'People who walk on Indian grave die.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World
'Oh no, here we go again'
This week we're checking out Giant from the Unknown
'I'm looking for a giant'
A specific giant?
'One that's been dead for over five hundred years'
Which begs one obvious question
'Why do they refer to this Vargas as a giant'
'Well, fragmentary accounts of the period relate that he was a man of extraordinary size.'
Yeah, come to think of it that was a dumb question, scratch that.
There's been strange doings at Devil's Crag
'First the cattle and the horses ripped apart'
But not quite as strange as what biologist Wayne has been up to
'That ugly little feller is the star of a thesis I'm preparing on the subject of physical antiquities.'
'I found that lizard sealed inside this rock'
Did you?
'I don't believe it'
I'm a bit sceptical myself. Still he teams up with Frederick Cleveland
'I'm an archaeologist'
and his daughter Janet
'I sometimes forget I'm a woman'
I'm sure someone will remind you
'Well since you've made the beds you can do the washing up and tidy the camp.'
'Then start lunch, and plenty of it, we'll be famished'
Like all good archaeologists the professor doesn't give up on the search
to which he has dedicated his life until there is absolutely no hope,
but after nearly a whole morning of fruitless digging he admits defeat
'I've decided to give it up.'
'Well, we gave it a good try.'
But then
'Diablo Giant's axe'
Wayne finds the giant's axe but is forced to take shelter from a thunderstorm and when he comes back the axe is gone and...
'If this is Vargas's grave, where are his bones?'
and the first conclusion they come to?
'You don't think he could still be alive'
of course they quickly get hard evidence to back this up
'Is that a footprint'
Still seems like a bit of a leap
'It's the only possibility I can think of.'
How about a tomb robber with big feet?
'Ah you're talking crazy'
But of course, they are right
Well firstly, you'd think they'd have spotted him
but also that is a quite remarkable state of preservation
'I have come to the conclusion that there is some unusual
and unknown substance in the earth that acts as a preservative'
Did it also restore him to life?
'His unusual strength sustained him, but he Fell into a deep coma,
now the Indians mistook this for death and buried him at a spot near where we found the armour.'
Out of interest, was it the same deal with the lizard?
'Dad, I've had all I can take'
Now, obviously this is nonsense but, even taking it on its own terms, something's not right
'You know there's something that puzzles me'
If he was just brought back by the storm
That's quite a storm, we better get back to camp.''
who killed the animals earlier?
'And how about all the sheep that have been disappearing'
'and Cooper's chicken house'
and Len Garrity's goat, what ripped that in half,
plus that cat with the lazy eye.
'There's your alibi.'
The other option is he was brought back by the earlier storm which brought back the lizard,
but that would mean that he got up, killed some animals and then buried himself again
'This is ridiculous'
You're just noticing now?
'We have to do everything we can to help him,'
'But first I have to make a plaster cast of that footprint, otherwise none will believe me'
Yes, the plaster cast of a large footprint is certainly all the evidence anyone would need to believe you were attacked by a reanimated conquistador giant
'This is unbelievable'
And yet you really believe it, and that's important because it raises the question:
why don't you just leave? Before it catches you.
Things now move fast, a posse is gathered of yet more people not questioning the basic premise. '
Look out! Take cover!'
Moron. They pin down the giant.
'He's boxed in up there alright'
Which is a problem because the movie's not done yet,
so they need a character be so stupid that in real life they wouldn't be allowed to tie their own shoes
in case they accidentally garrotte themselves
And so the giant escapes for heroic Wayne to tackle it, mano a mano.
It's survived being shot but can't face a stick
A happy ending.
Didn't that rail just break?
Do you think anyone will believe us'
'No. No, come to think of it I don't suppose they ever will'
Nonsense, of course they will. You've got a plaster cast of a footprint.
'That's silly.'
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A missing skeleton can only mean a reincarnated giant,
What other B-movies have an example of wild conclusions?
'Hey, wait a minute, I ain't half finished.'