♪♪
-Good morning. What's going on, everyone?
Welcome to "First Take,"
ESPN's Home for the hottest sports takes.
I'm Molly Qerim, and here with me
is the always outspoken Stephen A. Smith.
-Molly! It is fantastic to be here!
Absolutely fantastic!
-And our newest co-host, a man who thought the show
needed more passion and energy,
Dallas Cowboys legend Michael Irvin.
-Okay, Molly, Molly. Uh, Molly, Molly.
Stephen A. right here. This -- Stephen -- You --
Stephen, you wrong, brother! Okay?
It is not fantastic to be here.
It is a delicious privilege to put on this suit!
You understand? To put on this $6,000 tie clip, okay?
The thickest one ever made.
This is here -- This -- What? This -- Whoo! This is special.
-Okay, uh, want to remind you both
that it's 10:00 a.m., okay,
and we have an hour and 58 minutes to go.
Alright. Let's start with the Sunday playoff game in Tampa,
where Tom Brady's Buccaneers
will take on the red-hot L.A. Rams.
Guys, the question everybody is asking --
is Tom Brady an exceptional quarterback or very exceptional?
-Now, Molly, I've been thinking about this for a long time.
I stayed up all night wrestling with it.
But today there is no doubt that Tom Brady
is an exceptional quarterback like the great Peyton Manning!
And to say anything more would be blasphemy!
Period!
-Excuse me, Stephen A.!
Tom Brady is very exceptional.
Okay? And Peyton Manning? Please!
Tom Brady would beat Peyton Manning in a cakewalk.
It'd be more than a cakewalk. It would be a cake run.
-Ridiculous. -A cake swim.
And a cake road trip down Highway 95!
No man has never, ever seen
a cake travel so quickly, period.
-Okay, guys, people are still letting their coffee kick in,
and you already sound like you've been hit
by a bulldozer of cocaine.
-Hey. Don't threaten me with a good time. [ Chuckles ]
-Okay. To settle this,
let's go to Todd Levane from the fan site Sports Horse.
Todd, is Tom Brady exceptional or very exceptional?
-Okay, first of all, everybody,
thanks for mounting the Sports Horse.
Hold on tight 'cause this bronco bucks.
[ Horse neighs ] Okay, Michael,
I know you played in the NFL for 12 years.
You're a hall-of-famer. I just started a website.
But you know nothing about football!
Thomas Edward Patrick Brady is not exceptional!
He's not very exceptional!
He's clearly very, very exceptional!
-What?! Oh, no, he did not. No, he didn't.
-Tom Brady plays like
he's always got a chip on his shoulder
and his back against the wall,
and that's why he is the supreme dominator of men!
He eats planets!
And that's straight from the Horse's mouth!
[ Horse neighs ]
-O-kay. Love that passion.
But, guys, people have the show on in the background
while folding laundry,
and you're scaring them and waking up the baby.
Alright, so, let's talk about it.
Does Tom Brady play like his back is against the wall
or like there's a chip on his shoulder?
-Molly, I've thought a lot about this question. A lot.
I meditated on it.
Then I took a month-long sabbatical!
I ate, I prayed, I loved!
And then I came back with an answer.
And it is indisputable that Tom Brady plays
with a chip on his shoulder because when the chips are down,
you still got a chip right by your face!
-Well, to put this in perspective,
the Elias Sports Bureau is saying that --
-M-M-M-Molly, Molly, Molly. Molly.
Uh, okay, you the glue, okay, that keeps this show together,
but, uh, please shut up.
Because I got to scream.
Stephen A.!
I am not going to sit here and listen to your nonsense!
I am going to stand and listen to it
while I breathe heavy
like a video-game character on pause.
-Well, go -- go ahead. All I'm saying...
A-All I'm saying -- -Stephen! No!
You have offended me as a man. -Okay.
-As a father, as a brother,
and as a nephew. -Yeah. Good.
-Tom Brady must put his -- play -- put his --
He got to play with his back on the wall!
You understand me? That's open, shut, and locked!
-Yeah, lock it up, Michael!
Lock it up and bury it a mile deep in the sea,
deep in Davy Jones' Locker, where darkness goes to die!
You best start believing in the Sports Horse, Mr. Irvin,
'cause you're in one!
[ Horse neighs ]
-Thank you, thank you.
But Tom Brady has given us more years
of quality entertainment than Frank Sinatra himself.
-Oh, my God! -What? Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
-Come on! You're bringing up Frank Sinatra?
That is clearly an apples-and-oranges comparison!
-Well, and that's our next big sports question.
Guys, apples or oranges?
-Hm. -Now, Molly,
I've thought about this question my entire life!
I recently had a long heroic battle with COVID.
Almost died!
I went to the light and I looked at the face of God,
and I asked him this very question.
Molly, it's apples.
-I'm gonna stop you right there, Stephen A.
With all due respect, God is wrong.
Okay? God does not have
this here Super Bowl ring on his finger,
so he don't know the magnificent glory of oranges, alright?!
Like they say, in America,
"it's as American as orange pie."
-Oh, please! You're asking the wrong question!
It's not apples and oranges!
It's asparagus and nickels! End of discussion!
Don't poke the Horse!
[ Horse neighs ]
-Well, I am glad we settled that.
Still an hour and 55 minutes to go.
Alright. Let's take a break.
When we come back, we'll switch gears
and talk to the head of NFL's new anti-bullying charity,
Time Out 4 Kids, Martin Murphy.
-Hey, guys, thanks.
Delighted to be here. And it's apples.
And anyone who disagrees
is a disgusting loser and a moron!