Hey, you're having dinner with us tomorrow night.
- I am? - Yeah.
Sam and I love Italian food, so we made a reservation at Pint's.
I love Pint's!
Gibbys are not invited.
Then no corn juice for you.
Who's ready to see the treasures that await me
inside my super cool safe?
Dude, you're never getting that thing open.
Am too!
Socko got me a special C-4 explosive charge
from his cousin, Boomer!
Fire in the hole!
- Here we go. - Oh boy.
C-4?
[screaming]
Ah ha! It opened!
Do you guys realize what we can do with this boat?
Sell it and pay somebody to get the cat out of the wall.
That cat's not still in the wall.
[meowing]
[grunting]
Game over.
Mom, I don't have a swimsuit.
Which is why I just stopped at Mall Mart
and bought you this.
[laughing]
Did I do okay?
- Oh, yeah. - Yeah, you were great.
You, sir, are an excellent assistant.
And Sam doesn't give out a lot of compliments.
Usually it's insults followed by beatings.
Well, I-I'm psyched to be working with you guys.
Hey, can I get the recipe for this tuna salad ball?
Absolutely.
Good. I love this.
Hi.
I just wanted you girls to know that I won the bike.
And because I am a grown up... I forgive you...
for behaving so rudely to me.
Wait a second.
Why are you guys staring at me?
You said, "Wait a second."
Oh, yeah. Uh, there's four of us and one of Nora,
so let's just take the remote away from her.
[laughing, music playing]
So cute.
[music playing]
Wah.
Alright, I gotta get going.
Do you want me to bring you lunch later?
Nah, I got ribs left over from last night.
You ate my ribs?
I made the bones into a necklace!
Mom! You tried to vacuum my ear while I was sleeping?
Please, let me finish.
No, you treat me like a child,
and I'm not gonna put up with it anymore!
What does that mean?
I'm moving out!
Spencer!
Hi, what's up, kiddo? Oh!
Hey, what's up
with all the squeezing and squishing?
I missed you.
And our house is back.
'Kay, I have no idea what you're--
Hey, Spencer,
do you want us to help you take that tree
- down to the garbage? - Yeah.
Hey, I grabbed your mail for you.
How'd you get in our mailbox?
Yeah, you need the key.
No, you don't.
Hey, let's go rehearse one more time
- before the show tonight. - Freddie's not here yet.
Give me your cell phone.
What are you doing?
Texting Freddie... and... sent.
Sit.
And... sit.
[quacking]
Come on, Quackers, sit.
We're not putting this duck on iCarly.
Why not?
'Cause he has no talent.
Well, what am I gonna do with him?
Take him back to the pond.
What? [quacking]
And just let all the other ducks laugh at him
'cause he failed at show business?
Okay, iCarly viewers, it's time to vote.
- But, I-- - Right here at iCarly.com.
Just look under the pics of Spencer and Miss Ackerman
- and vote makeup... - Or break up.
Can I say one more thing before they vote?
No. Sit down.
You didn't need to fire Principal Franklin.
He rocks at his job.
I don't need children telling me my business.
- You need someone. - Easy.
Now get to class, Pucket.
Yeah, you too, Benson.
Were we talking to you two?
So you're gonna break up with him?
I don't know.
I don't want to be a terrible person.
Should I just keep dating him?
Why not?
Hey, and maybe you can double date.
You know, you, him,
Willy, the walrus and Peggy, the penguin.
Peter, the penguin.
Okay, last week we promised to show you guys
an original Wade Collins' music video.
But then we learned that Wade Collins
is a big old jerk face.
A raging jerk-a-holic!
Worst guy ever.
We hate him with all our heart.
He's a bad dude.
Our friends are dying for these penny tees.
We should make 'em, sell 'em,
bank a few hundred thousand, quit school
and open that restaurant I've been talking about.
Why isn't
I deleted it.
Why would you do that?
I don't like the playlist menu cluttered up
with a bunch of shows I'm not into.
[stammering]
Do you guys remember Wade Collins?
That obnoxious hob-knocker from America sings?
One might call him hob-noxious.
Oh, Carly.
You guys want some advice from me or anything?
- No, thanks. - We're good.
Yeah, fine.
That's just fine.
- Why are you mad? - I'm not mad.
I just... feel kinda left out.
You know? I'm just, just sitting here.
You counting those screws?
Yeah, great.
But I feel like I have a little bit more value.
You know, more to offer than... counting-- Forget it.
Who's Jackson Colt?
[both] What?!
And why the simultaneous "what?!"
Jackson Colt's like one
of the top ten fighters in the MMA.
Oh, yeah, I've heard of that guy.
What did his son say?
Uh, that his dad's fighting in Seattle this--
Move! [screaming]
I'll bet you I can read
by the end of the week.
- Don't bet. - It's a bet.
And they bet.
And shall we bet the ushe?
- Don't bet the ushe. - The ushe it is.
They bet the ushe.
I want you to read your text messages out loud
to the whole class or I will.
[sighing]
"Just deal with the fact
that Steven might be cheating on you."
"Will you stop saying that?"
"I... love him."
Stupid baby.
Hey, easy there, Slammy.
What's wrong?
I still can't get that baby to laugh.
- I want pie. - No, no, no, no, no.
No pie.
- Why? - We're trying to make it last
until Mr. Galini's out of the hospital.
Well. [sighing]
Mm.
Well, then, how come Sam gets some?
Sam doesn't get any-- [screaming]
So tell me about you, Kevin.
Well, I collect fishing lures, uh, my bedtime is 9:30,
and girls usually don't like me because I have an odd odor.
You know, I think you might be perfect for Carly.
What's in the box?
Oh, just some photos.
- Of doughnuts. - No!
Me.
[laughing]
What? [laughing]
[laughing] It's just a funny pose.
It's a natural pose.
'Course it is. I do this all the time. Don't you, Carls?
Totally. I find it both natural and not stupid looking.
And a toast to Cal.
[cheering]
Good going, Carls.
Now, you don't have to go to that root and berry retreat.
Which all the kids say is an awesome time.
And they don't say it sarcastically.
A lot of you guys have been following the fight
that's been going on between us and Fred.
Yeah, well, guess what.
The fight is over!
- Over! - Yeah, baby.
30 finished penny tees.
- What? - No way.
And 30 more in that box. And 30 more in that box.
- Seriously? - Seriously.
Sam!
Oh, man, she's unconscious.
Hey, what's wrong with Sam?
I don't think she's breathing, but I don't know what to do.
You better take over.
It had the head of a beaver and the body of a raccoon.
- The beavecoon. - Yes!
And it looked at me... and went...
[hissing]
There's no such thing
- as a beavecoon. - Is too!
There's no such thing as Bigfoot.
Then how many penny tees you guys make so far today?
46.
Wow, not what Mama wanted to hear.
You guys should be up to 50, at least.
Look, you promised us lunch by two o'clock.
Fine, lunch is over there.
[cheering]
What prank did you play on Sam?
[Sam] Open the door!
Call the police.
[Sam] Open this door!
Leave me alone, Sam! We're even!
[screaming]
Come here, Benson!
You handcuffed her to Gibby?
She put a dead fish in my locker.
Gibby's way worse than a dead fish!
My mom thinks I'm awesome.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday,
he stays in town for three days, then leaves on Friday.
- How did he do it? - How did he do it?
Come on!
[fighting]
[screaming]
[fighting]
Would you stop it?!
So, there's lots of different kinds.
- Uh-huh. - Like, you could get 40 grit,
- or 60 grit, 80 grit. - Wow.
And if you want super fine,
you can go on up to 150 grit or even 200.
I get it.
There's all different kinds of sandpaper.
We started our own penny tee business.
- Your own? - What?
Yep, look around.
You little punks.
I'll make a new video.
Good. Now, what did you break with your baseball?
- Nothing. - Did you kill our goldfish?
Yes.
You climb up that ladder all the way up to that pipe.
Then you scooch along the pipe
'til you get right over that 20 dollar bill there.
I scooch?
And when Spencer bends over to pick up the 20,
I'm gonna yell, "Gibby!"
Then you drop down, right on to Spencer's back.
So this Nora girl, what she look like?
Here.
Why is she sleeping on the floor?
She's unconscious.
You do the Vulcan squeezy thing?
Uh-huh.
- What's that on her stomach? - A chicken.
Okay, Sam and I dismantled
this peanut butter and jelly sandwich
that Sam took from some kid at school.
Yeah, I'm the kid.
[both] Gibby!
Now, our awesome technical producer...
Fredaloopay.
has installed a special camera that will constantly record
this sandwich over the next four weeks.
Mm, 24/7.
You can't just hire a new intern without our okay.
You guys hired Cort without my okay.
Well, one intern's enough.
It doesn't cost anything to hire Ashley.
So, what does it matter to you?
Hey, Freddie.
Someone left this purse lying around.
Is there lost and found I should take it to?
Uh-oh. Here comes big, sweaty trouble.
Hey, look here. You got the whole iCarly gang,
two ballerinas and their tech stooge.
She called me a tech stooge.
I needed Carly out of the house so I could tell you guys
that you're gonna help me redo her entire room
with this insurance check I got from Bob.
$82,000?
- Yeah-huh. - How'd you get so much?
My great-grandmother's bezel was diamond-encrusted!
- What does that mean? - I don't know.
Tell us what happened.
[panting]
Nevel figured out it was you...
[panting]
and you got chased by security guards.
[panting]
Carly's upstairs talking to Marta right now.
- So?! - She's gonna get her to leave.
[chuckles] Oh, you don't know Marta.
Nothing will get rid of her.
Now, this is a very special iCarly tonight
- because my dad... - Our dad.
- He's both our dads. - We're siblings.
They know that.
My dad, Colonel Steven Shay of the United States Air Force
is watching iCarly live tonight from a submarine
just off the coast of Alaska.
I don't think
you should give away his position.
I meant the coast of Nebraska.
Yes!
Deep in the Nebraskan ocean.
Hey, hey, did you guys save me a meatball?
Sure did. Heads up.
Oh!
Thanks.
So, uh, what dare?
An iCarly fan dared Carly to wear a bunny suit
and offer to brush people's teeth
for a dollar.
Man. Your web show's weird.
We're gonna start off by having Gibby
sit in some sushi, and then he will try to identify
what kind of fish it is.
Fingers crossed for salmon.
Uh, actually, we're gonna do something else first.
Okay, then I'm going back to the men's room.
You sure seem to like my face last night
when you had your lips all over it.
That wasn't me, Dipthong.
You and Melanie kissed?
Man! How long are you two gonna keep trying to trick me
with the whole Melanie thing?
I told you, I'm not that gullible.
I know there's no Melanie.
And iCarly award for best iCarly award builder,
and best big brother of all time goes to... Spencer!
[cheering]
We've got our bit for the iWeb Award.
Yeah, we do.
So, what's next?
Well, if you guys are interested,
I went online and found all kinds
of interesting facts about Japan.
Well, tell us.
[booing]
[laughing]
Quit it! Stop laughing!
But it's horrible.
No, it's not.
It's pretty bad, kid.
Okay, we're outta time.
- Well, it's only-- - Bye!