Most people look at fighting as a more barbaric sport than
something you do with your soul.
Me, it's very spiritual when I fight.
During that time when I'm in there, I'm in complete control of my life.
It's when I'm at my peace.
It's my sanctuary.
Fighting is my meditation.
My name is Joe Duarte. I'm a professional mixed martial arts fighter.
I was 11 Bravo.
With my job, my life was at risk all the time.
All of us guys in the Army
experienced those horrible situations that nobody would ever experience.
It changes your life completely.
It changes human beings, period.
They lose sight of how to feel sorry for somebody
and sympathy and stuff like that.
But anger! The anger is so overwhelming that it becomes uncontrollable
to the point where you end up doing things that
you feel like you black out.
Like, I've beat up people, I followed someone to their house, I've pulled a gun out.
I've chased somebody down on the main freeway, on the 805.
I followed a guy that almost hit me into a stop light and kicked the side of his door in.
I didn't even stop to think.
But I felt good hurting other people because I was hurting so bad inside
that taking it out on somebody else actually made me feel good.
Because I felt like, "Well, I'm not the only one hurting."
In my personal life with my wife, I'd get angry over really, really minuscule stuff.
And she would be like, "This is why you need to go get help."
And where I'm from, saying I need to go get help is like
someone slapping you in the face, you know?
I fought with her every single time.
And I knew that there was something wrong with me,
I just didn't want to accept it.
When I go home now, it's completely different from the way I used to be
because I'm so much more free, like, mentally.
I struggle sometimes, you know, get aggravated sometimes.
I have the tools now to deal with those issues, and that's the difference.
And now, when I'm happy and I'm sitting at home with my family,
and like last night, I was baking cookies with my daughter,
I realize and I'm grateful, it makes me grateful that I went to therapy
because I wouldn't have been able to enjoy those times, you know?
Those little things, those are the important things
that nobody else sees, you know?
And I think that with me sucking my pride up and being able to get therapy
really showed what kind of a champion I am.
Not the belt that I have around my waist, but that I was able to help myself
so that I live the rest of my life as a happier man.
And I'm still getting better, you know, that's the great part about it,
is that I can still get better.