Hocus Pocus 2 would have had a much different rating if the Sanderson sisters had sung the
real lyrics to this Elton John banger.
From vegans to virgins, the witchy sequel is a cauldron of adult jokes.
The opening scene of "Hocus Pocus 2" is a bit of a prequel to the Sanderson sisters'
origin story.
In 1653 Salem, a young Winifred is causing quite the fuss in her puritanical town and
is banished by Reverend Traske.
She and her sisters, Mary and Sarah, escape to the forbidden forest, where they are greeted
by the Mother Witch who gives Winifred a book of spells for her 16th birthday.
Kids will find this scene funny and spooky, but adults will flip out the minute the Mother
Witch arrives and they realize she's played by "Ted Lasso" star Hannah Waddingham.
Adult fans may also remember Waddingham for a drastically different role as Septa Unella
in "Game of Thrones."
Either way, kids aren't likely to know why the Mother Witch looks so familiar to the
adults in the room.
The sequel's new trio of friends consists of best friends Becca, Izzy, and their friend,
Cassie, who they've lost touch with since she started dating the town jock, Mike.
While the original "Hocus Pocus" bullies were pretty stock characters, Mike is a little
more layered.
He first comes off as a bit dense, teasing Becca and Izzy about their "witchery" but
later expresses genuine remorse when he finds out they thought he was being mean.
Earlier in the film, before Mike sees the light, Becca gets back at him in science class
by whispering what he thinks is a curse.
Only adults will realize she's listing off a vegan shopping list.
"Tempeh, soyrizo, aquafaba, garbanzo, cacao, spirulina, crimini, seitan!"
Mike thinks she said "Satan" and freaks out.
Unless your kids love reading the ingredients list at vegan restaurants, this joke will
likely fly right over their heads.
The Sanderson sisters' home is now a magic and oddities shop owned by amateur magician
Gilbert the Great.
He recounts the original film's story to a handful of parents and children, catching
the audience up on the first film's plot and dropping a few knowing jokes for the adult
crowd.
He warns that if a virgin lights the black flame candle on Halloween, the Sanderson sisters
will return to wreak havoc on Salem again.
An inquisitive youngster in the front row asks Gilbert,
"What's a virgin?"
"That is a person who has never lit a candle."
Anyone with kids will tell you that these "I'll tell you when you're older" questions
pop up frequently during family movie nights.
Compared to the original, which is chock full of questionable jokes, "Hocus Pocus 2" lessens
the emphasis on virgins, no doubt to the relief of the parents watching it.
Becca and Izzy go into the forbidden forest to perform their annual Halloween ritual with
what they think is a fake black flame candle.
Unbeknownst to them, it is real.
Once lit, the candle unleashes the near three-decades-dormant witches, and their return is just as iconic
as the first time.
The ground cracks open with a red glow, lightning strikes, and they even black out the moon.
When the lights come back up, Bette Middler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy appear
and unleash a hilarious song and dance.
The song choice is "The Witches are Back," a playful and kid-friendly rendition of Elton
John's "The B—h is Back."
The randomness of the song is called out by Izzy twice, first when she says she doesn't
know what to do, but she "literally can't stop watching them," and again when the girls
are running from the singing trio and she asks, "Who are they performing for?"
It's a wink to the audience that breaking into a song is ridiculous.
The filmmakers know it, and they also know that fans will love it.
Given one of the most iconic scenes from the original is when Bette Middler sings a witchy
remix of "I Put a Spell on You," we'd welcome even more musical numbers if part three ever
flies our way.
Once cornered by the witches, Becca and Izzy think on their feet and claim to be 40-year-old
witches.
"We eat young souls all the time."
They also tell the Sandersons that the sisters are their idols.
Flattery will get you everywhere with Winifred and company.
They further convince the witches that they no longer have to brew potions.
They head off to Walgreens to consume all the youthful energy they can find.
From confusing fluorescent lights with a witch in another coven to being terrified of automatic
doors to the return of the iconic head-swivel walk from the original, this entire sequence
is a joke-a-minute for adults.
The real treat comes from the multiple mistaken delicacies they find in the skincare aisle.
Winifred sips a lotion called "Baby Face,"
"Delicious, floral with a woodsy finish."
Mary holds up a face mask and thinks it's a child's face while gleefully nibbling.
The physical comedy will keep the kiddos laughing, but the wordplay and fish-out-of-water gags
will have the parents howling.
As with any sequel, there are bound to be callbacks and Easter eggs a-plenty.
"Hocus Pocus 2" does not disappoint.
Modern-day Salem, now a town full of Sanderson superfans, is meta to the max thanks to the
massive cult following "Hocus Pocus" has built over the years.
Eagle-eyed fans will find countless nods to the 1993 film, but we've narrowed down a few
of our favorites.
"Hocus Pocus 2" features perfect casting for the young witches and even recreates their
calming circle when they feel vexed.
The youngsters recite "soothing thoughts" like the smell of mud and the reverend's scream
that are toned down from those of their adult selves.
Is it because they haven't grown into full-blown baddies yet, or is Disney lightening the original's
darker edges?
The Sandersons' home, which has been turned into a mystic souvenir shop, is filled with
visual gags as well.
The cauldron used to mix the potion that turned Thackery Binx into a talking cat is now a
bin of stuffed black cats.
The witches get upgraded modes of transportation, too.
Most notably, Mary receives a pair of robot vacuum cleaners to replace her traditional
upright, and her awkward sky skating is hysterical.
Later, Winifred subtly breaks the fourth wall when she sees the original film's Gary and
Penny Marshall scene playing on TV.
The flash mob possessed by the Sandersons' latest catchy song has distinct choreography
reminiscent of Michael Jackson's "Thriller," and there's many more hidden jokes in the
film.
Another setting loaded with visual gags and puns is the Salem Scare Fest.
You'll have to pause multiple times to catch everything, so we'll do our best to list the
more adult-skewed jokes.
Various booths feature Halloween puns like "A Haunt Mess," "Lifestyles of the Witch and
Famous," and a baked goods stand called "Eerie-sistable."
There's also a barbecue booth, "Bone Appetit and Grave E," and a bar where you can "Lift
Your Spirits."
The Mayor raves about "Sandy's Candy Cauldron," a nod to Disney World's "Candy Cauldron" confectionary
shop.
"You have to have one of her caramel apples.
It will, it will change your life."
The Sanderson sisters misinterpreting the festivities are another gleeful source of
chuckles for grown-ups.
Mary sees two men bobbing for apples and comments,
"They're drowning a man.
How charming!"
Another vendor is dressed as a witch, selling "poison" apples.
Winifred smirks and advises her,
"Oh, thou must never announce that they're poisoned, sister.
No one will eat them if they think they're deadly.
Amateur."
When the Sanderson sisters take the stage, they unwittingly enter a costume contest based
on them, featuring a trio of young girls, a husband and wife with their daughter, a
few adult women, and three drag queens.
These contestants are a meta-representation of the different generations and demographics
that have fallen in love with these sisters.
You may recognize "RuPaul's Drag Race" cast members Ginger Minj, Kornbread, and Kahmora
Hall.
These aren't just random cameos.
They represent the film's acknowledgment of the queer community's impact on the legacy
of "Hocus Pocus."
According to Rolling Stone, the original film "put a spell on the drag community."
Countless "Hocus Pocus" drag shows popped up around the country in the years following
its release.
Clair Voyance, a drag queen from Orange County, told Rolling Stone,
"Regardless of where you are in the world, if you go to a gay bar during Halloween, you
will find three drag queens: one with a blonde wig, one with a red wig, and one with a black
updo.
They're going to be performing 'I Put a Spell On You," and it's going to make you want to
scream and throw your $1 bills away."
This sequence is a love letter to the sisters' most avid fans.
The movie's final frames find the new coven of Becca, Izzy, and Cassie with the book of
spells mimicking the Sanderson sister's in-step walk and head swivel.
Just before the film cuts to black, a familiar bird swoops in, hinting the Mother Witch is
back and ready to train this next generation of witches.
We'll have to wait until part three to find out if Becca and her friends turn evil or
if they defy the whole child-eating part of witchcraft.
Either way, there's one more stinger to get fans excited.
After the credits roll, Cobweb hops on a shelf next to a box labeled "B.F.
Candle #2."
It's safe to assume this stands for "black flame candle #2," which means we haven't seen
the last of the Sanderson sisters.
Is this just a fun tag or are there hopes for more bewitching fun?
People magazine reports that Sarah Jessica Parker told Extra in an interview at the New
York premiere,
"Bette is already starting rumors.
I hitch my wagon to her star.
If she wants to do a third one ... No one says no to the Divine Miss M."