♪ Baby daddy, baby mama ♪
♪ Yo, who wants the drama ♪
(audience cheers)
- My baby's daddy is so successful.
- [Cast And Audience] How successful is he?
- He one of the main stars on Wild 'N Out.
Come here, Justina.
(audience cheers) (bell dings)
♪ Baby daddy, baby mama ♪
♪ Yo, who wants the drama ♪
- Justina's father slash baby daddy
is so racist.
- [Cast] How racist is he?
- He called the cops 'cause his shadow was black.
(audience laughing)
(buzzer ringing)
- [D-Wrek] That's stupid!
- Give me Justina!
(audience cheering)
- Hey, hey.
- Give me Cortez!
(audience cheering)
- Justina, ya ready?
- Ready!
- Little Head Cortez, ya ready?
- I'm ready.
- Wild out!
- I got glasses that's thicker than your ass.
(audience laughing)
- Cortez, you look like the (buzzing)
mosquito that started the Zika virus!
- Your skin color the same color as bacon
when it's thawed out.
(audience laughing)
- Cortez, you look like a bouncer at a preschool.
(audience jeering)
- You look like you got way too much testosterone
in your body and not enough estrogen.
(audience laughing)
- Cortez, when I look at you, all I hear is,
E.T.,
phone home!
(audience laughing)
- That's why they parted your hair the wrong way
and I can see all your tracks.
(audience cheering)
- Cortez,
Cortez!
- You,
out!
- [In Unison] Got Damned!
(audience cheering)
- Give me Justina.
- Aye!
(audience cheering)
- Give me Karlous Miller.
(audience cheering) (indistinct chatter)
- Wild out!
- Karlous, you look like the uncle at the cookout
that kill it on the grill,
but no one wants their little kids around.
- Girl, if you don't get your God dammed truck stop hooker
looking-ass up outta here.
- Karlous, you look like the manager at Jiffy Lube.
(Justina imitates an engine backfiring)
It's not the transmission, it's the alternator!
- Girl, if you don't get your
God damned adult Wendy's-looking ass up outta here.
(audience laughing)
- Karlous, if you don't get your,
I think I'm the man but I live in Chico Bean's
shadow, up ass outta here.
(audience cheering)
- If you don't get your God damned,
I'm a white woman
but I wear more weave than B. Simone,
looking-ass up outta here.
- Karlous, if you don't get your,
I'ma be the first one to have a 'Wild 'N Out' pension,
up ass outta here!
- Justina, if you don't get your God damned,
I've been smoking cigarettes since 11th grade,
looking-ass up outta here!
(audience laughing)
- You, out!
- [Cast] Got Damned!
(bell dinging) (audience cheering)
- Girl, that ass about as flat as a board.
(dinging) (audience laughing)
- [Nick] Come on, come on!
- This really was Justina booty shaped like.
(audience laughing)
(dinging) (audience cheering)
- Aye, yo, Justina.
There goes your ass right there.
(audience laughing)
(dinging) (audience laughing)
- What?
(audience cheering) - Your scene is,
the winner's podium.
- All right, this is the Flat Ass Olympics
and we have Maddy at number one.
Maddy, could I have you come down please?
- [Cast Member] Maddy, you don't have to go up there.
- [Conceited] Justina, at number two.
- At least I'm not number one.
- Kelsey, you're number three.
Let's go.
(audience laughing) (indistinct chatter)
- [Cast Member] Why Kelsey come out.
- The scene is, an extinction level event.
(audience cheering)
- This is what my vagina felt like after
DC Young Fly hit it.
(audience jeering) (bell dinging)
- I just wanna make this clear.
It was already burning before I got in here.
(audience cheering) (bell dinging)
- Your scene is,
in a shoe store.
- Gah damn.
Hey Justina, all these boxes got dildos in them?
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
- Your scene is a trailer park.
- I know I don't belong around these parts,
but can Justina come out and play?
(audience laughing) (bell dinging)
- Your next scene is at a pet store.
- Uh, Justina,
what kind of food you said you want again?
(audience laughing) (bell dinging)
- Your scene is,
a funeral casket.
- Damn man,
here lies Justina Walls, man.
That is crazy.
- And they use their tracks to make the drapes.
- Damn.
(audience laughing) (bell dinging)
- Your answer is,
lines that sound racist, but really aren't.
(telephone ringing)
- Who this?
Yo, my name's Justina Valentine.
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
(telephone ringing) - Who it is?
Nick, you ain't do it right.
Her voice sound like this.
(imitating chainsaw)
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
- All right ATL.
My man Akon is so fly.
- [In Unison] How fly is he?
- Before Akon, no convict could do it.
He signed T-pain and Lady Gaga to Konvict Muzik.
When he is in the room,
I don't see another man.
But will you bring this white girl home to the motherland?
(audience cheering)
(bell dinging)
- [DC] No, no,
no.
(audience laughing)
- Stay your ass right there in Nebraska.
- Bitch, I'm from Jersey.
Hey Winnie, you are so beautiful girl.
We actually have a lot in common.
Because, everyone tells me that I should be a supermodel.
- (Huffs) April Fools.
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
- April Fools.
You got the body of an iPhone.
Ain't nobody you (indistinct).
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
- Come on, bruh you ain't modeling nothing.
(audience laughing)
- Oh boy, oh (beeps).
(audience laughing)
- Chico, you right this Marsalas is crazy.
(Beep) (beep).
(Chico laughing)
- [DC] (Throat clears) hot damn.
This how Justina talk.
Gah damn.
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
(audience cheering)
- Hey NeNe, how you doing, babe?
You do such a good job on Housewives.
And watching you actually made me think
that I would be great for New Jersey Housewives.
I mean, I think I have all the components.
You know,
I work hard.
I'm talented.
I look good.
I'm thick as hell.
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
- NeNe, you don't think I'm thick?
- [Chico] Ay Emmanuel,
Justina built like a Grand Theft Auto stripper.
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
(audience cheering)
- Okay.
- Yeah, see Jordin,
when I was growing up,
I was really good at gymnastics.
Like really good.
No, no, I'm for real.
I was really good.
And then one day,
my coach sat me down.
And he was like,
Justina, it's just not gonna work out
because you're way too thick.
He was like, how you gonna flip in the air
with all that ass?
You're not even gonna be able to get it into the leotard.
He's like, it's gonna be flying cakes.
(audience laughing)
♪ You wish you had a time machine ♪
(audience and Chico laughing)
(buzzer ringing)
(audience clapping)
- Normally, when we have on our Wild 'N Out costumes
and wardrobe, I feel like I'm very covered up.
But today I feel like you can actually see my true figure
and how thick I really am.
Like all this cake batter.
- [DC] You ain't got no damn ass, girl.
You got on a see-through and
we see right through your ass.
(audience laughing) (bell dinging)
- Miss Juicy, you are holding it down, baby.
Now Nick,
Miss Juicy is exactly what I see when
I look in the mirror.
I mean a strong, thick.
- [Emmanuel] Didn't we already go over this?
Nah if your booty growing, - Beautiful.
- It's growing on the inside.
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
(audience jeering)
- [Nick] What, when?
- Okay, listen Nick.
Okay.
♪ I'm on the black team ♪
♪ Usually I'm on the red ♪
♪ The team is the same color of my head ♪
♪ I keep rapping and rapping and rapping ♪
♪ And rapping for no reason ♪
♪ I've been rapping for like four or five seasons ♪
- [Nick] Justina!
(audience laughing) (bell dinging)
- Red squad!
♪ You got on a red waist trainer ♪
♪ I ain't never seen that ♪
♪ Real talk ♪
♪ Listen and I mean that ♪
♪ Look ♪
♪ I'ma tell you it looking scary ♪
♪ You look like a nasty ass scraw-berry. ♪
- Scrawberry!
♪ (beep) in the bottom of the bag ♪
(buzzer buzzes)
- [Justina] Chyna,
real quick, baby.
♪ Yo, yo ♪
♪ Ay yo Chyna ♪
♪ You ain't beat for this battling ♪
♪ You win a bag ♪
♪ The least famous Kardashian ♪
♪ With all that plastic ♪
♪ Who's gonna smash ♪
♪ Your body recyclable ♪
♪ But your career is trash ♪
(audience jeering)
- But you ain't got no ass.
(audience jeering) (bell dinging)
- Cut that (beep) off.
Hell nah.
Justina,
you ain't finna go at my team!
I can't believe you did this.
Your (bleep) look like the underground Atlanta.
Cause everything down there going out of business.
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
- [Justina] Ay, well.
DC, I'm the bomb baby.
You need that spark.
Your booty (bleep)'s
as wide as Piedmont park.
(audience jeering)
(buzzer buzzes)
- Should have got some ass shots.
And I'm gonna knock at the door.
Look at your nose (beep).
It's not even yours.
(audience laughing)
(bell dinging)
- She only can breathe out the left side.
Cause the doctor (bleep) up on the right.
(audience laughing) (bell dinging)
- DC, you don't want that smoke.
Every day you doing (squeals)
cause you ain't got no joke.
(bell dings) - I do got a joke.
You just gotta listen.
You probably can't hear me cause your voice
keep (gargles).
(audience laughing) (bell dinging)
(air horn honking)
- Let me get Justina.
Here we go.
♪ Justina let's have a heart to heart ♪
♪ You got the voice of Marge Simpson ♪
♪ And the body of Bart ♪
♪ Me in Atlanta and I immediately thought of you ♪
♪ That outfit, damn that's an affordable prostitute ♪
(audience jeering)
(bell dinging)
- [DC] I know you ain't talking.
Uh-huh, looking real sloppy.
Look, she a thot.
That's why she got lips all over her body.
- [Man] Ooh.
(audience jeering) (bell dinging)
- I said Justina what you coming at my team for?
I'm kicking back a little off the Casamigos.
You know I sip the Henny.
You know that I sipping the Tito's.
But no matter how drunk I get,
I ain't (bleep) no Hot Cheeto.
(audience jeering)
(bell dinging)
- [Charron] Let me get Justina.
(audience cheering)
- Listen Justina.
You went on Chico and Karlous' podcast.
You keep telling them lies.
You don't deserve to be on 85 South,
just cause you went south on 85 guys.
You banged. (bell dings)
- Ay, you banged.
Ay yo.
Ay yo, you banged DC, E-man,
you brought it further.
There's beef in your buns.
It's not a burger.
You let the little homie kill your box.
That's a Bobby Shmurda.
(audience jeering) (bell dinging)
- Yo, this redhead needs to leave the stage.
You only hit the diseases.
Where DNA is rearrange.
The only thing that spreads quicker
than COVID-19,
is Justina's legs.
(audience jeering)
♪ Justina, when you grab the mic ♪
♪ It do get scary ♪
♪ But you look like Mr. Nigel Thornberry ♪
♪ One more thing ♪
♪ Let me say (bleep) it ♪
♪ We may look like a ball sack ♪
♪ But you wouldn't hesitate to (bleep) it ♪
(audience jeering) (bell dinging)
- Mommy told me to go against you.
I said no,
because you not even worthy.
Too many manly features.
Are you sure that you girly?
Your box trash,
your butt's flat.
You just look dirty.
So stop gassing yourself up.
That's illegal in Jersey.
(audience cheering)
- Hey yo Justina.
I ain't gonna lie,
you the queen of this (beep).
But the only reason you on here
cause you probably (bleep) with Nick.
I'm surprised you didn't get pregnant,
cause you been popping Plan-Bs.
But now you stuck on here cause you ain't got no plan B.
(audience jeering)
- Okay.