Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘Oh my God, they’re here’
Unbelievably, outside of the US, Shocking Dark was marketed as Terminator 2.
‘A masterpiece’
Which is insane...
'Royce!'
since it’s clearly ripping off Aliens.
The plot:
‘This is Venice today, what will happen tomorrow?’
It will be reduced to a polluted mess, and something bad is happening in the tunnels underneath .
‘Hurry they’re coming, they’re coming! Help!’
A rescue mission is planned.
'One thing is for sure, they have been condemned to certain death.'
They may have expected a bigger turn out, but we have scientist Sarah,
whose jacket is a continuity nightmare.
'Are you sure?'
'Of course.'
A suspicious man in black.
‘Samuel Fuller from the Tubular Corporation’
We make bells.
‘Ingenious’
And of course the marines.
‘Alright you bunch of pussies – I’m back and I’m kicking ass’
introduced via inappropriate workplace touching...
'What we got here? Shawn's best side again.'
and racial slurs.
‘If I would have known wops were coming along I’d have brought my anti-grease spray’
‘Sit on this Black Beauty’
Heading into the tunnels they quickly find one of the missing men.
‘If you enter the city, you’re gonna die, die, die’
Making the most of his brief screen time.
They soon find that the place is infested with monsters.
'Help me!'
They also find…
‘What’s your name honey?’
I’m guessing Newt.
‘Stop it’
This first half of the film is just running around…
'What the hell is happening now?'
and screaming…
as the marines prove themselves absolutely inept.
‘Let’s go back’
In different directions. But it’s okay, because the attempts to give them character are even more inept.
‘Take a look at this’
'Not going to strip are you?'
'I want to show you something’
Probably her daughter, mother, partner.
‘Venice’
Why is she carrying a picture of Venice in her bra?
‘That remains to be seen’
Meanwhile we discover a little more about what’s going on.
‘You mean this whatever it is can take any form of life and transform it into something different’
Which is largely irrelevant except to underline who the real bad guys are…
‘My only interest is protecting the interests of the tubular corporation’
if you haven’t already got it.
Despite their rescue operation’s failure and some pretty serious looking injuries
They continue to the tubular control room.
'You OK captain?'
Oh, my sucking chest wound is acting up.
'Do you make anything out of this?'
But, what do they expect to find? It’s not like they’ll have left documentary evidence of their evil plan lying around.
‘Stockholders, welcome to the operation centre’
They have however made a video presentation.
'These chemicals will further pollute the water and will definitely make Venice a dead city.'
When you think Global Evil, think Tubular.
But now…
‘He’s a machine too’
Well shut my mouth, it is Terminator 2.
‘You still haven’t realised I’m immortal’
I feel like ‘I’ll be back’ was pithier.
‘And now it’s your turn’
'Why didn’t you kill us before’
Yeah, what’s up with that?
‘Because. I was waiting for exactly the right time. That is to say now’
So, you’re gonna kill them now?
‘Why don’t you try to escape?’
Oh, but then your line about it being exactly the right time will just sound stupid.
‘You haven’t the proof to back that up’
Now Fuller can enact the next part of the corporation’s plan.
‘The whole world will be polluted.
’Why do they want to pollute the world?
‘Sometimes terrible things happen. And it’s not always easy to understand’
Cos; evil.
‘You bastard’
Immortal, but susceptible to electricity…
Steam…
and foam. But how will Sarah and Newt escape?
As they fall foul of the Tubular Corporation slip and slide.
Fortunately...
‘Today we will be travelling to the past’
Have your tickets and rail passes ready for inspection.
But when they arrive in 1980s Venice.
Don’t look now.
That’s an amazingly effective bottle.
As a dual rip-off of Terminator and Aliens, Shocking Dark is dwarfed by its source material
and its hard not to focus on that,
'Nothing like this has ever existed before.'
but do give a minute to contemplate the overwhelming cruddiness of every aspect.
‘Yeah, let’s get out the KY see if we can shaft him real good’
'Shall we?'
'Yeah lets'
and think how hard it must be to make a movie this bad.
'What did you think this was, a goddamn pleasure trip in a gondola?
Thanks for watching, for more detail comparison between this and the films it ripped off
join us on patreon.
Director Bruno Matei working here as Vincent dawn is one only a few of whose films we've reviewed.
Which others should we be checking out?
Let us know in the comments below
'Come on, let's go.'