I know earlier I said it felt good to not talk about Trump,
and then I talked about Trump for like six minutes.
But what can I say?
Sometimes it feels good to let it all out.
But since before I even started the show,
people have been telling me I shouldn't talk about politics.
And why not? The whole world is politics.
It's not just about the President.
Politics affects everything. Gas prices, traffic.
I used to just do jokes about [bleep]-ing.
But [bleep]-ing is political, too!
Politicians make laws about birth control and abortion
and who can get married and who can't
and what age you're allowed to [bleep] a person.
And I think we all agree with one of those laws.
[ Laughter ]
Politics is everything.
If I can't talk about politics,
then what the [bleep] am I supposed to talk about?
Let me ask you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
What's the best line you've come up with
to embellish the truth, between Australia and America?
You mean like kangaroos jump down the street...
and all that type of stuff?
I did -- Many years ago, I told a girl
fingering is the way that we shook hands in Australia.
And...
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, now I have a kid, so it worked out fine.
What part of Australia are you from, sir?
-Perth. -You're from Perth?
I went to university in Perth. What do you do, mate?
I'm a digger operator...
Oh, you work out in the mines, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So you live out in the miner sites?
Yeah.
Right. Have you had sex with a miner?
[ Chuckles, clears throat ]
[ Laughter ]
No, I'm not gonna go there.
There might be a female miner that you had a fiddle with.
Yeah, so, it's safe to say you've had sex with a miner?
-It's safe to say, yes. -All right. Good to see you.
Politics!
See how political that is?
Hi. What's your name?
My name's Kayla.
-Stand up, Kayla. -I'm attempting.
You're a what?
I'm attempting. I've got some high heels on.
-My name is Kayla. -All right.
Got some high heels
and someone's bragging about owning shoes.
[ Laughter ]
Anyways, my question was, I was curious if you had
any honest advice as to how to get into the industry.
Leave entertainers alone and don't ask too many questions.
[ Laughter ]
Do you take drugs?
No. [ Laughs ]
What does that mean? What does that mean?
"A little bit of heroin if I'm trying to drop a LBs."
Could be that her father's sitting right here.
Ohh!
Are you the father? You're the mother?
Wow. It's gonna get awkward. All right?
-Yes. -This is going to get awkward.
Already has.
The problem is we did some sex jokes in the warm-up.
And you're the daughter, and then your parents
are sitting there, and you'll feel awkward.
But you have to remember
that this lady used to suck his [bleep] all the time.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Right?
He's applauding.
Lovely family, ladies and gentlemen.
[ Applause ]
Hi. I wanted to know if you'd started stand-up in America,
do you think that your style would be different?
I want to know if you'd have to swear less and make it less --
No, no, no, no. I brought [bleep] to America!
[ Laughter ]
In Australia, it's just a term of affection, right?
You would never call a woman a [bleep] in America. Right?
But this [bleep] doesn't mind, do ya?
[ Laughter ]
Political! It's all politics!
I just wanted to say you're doing a good job,
and you convinced my Reaganite grandpa
to never vote for Trump again, so thank you for that.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Is that a term? Reaganite? -It is a term here.
He went out and campaigned for him before he even won.
And he's been a Republican do or die.
And you know what? He doesn't like Trump anymore.
Because of my jokes?
I showed him a bunch of your jokes,
and he's like, "He makes a good point."
[ Cheers and applause ]
And that's why I talk about politics!