Red Card, let’s go and get you some sellotape
-Belgium are through to the quarter finals! -YES!
-And I didn’t even have to dive in the box to win us a penalty!
-And the final whistle goes… -No.
-Unlucky gentlemen. But trying to beat me is as futile as trying to kill Homelander.
-Homelander? You mean Mauro Icardi? Oh
no, that’s home-wrecker! HA -OW!!!
-Haha. -Just 3 more
games to go until the inevitable Portugal vs Argentina 442oons World Cup final cash-in.
-Join us on Sundayfor the Quarter Finals of The 442oons FIFA23 e-World Cup
-Who will be crowned world champions?
-Not Uruguay -ARGH!