MIKE CHET: Too early.
DARBY RICHARDS: What?
MIKE CHET: Mess [INAUDIBLE].
DARBY RICHARDS: This better not take long.
I had big plans for my one vacation day a year.
MIKE CHET: Oh, big plans like last year, where you just
pretended to clean the hallway outside the bridge and just
stared at Dark Lord a bunch?
DARBY RICHARDS: What?
That's not big plans?
MIKE CHET: That's basically working.
DARBY RICHARDS: It's cooler working though.
EDITH KINGPIN: What are you guys doing
in my holoroom meeting?
MIKE CHET: Don't look at us.
Whoever Officer Rourke is should be able to tell you
what's going on.
EDITH KINGPIN: Wait.
Did you say Rourke?
MIKE CHET: Yeah.
EDITH KINGPIN: As in Rebel Killer Rourke.
This can't be good.
DARBY RICHARDS: Yeah, I heard he sent his own deck crew on
the Defiler to the spice mines.
MIKE CHET: Why?
DARBY RICHARDS: I think he just wanted spice.
OFFICER ROURKE: Hello, Social Group 417, I'm Officer Rourke.
Please call me Emily.
EDITH KINGPIN: You're a woman.
OFFICER ROURKE: Last I checked.
Look, the stories you've heard about me aren't really as bad
as the seem.
Promise!
MIKE CHET: Are you going to send us to the spice mines?
OFFICER ROURKE: Don't be silly.
Your android friend Elle downloaded off the station
during the last attack.
I'm here to run you through some team building exercises
to help counteract any ill effects.
DARBY RICHARDS: You know that today is our one vacation day
a year, right?
OFFICER ROURKE: Trust me, these team building exercises
are so fun, that you won't even know that you're missing
your vacation, or that you are under orders to participate
and you're not allowed to leave this room until you do.
So Edith, the first holoprogram is all about you.
EDITH KINGPIN: Is that what I think it is.
OFFICER ROURKE: You all know that Edith has a special
insight when it comes to computers.
But, did you know that she also has very special insight
when it comes to people?
So much so that she's written a book about it.
EDITH KINGPIN: It was really never meant for anyone
else to see, so--
OFFICER ROURKE: You have an angelic voice, and your novel
is a work of art.
I've read it.
I think it's time that you shared it with everyone.
EDITH KINGPIN: OK, I will do this.
But only because the quicker we finish, the quicker we can
get back to our so far awesome vacation day.
So you two just shut up.
MIKE CHET: We haven't said anything.
EDITH KINGPIN: Oh, you will.
So let's just preemptively shut up.
This is actually my nightmare.
It was a dark and stormy nebula, and all across the
galaxy little children were asleep in their bed--
--the time for such lollygagging Mrs. Pennyworth,
hurry now to the kitchen--
--and suddenly Corporal Vinegar ran into the crowd and
headbutted each and every one of them--
--and with a whisper she finally got her wish and
turned into a horse.
OFFICER ROURKE: Bravo Edith oh, that was terrific.
Any questions from the group?
MIKE CHET: Is Corporal Vinegar also a horse?
DARBY RICHARDS: Are we to believe that Old Lady
Prumflutter would willingly sell the robot orphanage?
EDITH KINGPIN: Shut up.
MARF: Ugh, what are they doing in there reading novels?
[LAUGHS]
Probably not really reading novels.
WALMSLEY: Maybe they're acting them out.
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: Excuse me, is this the
line for the holoroom?
DENIS 4862: Yes, yes it is.
WALMSLEY: Hey dude, what's the deal?
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: The deal with what?
WALMSLEY: You just cut in line.
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: OK, I see where this confusion is
coming from.
I am Andalorian.
We are a binary species.
We only believe in the number zero and one.
MARF: Hey Dennis, you're going to cut in line like that?
DENIS 4862: Yeah pal, you're going to have to go to the end
of the line.
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: But you see, I am at
the end of the line.
Zero the front, and one the end.
DENIS 4862: What?
MARF:: Well, you're obviously not at the end.
There's people behind you.
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: Of course, you have your beliefs
and I'm sure they're just as valid as mine.
DENIS 4862: How do you explain the people behind you though?
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: Not everything can be explained.
There are many great mysteries in the universe.
DENIS 4862: Mysteries?
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: My child, have you ever heard of
the teachings of Binar?
MIKE CHET: Um, can we stop this?
I don't really want to be a hero, and I'm not that good at
talking to girls.
OFFICER ROURKE: Come on Mike--
I mean Private Dick Johnny Jules.
You can do it, one last try just--
tell me you'll take the case.
EDITH KINGPIN: Yeah, come on Mike.
DARBY RICHARDS: Hat racks can't talk.
EDITH KINGPIN: Shut up, paper boy.
OFFICER ROURKE: Edith, I'm sorry about forgetting to
program you a character OK, but just hang on in there.
MIKE CHET: I don't think I can do this.
First of all, I don't know what a private dick is?
To tell you the truth I thought
they were all privates.
Secondly, why is this desk made of trees?
OFFICER ROURKE: Mike, do you need your affirmation droid?
AFFIRMATION DROID: Mike you are good judge of character
and you have big muscles.
MIKE CHET: Where'd you get that?
OFFICER ROURKE: In your quarters.
It was under your bed.
AFFIRMATION DROID: You are a super fast runner and you look
good in shorts.
DARBY RICHARDS: You said it was a massage ball.
MIKE CHET: Well I guess I didn't want everybody
to know about it.
OFFICER ROURKE: Oh, maybe this one wasn't such a good idea.
EDITH KINGPIN: I love it.
DENIS 4862: So you're saying zero is like the void, the
nothingness, and the one is like the being, the self, the
somethingness--
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: Binar himself could
not have put it better.
You may very well be the Chosen One.
WALMSLEY: Well hey, Chosen One we're supposed to be at the
front of the line, not him.
DENIS 4862: Yeah, but like, if you think about it you're at
the front of your own line.
WALMSLEY: That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
DENIS 4862: Woah, right now you're
insulting our entire culture.
MARF: I am at the front of my own line.
But what am I in line for?
DENIS 4862: The answer to that question can only come from
your heart.
WALMSLEY: The holoroom.
We're all in line for the holoroom.
And then this Bozo came in and butted in front of all of us.
DENIS 4862: Woah, woah, woah, there's no
name calling in line.
WALMSLEY: That is not a rule.
MIKE CHET: Captain, there's a ship approaching.
DARBY RICHARDS: Oh, good our first catch of the day.
Fire all weapons.
EDITH KINGPIN: Weapons fired.
The ship took evasive action and now it's firing on us.
DARBY RICHARDS: OK, activate moving around please.
Move away from them.
EDITH KINGPIN: Their lasers shot at us and killed us,
Captain Darby.
DARBY RICHARDS: I get it.
This is one of those impossible tests
that can't be solved.
It's just to see how you react to stress.
OFFICER ROURKE: No actually, it's a very simple command
simulation.
In fact, I didn't know it could be failed.
EDITH KINGPIN: Don't you remember the first line of the
Crewman's Manual?
DARBY RICHARDS: [SCOFFS]
Yes.
Always be shooting.
OFFICER ROURKE: Darby didn't go to the Academy.
But you should have still received and read the
Crewman's Manual.
DARBY RICHARDS: They took the manual away from me because I
was not Crewman's Manual worthy.
OFFICER ROURKE: You are an excellent janitor.
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: A one and a two [SINGING]
We one--
DENIS 4862: [SINGING]
It is clear--
MARF: [SINGING]
If we're zeroes--
CHORUS: [SINGING]
No one's here.
MARF: No, you go lower--
WALMSLEY: Well I'm leaving.
You can do your Rocket Robin Hood program by yourself.
He was going to be the fair maiden, and I was going to be
Rocket Robin Hood.
Yeah, that's what was going to happen.
Now you have one less person in your line.
DENIS 4862: Wait, if she leaves, and we're still here
we must be zeroes.
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: Yes and that must mean we're not here.
MARF: If we're right here maybe we're somewhere else?
ANDALORIAN AMBASSADOR: You know, I run a secret casino
out of my quarters.
What do you say we engage in a little Andalorian roulette?
Every number is zero or one.
MARF: This guy is as sucker.
DENIS 4862: [LAUGHS]
Zero or one!
ALL: Zero or one!
Zero or one!
OFFICER ROURKE: I am so proud of you guys.
EDITH KINGPIN: Proud?
With all due respect sir, you systematically humiliated each
and every one of us.
OFFICER ROURKE: But I though you wanted all those things?
MIKE CHET: We do.
But some things you don't want to share with others.
DARBY RICHARDS: Yeah, so could we get back to what little
vacation we have left now please?
OFFICER ROURKE: Wait just one more.
Computer run holoprogram 14633.
That's not--
It didn't--
MIKE CHET: Why is one of your programs us?
EDITH KINGPIN: Do I really stand like that?
DARBY RICHARDS: Yeah.
OFFICER ROURKE: I'm really sorry.
I've been studying you through your holographic counterparts.
I thought it would be a good way to get to know you better.
I wasn't ordered to put you through any
exercises, I just--
I'm the newest member of social group 417.
I just wanted to do something nice for you guys.
EDITH KINGPIN: It just um--
It's not the right approach with us.
MIKE CHET: Let's get out of here.
We've got six hours of our vacation left.
DARBY RICHARDS: Well, are you coming?
OFFICER ROURKE: Really?
DARBY RICHARDS: Yeah.
I mean, you're one of us now, right?
Trust me in this social group people screw up.
A lot.
COMPUTER: Holoroom reset.
Program Loaded.
HOLOGRAPHIC BRAD: Well hello there.
DARBY RICHARDS: Is this one yours?
OFFICER ROURKE: No.
MIKE CHET: Brad?
BRAD: What?
Are you guys holograms?
EDITH KINGPIN: No.
BRAD: Your loss.
EDITH KINGPIN: What?
Oh why?
DAVIN LENGYEL: Hi, I'm Davin.
We would love to make Space Janitors the video game.
But to get it started, we need your help, we need your vote.
Go to spacejanitors.com to get full details on the ideaBOOST
competition, or click on the link on your screen and vote
for Space Janitors the video game.