dramatic music)
- Welcome to your history midterm.
Mrs. Branch has food poisoning,
so Coach MVP and I will be proctoring your test
because Vice Principals could also use a extra $32.
- And if you think anything'll get past me, you're wrong.
I've got the eyes of an owl and the instinct
of a moose in heat.
- And just a reminder, if you are currently
on a sports team and you fail the semester,
you will be cut from your team.
- But, you know, wink, wink.
These are our athletes right?
snaps)
- Vice Principal Tucker, tolerates no buffoonery.
- Sharts.
clears throat)
- You may begin.
tense music)
- Hey.
- Can I help you?
- I'm just making sure the test answers aren't out
for the kids to see.
- No, we don't keep the answer keys in the room
where the students are testing.
- Okay.
They wouldn't want to cheat on this test anyway, right?
It's fairly easy.
Why was the Battle of Midway pivotal
to the war on the Pacific?
Are you sure the answer key isn't in here?
- Yes, I'm sure.
- 'cause it's in your...
Office?
I gotta leave the room for a minute.
- Why?
- Uh...
I gotta go pinch off a loaf.
Okay, deliver a food baby, express drop off to brown town.
- Why don't you just say you have to go to the bathroom.
- I have to go to the bathroom,
to take a big ole dookie.
tense music)
record scratches)
- What are you doing in Vice Principal Tucker's office?
groans)
- Hi, Rose.
He actually borrowed something from me,
so I'm, yeah, I got it, I got it.
- He borrowed a photo of himself on the beach
with his dog?
- The dog, is my friend, so yeah.
- Well you have it.
- Yeah. - So.
- Oh, my shoe's untied.
There we go.
Tied shoes, double knotted, bunny ears, bye.
- You forgot your photo.
- I just now remembered I hate that dog, so.
Clean all this up.
- That dog is kind of mean.
tense music)
- Stupid, stupid, stupid.
- Rochelle, eyes on your own test.
- No, I wasn't--
- Talk to the hand.
- CABDA?
- Talk to the other hand.
clears throat)
- Stop it.
- Or share.
shushes)
- Jenna stop talking.
- I wasn't the only one talking.
- You're still talking.
- Yeah, Jenna.
- It's hot in here, right Tess?
- [Headphones] You could be principal.
- It's hot in here, right Tess?
- What?
- The thermostat's on the wall, just turn it down lower.
- Second warning, Jenna.
They'll be no thirds.
- [Headphones] You have qualities and patience,
just like a Principal.
- Kelsey, here's that pad you asked for.
- I didn't ask for that.
- Just take the pad.
- I think I'd know if I'd asked for a pad.
- Take the pad.
- Jenna!
Let me see that.
- It's just a pad, you know, for my period,
it's a heavy flow, it's just like goopy,
strawberry rhubarb jam, just a big ole menses.
- Hand it over.
Ah-ha!
Buffoonery!
- Sucks to suck, Jenna.
Five D, Six A,
- Sir, your finger's covering up the first letter,
can you just move it over for a second?
tense music)
- I can't believe we all passed.
- I know I barely studied.
- We take cheating very seriously at this school.
- Does this mean she's off my team?
- Oh no, who will replace her.
- Of course not, Jenna's an A plus student,
it just brings her down to a B minus.
- Yes.
- B minus.
crying)
Why?!