hi everyone welcome back to my channel today i'm gonna talk about living alone some things that i'm
very familiar with because i've been doing that almost my whole life i've been living away from
my family since i was 15 and now i'm 23 so most of my adult life and my teenage years are spent
living by myself and i have a lot to talk about it because i think that it's a topic that like
i hold really close to my heart i used to have a lot of struggles with it but now i'm finally at
a place that i feel like i love living by myself and so i wanted to make a video to talk about it
help you you know understand more about living by yourself if you know that's also what you want to
do or you're about to do i hope that this video may be able to help you out since i was 15 with 10
i moved away from my family to study in a high school that's very far away from my house that
was the first time that i had to be responsible for basically almost everything from you know
deciding what to eat or when to go to bed or what to do during any given day i was one of the only
ones in my class who lived away from my family and honestly that made me feel kind of special
when i first started living by myself my place was like a mess i i was so messy so dirty
you you have no ideas i would have like clothes or on the floor like my desk would be just a complete
mess of papers and books and everything it's just funny when i think back to that period because
now i'm like i'm not i'm not a clean freak but i do like to keep my space very tidy now
but i just find it funny i wish i wish that i have a picture of my place back then but i honestly i
used to have a lot of ants a lot of cockroaches in my room i just honestly it was it was really
disgusting and i was like sleep on the floor sleep on the clothes that i have on the floor so
whenever i want to change i would just like try to find the clothes that i want the pieces of
clothes that i want through the pile that i have on the floor i didn't really have a closet like
all my clothes were on the floor and it's like really really crazy for me to think back to that
period now that i have changed so much so that was like my first experience of living by myself
i was known in my whole family for being like the messiest the dirtiest just all that stuff and for
some weird reason i kind of took pride in that that oh i don't really care about you know being
clean or being organized that is so boring i'm like you know i want to be messy i want to be like
you know different so i was like that in my grade 10 in my grade 11 even when i have friends coming
over to my it was just like a room that i rented in a house so even when i have friends coming over
to my room they would be disgusted by how you know because on the outside i'm like
always i always wear like different clothes every day or just like very look put together but when
they actually come to my room they realize that how how just disgusting i live or how disgusting
i am it's just very funny for me now that i look back i was like that in grade 10 grade 11 and then
at the end of grade 11 i moved to canada to study grade 12. so i studied grade 12 in hamilton and
that was when i first have a roommate it was two of us we shared like a room with bunk beds i was
i don't remember but it was two of us we share a room kind of like just small like this and
a washroom so it's it's quite small and that was like the first time that i realized that i have to
kind of like you know get my [ __ ] together and be organized or else my roommate will be really
mad at me that was the first time that i learned to be tidy and organized ish my roommate of course
was still much more clean than me but that was my first progress coming to canada was the first time
that i actually have to be on my own it's funny because when i first came to canada that was the
first time that i ever flew on the plane that was the first time that i have a roommate like i said
the first time that i went to a different country before that i was just in vietnam and
never been on an airplane before so i was like a complete noob when i came to canada just very
fresh off the boat so the one year that i spent in high school in canada was honestly amazing because
i made a lot of great friends in my dorm my real struggle of living by myself started when i moved
to mississauga to go to my university i think that when you have a roommate and when you live
in a dorm with like a bunch of other high school kids who also just international students like
you it was very easy for me to make friends and i'm still great friends with them until now but
when i moved to the university dorm or residence everyone has their own room and it was a lot
harder to make friends because like people would like be in different programs and you may not have
classes with them all the time and it's like a different environment in university compared to
high school because the university is much bigger and you know there's just a lot more students and
i think i was like really overwhelmed with how big this new environment was it was slightly
harder for me to make friends i still remember to this day like the first birthday that i spent in
my university residence i was by myself in my dorm room listening to home by michael buckley
and just like cry my eyeballs out because i miss my family so much i was all by myself it was like
the first day of school the second first or second day of university and i basically had no friends
and i'm in the room by myself on my birthday and it was like still memories that's like very vivid
in my in my mind till this day just because of how emotional i was and how lonely i felt being
all by myself because before that i never have to spend my birthday by myself so the birthday
the first birthday that i spent away from home in a foreign country was quite hard emotionally but
things did get better and i started making new friends birthday or you know special occasions
like new year's or you know just holidays especially birthday though birthdays like
my weak spots like i always feel so sad on my birthday when i'm in canada like i just really
want to be back home like every year every time it's like special occasion birthdays i would feel
very homesick and very very emotional and very like lonely and just kind of like pity myself
like oh why am i why am i here like why did i choose to come to canada
to just do all of this by myself but come back to the point which is things did get better and
i didn't make new friends i eventually moved out of my dorm in my third year of university
and i started living in a condo at first i lived with a roommate and actually during that time was
when i started my youtube channel right in the living room that was when i filmed my first video
i think so no no no right in the in the bedroom so a bedroom that looks kind of exactly like this
like 80 90 looks exactly like this that's when i filmed my first video
on my iphone i believe that 2019 is a year it's all here it's a year that we just don't
give a [ __ ] about what other people think and just go for our dreams that was when i first
started my youtube channel i think that living by myself really inspired me to do that i think
if i were in vietnam if i didn't come to canada if i still live with my parents like i would not
have the you know courage to start my own youtube channel to do my own things just because of the
culture there like everyone is so judgy you know like if i post a video like i don't know people
would just just judge a lot and just you know talk back behind your back a lot like it's just like
the culture of gossiping and judge judgment please please i don't have any time for any gossip now
and most of the body shaming that i ever experienced happened when i was in vietnam
so that's why i just really wanted to to come here to canada or to a new country to any new
country to be honest and to be by myself so i don't have to hear all those negative words
being around those negativity despite all the loneliness and the you know down moments
i i still feel like it's it's very worth it that i come here and do my own things
be on my own and along the way create something for myself and learn to be my best friend learn
to be my best supporter i always get off track back to the youtube thing so that's when i first
started youtube i don't even know why i tell you all this it's not about my youtube channel
this is about living alone that's my point though like when you live by yourself you have
i feel like you're more you're more likely to start something for yourself or or kind of like
create a separate path or a new path for yourself that is not
expected by your parents or your family actually over time i have you know really
learned to at first accept or be okay with my loneliness with being alone and then over
time i've learned to also love not only just accept but love the time that i spend by myself
love loneliness love being by myself and my number one piece of advice to get to that place
is to just feel your feelings before realizing that when i used to repress my feelings a lot
when i felt lonely i would just like ignore that feeling and like try to distract myself with other
activities with like doing something so i don't have to feel that negative feeling so i don't
have to feel lonely so i don't have to feel like i miss my friends i miss my family i just try to
ignore it and not let myself feel that feeling but i realize that once i give myself the permission
to feel the feeling fully 100 and just sit with it and just cry as much as i want or just feel down
as long for as long as i want and not ignore it or not put any pressure on myself to like
you have to get over this like you choose this life like just get over it already like not tell
myself those things and just be gentle with myself and say to myself that it's okay it's okay you
can feel this take as much time as you want it's okay you're doing so well like i think that being
gentle and kind to yourself during the times that you feel lonely or down is so important it will
help you to process the feeling a lot a lot better than ignoring it or trying to do other things so
you don't have to deal with it i believe that just dealing with the feelings heads on and just
let yourself give yourself the permission to feel whatever comes up for you and be gentle
to yourself during that whole process i think once i truly realized that that's when i finally
you know make peace with my loneliness make peace with my negative moments like i no longer beat
myself up for feeling down a day or a week and not getting anything done or missing my family so much
and just i let myself feel that and i forgive myself for for for everything and not beating
myself up for anything especially when you're by yourself i'm by myself most of the time most of
the days of the week and i realize if i don't treat myself kindly if i don't support myself
or love myself like someone i love then who else because i'm by myself right i think that's just
my little piece of advice and i hope that you can always be gentle on yourself and support yourself
through everything what i also learned from living by myself for the longest time is that i
am the only one who can make me happy like over time i've been in a lot of relationships and
that sounds bad oh my god what slay queen but i mean i mean through a few relationships and
because i live all by myself in a foreign country so in the past when i was in a relationship i kind
of made that person like my whole support system you know like that person kind of just became like
my family in canada and i was just depend on them so much for my emotional support and just mental
support and everything i just depend so much on my partner and i realize that it's not a good thing
i realized that because once the relationship ended for whatever reason or we no longer together
i was just like crush crush crush crush to like pieces and it's it took me a long time to get back
up to get over a relationship because i depended on them so much i kind of just in a way like
lost a part of myself in the relationship because i looked to them for support i
looked at them for the validation for the love that i like that i didn't get to receive from
living with families or seeing family so anyway i realized that i am capable of giving myself all
the love the validation the support that i create from my partner that i create from my family that
i create from anyone i am capable of giving that to myself that's my biggest realization of
2020 and 2021 2021 i say i think starting from like mid-2021 was when i really just like
i love being by myself because i make peace with my loneliness whenever it comes up
i just accept it i let myself feel it and also i know that i am capable of giving myself
all the love support validation that i create from other people there's also something that
i started doing that completely changed the game for me which it is it is it is um
going on solo dates going on dates with myself i do this every single week it's the thing that
you know keep my mental health together keep me from not falling apart i feel like we crave a lot
of things from our significant other or a romantic relationship or we expect a romantic relationship
to bring to our life the things that we feel like we do not have right now once i realized that i'm
actually capable of doing all of that to myself i'm actually capable of loving myself the way
my significant other would love me i'm actually capable of loving myself the way i want my dad to
love me or i want my mother to love me i'm able to do that for myself and i'm able to
bring myself on a date or bring myself to go solo traveling or to do whatever activities that
i wanted to do with other people i'm able to do that with myself and it's actually fun like it's
exciting in its own way you get to spend a lot of time with yourself and you get to understand your
thoughts and your emotions a lot more my point is a lot of times when we spend time with ourselves
we may occupy ourselves or mind with something like our phone gotchas movies anything that's not
really spending time with yourself that's just spending time doing something on your own but
spending time with yourself is go within is to sit with yourself and really listen to what you
want listen to what you need listen to that inner child in you try to understand it and try to love
it and try to nurture it and try to embrace it that's spending time with yourself that's the real
way to learn to love being by yourself so yeah i live by myself i get lonely sometimes but i love
all of it i love all the experience and i just accept whatever comes up for me
i honestly feel like living by myself is a big part of my identity is a big part of who what made
me become the person that i am today if you ever think of you know moving out or living by yourself
moving to a new country starting all over again i would totally support you in whatever your heart
tells you to do i think that living by yourself will teach you a lot about yourself will help you
get to know you a lot more and i think that that's a beautiful thing so that's it for today video
and till next time love yourself be kind to yourself and shoot others the same way bye
you