(audience clapping rhythmically)
♪ It's my birthday ♪
♪ My name E-Man ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Can I have your number ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
- Bet. (audience laughing)
- [Nick] Yeah! (audience laughing)
- Did she give it to you?
- I'ma get it after the show. We got a show to do.
♪ My birthday ♪ (bell dings)
♪ 5, 10, 15, 20 ♪
♪ Hands up, get that money ♪
♪ 5, 10, 50, 20 ♪
♪ Hands up, get that money ♪
♪ Old School, New School ♪
♪ At the Wild N' Out auction ♪
♪ I'm looking in the crowd and I see a lot of options ♪
♪ Hey what, what them glasses ♪
♪ I know you know me ♪
♪ Shorty got a fan in her hand ♪
♪ She wanna blow me ♪
(bell dings) (audience laughing)
♪ Water, I see it ♪
♪ It's really cold ♪
♪ How much, goin' once, goin' twice, sold ♪
(bell dings) ♪ 5, 10, 15, 20 ♪
♪ Hands up, get that money ♪
- Y'all supposed to be tough?
Y'all look like the kind of dudes that be like,
"Man I don't be doing all this stuff."
Like, when, when, when your girl try to have sex with y'all,
y'all be scared to moan.
I know how y'all be scared to moan,
'cause y'all don't look like how y'all sound
when y'all moan. (audience laughing)
So I'm, I'm gonna do the sounds that how y'all look,
when y'all be moaning. (audience laughing)
(EMan moaning) (audience laughing)
(bell dings)
- Oh, right there, right there, right there.
(audience laughing)
Oh, you fat, so I know how you moan.
(EMan burps)
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
(bell dinging) (audience cheering)
- The award goes to DJ D-Wrek.
That's me.
(audience laughing)
- [Nick] Hold up, hold up. Help him up.
- Yeah, yeah. (audience laughing)
- (laughing) My head is not that big.
- I would like to thank, thank y'all
for the Head of the Game award.
(audience laughing) (DJ D-Wrek laughing)
- And I'm not gonna take up too much of your time.
I just wanna say, shout out to all my hats.
I know we've been through a lot
and I know sometimes I could be much of a headache.
Thank y'all for putting up with me
and most importantly shout out to Nick Cannon, man
because without Nick I wouldn't be a DJ.
I would just be a wreck.
Thank y'all (audience cheering)
(DJ D-Wrek laughing) (bell dings)
(audience cheering)
- Bible, please.
Sorry I'm late, your honor,
DJ D-Wrek's pillow is suing him,
and they wanted me to take the case. (audience laughing)
I was glad to.
Okay, Tyron, okay.
- Sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir.
- Listen, but we're gonna keep this quick.
My question is very simple, okay?
- Bring it to me.
- If you were driving on a sunny day,
and you happen to see Jake walk across the street,
would you run him over,
or B, get out and fight him again?
- [Nick] Ooh.
- I'm fighting that (censored),
and then after he on the ground knocked out,
then I'm gonna run him over.
(audience laughing) - Okay, okay.
Exactly what I thought.
Your Honor, this case is dismissed.
Okay, he's delusionary. (audience laughing)
He hasn't recovered from the fight
and instead of pleading fifth,
we're gonna plead insanity, okay.
Thank you.
- Hey, but I did not plead the fifth.
- That is true.
He did not plea the fifth.
(audience cheering)
- I am Nick Cannon's thoughts and I love nothing more
than jokes that are original.
(audience laughing)
What did the angel say when he answered the phone?
- Halo? 'Cause it's. (buzzer buzzes)
- It's the whole. (audience laughing)
- Get outta here man.
- Let's go Eman. (audience cheering)
- Oh, right there, right there, right there,
right there, right there, right there, aw.
That's how white people sound when they have sex.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- [Cortez] That's it, that easy, baby.
Old School, let's go.
- Your answer is signs he's into white girls.
(audience laughing) (buzzer chirps)
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Your answer is Songs on DJ D-Wrek's favorite playlist.
(buzzer chirps)
- What is,
♪ I got the whole world on my neck ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Your answer is Wild N' Out
cast member's childhood nicknames.
(buzzer chirps)
- What is, well my name was ManMan,
'cause I mean, okay. (buzzer buzzes)
- [Nick] Sit your ManMan ass down.
- Your answer is things your token white friend says.
(buzzer chirps)
- What is "No way dude, I got a lot of black friends."
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Your answer is excuses D-Wrek gives
for still being on Wild 'N Out.
(audience laughing)
- So, I can state the obvious.
(buzzer chirps)
What is, this is the only job I have, and I'm homeless.
(audience laughing)
- [Karlous] Don't put his business on tv.
- Nah, we got to y'all over here making up stuff be real.
He sleeps at that DJ booth.
- [Karlous] I know. (buzzer buzzes)
- All right, we're gonna move on for real this time,
your answer is the coldest movie lines.
(buzzer chirps)
- What is I killed Mufasa?
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
- [DJ D-Wrek] You look like the dude.
(audience cheering)
- Your scene is stranded in the ocean.
- Jack, I'll never let go.
- I'll never let go, Rose.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Your scene is an interrogation room.
(audience laughing)
- You know you (censored) up, right?
You know you (censored) up, don't you?
(audience cheering)
No, 'cause you said you bought the beer at 11:59,
and now you saying you bought the beer at 11:29.
You (censored) up, right there.
(bell dings)
- My legs hurt.
- The scene is an extinction level event.
- Excuse me, are you ready for Jehovah's return?
'Cause it's, it's obviously about to.
(bell dings) (audience laughing)
- All right, your scene is in a storm.
- Oh, damn. (buzzer buzzes)
- Chill out.
- Finish him.
(Eman imitating Raiden)
(bell dings) (audience cheering)
- [Nick] Yeah, you gotta give him the bell on that.
- [DJ D-Wrek] I gave him the bell, he got the bell.
(Eman imitating Goku)
- Dad, what's wrong?
- Gohan, go home now!
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Your scene is outside the gates of heaven.
- So, was it a apple or a forbidden?
(whispering) Go, go, go, go.
So, was it a apple, or forbidden,
'cause the Bible don't ever specify.
I think I seen Satan, I think I see. (buzzer buzzes)
You got a (censored).
- [Nick] That was fire.
- It was stupid.
- He was sneaking in.
- If you gotta explain.
Did y'all get that?
- [Audience] Yes.
- Okay, then I take it back, then.
(bell dings) - [Nick] Old ass.
- Your scene is the moment of conception.
- Red light, green light, red light, green light,
red light, green light.
- She the, she the egg. (buzzer buzzes)
- See the egg and the sperm, they be racing.
- I understood, I understood what you was doing.
- I understood you, it wasn't funny.
♪ Boom, big booty, big booty, big booty got a big old booty ♪
♪ If I get in the truck, then it's up, then it's stuck ♪
♪ If I take it to the crib, I'm gonna feel on the butt, like ♪
♪ Ooh, big booty, big booty, big booty got a big old booty ♪
- Speed it up, speed it up, speed it up, let's go!
♪ Big booty, big booty, got a big old booty ♪
♪ Eman on the scene I'm looking real mean ♪
♪ Had to spend a couple green ♪
♪ Just to get in my queen like ♪
♪ Ooh, big booty, big booty, big booty got a big old booty ♪
♪ The back seat ♪
♪ Of my ride ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, yeah we lookin' fly ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, you know I'm lookin' high ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, you my ride or die ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, nah that's a lie ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, I love you EE, ♪
♪ Put the beat beat, on the TT ♪
♪ Let me get a ski ski on the lee lee yeah ♪
♪ I love you booboo, love you booboo ♪
♪ What gimmie a kiss, yeah ♪
♪ The back seat ♪
♪ Of my ride ♪
♪ The back seat of my ride, go, go ♪
♪ The back seat of my ride, you know I got the clip ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, I got a bad chick ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, I'm 'bout to take a sip ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, I'm (censored) with your wrist ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, oh you mean the drip ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride, (censored) that (censored) it ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride ♪
♪ Wildstyle, Wildstyle ♪
♪ Real quick, real quick ♪
♪ Off the top of the dome to tell the truth ♪
♪ This just came to me easy ♪
♪ You should work on your English grammar ♪
♪ 'Cause your language is sleazy ♪
♪ You really want to know what angers me easy ♪
♪ It's the fact you up here looking dangerously cheesy ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Before you said that.
I was gonna say something that was true.
We supposed to give to the homeless,
looks like they give to you
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Your topic is church.
♪ Pick up and kill it, and kill it, and kill it ♪
♪ Welcome to church where God is great ♪
♪ Soon as you walk in, pass the plate ♪
♪ Pass the plates, no, not again ♪
♪ I gave you my 20's, I gave you my 10's ♪
♪ You gave me your 10's, that is not enough ♪
♪ Send it to me or you going to hell ♪
♪ Going to hell, that ain't in the book ♪
♪ Hey, I'm gonna stop coming here, you are a crook ♪
♪ I am a crook, watch it young man ♪
♪ I'm still a pastor, I'll lay these hands ♪
♪ You lay these hands Pastor, you roll ♪
♪ I know this is a black church ♪ ♪ This taking too long ♪
♪ Taking too long as it should ♪
♪ I can go all day about how God is good ♪
♪ Okay, God is good all the time ♪
♪ And all the time, God is good ♪
♪ Pick up and kill it, and kill it, ♪
(bell dings)
- Your topic is growing up black.
♪ Pick up and kill it, and kill it, and kill it ♪
♪ Growin' up black, my childhood, I recite ♪
♪ All I know is get home before them streetlights ♪
♪ Before the streetlights, Mom don't be bluffing ♪
♪ We get in this store, better not ask me for nothing ♪
♪ Ask me for nothing, Mom, that is no fair ♪
♪ I had to stay out, to keep in your good air ♪
♪ Keep in the good air, that make her happy ♪
♪ My mom get mad 'cause I look like my daddy ♪
♪ Look like your (laughing) ♪
(bell dings) (audience laughing)
- You do look like your daddy.
- Conyers and Covington, turn up.
- Turn up for what?
- Because my niece wanted this little plastic doll,
but the all the stores had ran out,
so I brought the life size one.
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
- Old School, wild out. (audience cheering)
- Covington, turn up.
- Turn up for what?
- Because, man, after 14 seasons of me being on this show,
they finally got my little brother on this, man!
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
- ATL turn up.
- Turn up for what?
- Because I got my girl to set Nick Cannon up
to get her pregnant,
and now we set for life.
(audience cheering)
- What? Hey, what man?