(high five sound) Top o' the morning to ya ladies my name is JackSepticeye and
Welcome to game called "OmniBus"
There is supposed to be a bus driver on tha background here but it kinda crashed and stopped
And the menu just stopped here, now, since then.
It also says "Press A"
But my controller isn't plugged in...
So... I don't know what the hell's going on
This is about a game
Where you're a bus....
That can't slow down.
It's like...
What was tha...
"The Simpson's" joke
Where Homer was like
"What's the name of that movie
about the guy that had to speed around the place?"
"and that he was all about speed."
"I think it was called..."
"The bus that couldn't slow down."
(laughing)
Classic Simpsons, okay
Ummm.
Free - play
Story mode
I have absolutely no idea what a story mode involving a bus would be...
World Zero, Demosville
Fire in the sky, so...
The bus can't slow down.
It just keeps going forward and forward and forward.
and I have to steer in certain directions.
but it looks HILARIOUS.
and I want to do it. Firework tech.
"OmniBus! I got a big firework that's too heavy to fly into the sky!
Drive off the ramp ahead to help it up.
Avoid the bumpers too."
Okay...
OmniBus can DO THIS!
OmniBus-man AWAYYYY!
Oh god.
Oh god, DON'T HIT THE BUMPERS!
It's like a big game of fuckin'...
OHHH GODDD!
A BIG GAME OF FUCKIN' BUS PINBALL.
That's nuts!
OUTA HERE.
Okay, let's do this again.
I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. Don't even fuckin' rizity wizity tizity WORRY about it.
AHH GOD.
I thought fuckin'...
I thought 'shift' would be a boost, 'shift' was restart.
Whyy.
Why is that a thing, okay.
I can do this this time.
This part...
Not so bad...
It's THIS fuckin' load a BULL TITS.
That's hard... WOAH WOAH.
One of them landed behind me... NOOOOOOOOO.
OMMMNIIIIBUUSSSS!
(laughs)
Good god this is harder then it looks.
Okay, got it, got it, got it, got it, doin' it, gettin' it, got it, DONE IT.
(exhale)
Y'ALL WITH ME ON THIS!!!
Ye better be.
Ye better be with me.
'Cause otherwise I'm alone...
And that sucks, Oh shit did I fuck it up again...
I pro... AWWWWWWW... I FUCKED IT UP.
This is very hard.
Oh shit, OH shit, OH SHIT. Where am I????
What's happening, where am I going? Oh god that bumper almost hit me.
Oh god now I'm going faster.
Oh NOOOOOOOO!
Why does this lady need me to bring her a firework???
Why'd she make a firework too big to go in the sky on its own!
That, THATS WHAT WE CALL REDUNDANCY!
THE FIREWORK HAS NO FUCKIN' PURPOSE THEN!
OHH... SHIT.
Land.
LAND.
OH, OH I'M STILL ALIVE, I STILL GOT THIS!
It can be done!
You MOTHERFUCKER!!!
Here we go, HERE WE GO, got it, got it
OH I'M GETTIN' IT!
OH I'M GETTIN' IT!!!!
YEEAAAHHHHH BABY!
WOAH!! GO OMNIBUS!!!
TO SPACE!
LIVE OUT YER LIFE AMONG THE COSMOS!
USA! USA!
WHAT A DISPLAY!
Thanks OmniBus.
No, thank you ma'm
Thank you for the job, thank you for the work.
Here we go. What is this, oh god I didn't even read it.
"Pilot Guy"
"Now to learn the most important maneuver...
Falling through every floor of a building.
Make sure your tires AREN'T towards the ground.
And make your way to the bottom."
What??
What the fuck is this???
What? Do I have to, OH MOTHER OF GOD
How?.. WHAT DO I DO???
Okay I'm doin' it. OOOOOOHHHH
I get it cuz the bus can't stop
So if I land my wheels on the ground I just zoom out past it.
Got it. Got it. I can DO THIS.
Here we go.
So what do I have to do? How do I stop you spinning???!
How do I, how do I stop you spinning??? Ahh shit...
AHH SHIT.
Do it, Do it OmniBus, DO IT OMNIBUS.
YYYEEAAAHHHHH.
"OmniBus, you're the greatest hero that humanity could ever ask for."
Fear not citizen!
OMNIBUS AWAAAYYY!!!
kay (laughing)
That one, That one was an easy one. That was called "Skydiving".
Why is it called "Skydiving two"?
Where was "Skydiving one"?
Beeper hater.
Is that someone who hates Justin Bieber?
"Football Joe"
"The city redirected traffic to my rooftop football field! Now these drivers have road rage! OmniBus, be safe and avoid crashing. Survive for 60 seconds."
Ou kay.
Oh god, I'm a double-bus!
Oh no! This is hard!
Just avoid crashing for 60 seconds?
Hey man! I can do that!
No problamos
Ah, this is easy this is nice!
Drive around here, avoid these fuckin' things cause they speed me up.
And I do NOT want to speed up right now.
No, NO GOD the bumpers!
THA BUMPIES!
OOHHH SHIITTT.
What was once doable, is now impossibly, annoyingly difficult.
I can do this.
I'm still goin'!
I'M STILL GOIN'!
GO OMNIBUS!
As long as I don't drive off the edge of a cliff.
As long as I stay on the ACTUAL course, I'm fine.
18 seconds left!
OH GOD NO
Go and make a fuckin' snake.
Oh shit, Oh shit, Oh shit, Oh shit, 10 seconds!
Surely I can stay alive,
For 7 seconds!
5
4
3
2
1
HAPPY FUCKIN' NEW YEAR!!!
BOYS AND GIRLS OF THE COSMOS!
Football Joe says, "That was a slam dunk, good job OmniBus."
I'm not an OmniBus,
I am a SUPER HERO.
Okay movin' on. (laughing)
That was awesome!
This is a surprisingly fun game
Tour De Bus
Tour Boss
That's me, I'm a boss
OMNIBUS! Take these folks on a tour of the four nicest spots on the island.
Just make sure one of them makes it through the whole tour
They'll be looking at anything they want, to see up close
WHHAAAATTTT????
Oooohh
Oh Gee, Oh god
OH GODDD!
AHHH FUCK!
EVERYBODY HOLD ON
No more tourists, they all died. Everybody died
A moment for out lost compadraes
At least the music is bitchin'
(grunting to the music)
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh g..
So DON'T turn super fast!
AWWW FUCKING HELL HOOWWWW
HOW IS THIS DO-ABLE
It's FUCKING NOT THATS WHAT!!!
Let's do it OmniBus, let us do it
So you're not allowed turn super fast
Then how the fuck do you get outta here??
Like that!
OOO Okay!
I got it, I got it, I got it !
(laughs)
oookay!!!
Music is hopping!!!
HHHHHHOPPING!!!
Oh god careful, careful, careful
OH shit!!
One of the things you guys wanted to see was a speedy boosty pad ??
WHY?? why was that a thing you wanted to see??
EVERYBODY OFF MY FUCKING BUS!
Sons of bitches !!
Okay so that's the last thing we gotta go see.
What's the other things they wanna see ??
AAaahh shite..
This might be harder to do than I first realized
Ohh god!
OOH god oo god
Don't turn too fast DON'T turn too fast
Cause then everybody falls out and dies
I don't want everybody to fall out and die.
Okay what else you guys you wanna see??
Don't tell me I have to do it in that order..
AAAh balls
WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY??
OOO for the love of fuck!!
AAAAAAAAAA GOD !!!
HOLD ON EVERYBODY!!!
TH-THIS is, this is quite difficult
QUI-Quiiite difficu OOO SHIT I was fine, I was fine
I FUCKING HAD IT, I HAD IT !!
Fall in
FUCK IT YE SONS OF TOURIST BASTARDS!!!
I HAD IT
They were all in,
And everyone was having a great time,
And the boost had warned off,
And then it was just like naaaahhhhhhh
Fuck you Jack !
Okay this is very do-able.
Just like your mama!
AAAAhaaaahaaaa!!!!!
Okay less of those awesome amazing jokes
Okay, we go this way because the thing was over here.
So we can get it on the way back.
Here we go ooo tactics οοο tactics..
Can I hit the other boosty ??
I better not have.
Everybody hold on we are going to see the fucking leaning tower of awesome!!
Where those cars flying ??
YESSS MISSION COMPLETE!!!
What was that ? Everybody was left on the bus? I am the best busdriver? Of course I am !!!!
TOUR GROUP.
I thought, I thought you were tour boss
Wow, what a tour! Great work, OmniBus!
DING
Ehe
OK, last level. I think..
The bank. "Break the Bank
Become a millionaire is my goal for the level
I can do dis
The Mafia:
Hey OmniBus! I need you to break
into the central bank and collect one million
dollars for my goons and I, see?
You'll need to be going real fast, see?
I'll toss ya a cut if you do it good, see?
I do see!
So, we gotta be going SUPER fucking fast for this
Oooh yesss..
Oh yeah where the fuck is the bank!?
WHERE IS THE BANK? AUUGH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
BEUH!
A simple sign slowed me down THAT MUCH?
What a load of poopy ASS DICKS!
Cmon man..
I say that a lot, cmon man
Break the Bank, I'm trying..
I need to keep this fucking speed up though.
BEUH!
WHY do I slow down going over the fucken little lipy lip?
That are a suck..
K
I'm still, I'M STILL GOOD
I'm still, I'm still in the game
didn't fail yet
oh, I am not a failure
I am not a failure
I am not Jack Failure Johnson
the, the criminal from the east
ok, simple fucking things keep killing my speed
that is not what I am about!
SPEED IS KEY!
(smack)
FAAAA... Do I just keep going around and around and around and around until I get a bunch a speed?
fucking cars get out of my way!
this is the bus lane!
respect the bus drivers
(singing) hail to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver, hail to the bus driver, bus driver man!
OOOHH GOD!
I got it, I got it, I GOT IT!
YES I BROKE THE BANK!
what?
I have to break the bank and get the money out of it? Ah come on!
that's much harder to do
I thought I just had to go really fasty-foo and then break the bank
aw man, break the bank, ok
so this seems to be enough speed already, oh fucking sweet mother of god
booooooohhhhhhaaaaaaa
everyone's all dizzy inside the bus now
no!
god damnit
ok, so I need to be goin fast
the lip at the front of the thing slows me down, so if I hit three speedy boosties
then I should be good enough
I got this
I got this. I am the speed demon
I am the speediest. I am the guy who is speed
k, we get four just in case
now fly towards that bank. BUH!
the fucking lip on the front of it's just like neeeaaahhh
I hate it
I hate it so much
go with the fucking music, go with the fucking music
(singing) duh duh duh duh duh duh duh
this is how we're gonna do it. Oh god I can barely even see
OOHHH god we're goin fast AHHH GOD ALMIGHTY JESUS!
AHHHH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH AHHH
(laughing)
yes, I did it, I did it! I crashed into it
what do I do?
do I have to get a million dollars out of this? Aw fuck
things just got exponentially harder
why?
when does it end?
when can I end my suffering and torment?
oh god, I'm gonna hit a fucking (gasp) that is a giant stack of cash back there
I wanna get that
AH GOD I MISSED IT!
get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it
yes! Oh shit, oh shit, no, no, no, no, let that be the end
why?
why do you have to be so greedy, mafia? Take what you can get and go
AW FUCK!
FUCK!
don't crash, don't crash in the water, don't crash in the water, fix it, fix it, fix i- fuck!
ok, well, I'm gonna leave this episode here
that's actually a really good game
it's free to play and I'll leave a link in the description, you guys can go off and play it for yourselves
really damn fun. So damn frustrating at the same time
and I can't do that last one
there's too many bags to get. I broke the bank
that's all it said!
the mafia should swoop in and get the money, and come back out themselves instead of me having to do it all
I'm an Omnibus not an Omni-fucking escape vehicle
anyway, thank you guys so much for watching this episode
if you liked it, punch the like button in the face, LIKE A BOSS
and high fives all around (high five sound) (high five sound) thank you guys and I will see all you dudes
IN THE NEXT EPISODE!
"Am I gonna mess up if I don't get the liiiiiives. Live from down town. IT's POOP
Yes! Die everybody. The fuck are playing music? What do you wanna play, the.. song of our people?"
glory to Arstotzka, greatest country