it was just announced today that actor and director Ben Affleck is going back
into rehab for the second time this year and in this video we're gonna talk about
why he relapsed and what he's gonna need to do to avoid it once it gets out what
is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is
all about mental health it's also about addiction recovery so in my videos
sometimes I pull from pop culture and see what lessons we can learn so I can
help you out with your mental health even if you're not a drug addict or an
alcoholic you might be able to pull some tips from this video about how to you
know ensure good mental health so if you're into mental health and improving
yours make sure you subscribe and ring the notification bell I make a ton of
videos alright so anyways first off obviously I'll say that what qualifies
me to talk about this subject now although I don't know all of the details
seems like there's enough to have a rough idea about what actually happened
and led to his relapse so just so you know a little bit about me if you're new
to my channel I just celebrated six years clean and sober my drugs of choice
is started off with alcohol it progressed into prescription pain
medications but I was kind of all over the place so not only do I have six
years clean and sober but I have literally worked with thousands upon
thousands of addicts and alcoholics because I actually work at a dual
diagnosis treatment center we specialize in addiction as well as
mental health so we have a big facility I work with a lot of people and
something that's part of my job is I follow up with people and I help people
after their relapse and it's always the same story you always see what happened
when people relapse and like you could see it coming from miles away a lot of
people who are not educated about addiction they get surprised by relapse
but for anybody who knows about what's going on in the addicts mind at what
works and what doesn't you could see that relapse coming from a long way so
anyways I'm gonna read a section from this article from People magazine which
my beautiful girlfriend sent me it says while the actor 46 has been ongoing
husband ongoing treatment and attending meetings
for alcohol addiction his new flame Playboy's May 2018 playmate 22 told the
magazine her go-to drink is whiskey all day she says for sure she added I like
whiskey and soda which makes people cringe but I like it so there's a couple
things here now there's also a part in here where it
says you know the last time he got out of rehab one of his friends was saying
that Ben's doing well he's focusing a lot on his mental and physical health
he's doing yoga and he's meditating he's going to meetings all that kind of good
stuff like that is beautiful okay that is going through the motions all right
like going through the motions doing what you got to do but there's a few
standout faced when that section about him dating somebody now I don't care if
she's a Playboy model or just a random woman on the street so the first thing
that we're gonna talk about talk about don't date your first year okay don't
beat your first year clean this is what are the biggest suggestions in the world
for anybody who's just getting clean and sober but it's the least followed right
so what you need to understand is that addiction is a disease where we get an
increase flood of dopamine all right when you're not getting dopamine from
drugs or alcohol the next best way to get it is from love and attention and
affection or sex or whatever it is so a lot of people are gravitated towards
relationships but here's the thing like staying clean and sober is hard it is
extremely hard you got to worry about your family or in bed at this case or in
my case you got to worry about your kids you got to worry about work you got to
worry about traffic you got to worry about all sorts of things friends family
members so many things that you got to navigate you got to navigate this
minefield of all of your triggers right and then you throw a relationship into
the mix like it is already hard enough to stay clean one day at a time
but think about all the emotions that go into a relationship right be honest the
Downs putting this person ahead of your needs and things like that and like in
early recovery you have to be selfish you have to do everything for yourself
and build a really strong foundation personally I did not date for a year and
a half after I got clean like and one of the reasons I didn't
date was because I was trying to date I wanted to date but I watched my friends
and everybody around me drop like flies dating the first year sober is one of
the leading causes of relapse one of the leading causes now I don't know if Ben
Affleck and this woman had a healthy relationship I'm not sure but it is very
hard to maintain a relationship in early recovery and this is going to transition
into my next point but when it comes to recovery you have to put it first it has
to come before everything before your job before your kids before your friends
before your family before your relationships and some of you are like
what what that sounds crazy putting my relationship in front of my kids
well let me explain to you a little bit about my history with drugs and alcohol
well the last four months of my drinking and using I wasn't even allowed to see
my son so if I don't put my recovery ahead of my son I don't get to see my
son okay I'm also someone who's lost dozens of jobs because of my addiction
so if I don't put my recovery ahead of my job I will lose that job so that's
where the mindset is all right so one thing that we see is that people often
put their relationship ahead of their recovery so this transitions into my
next point okay his girlfriend she's drinks she drinks
she's a drinker okay now I'm not saying that someone who is in recovery cannot
date somebody who drinks like let me put it this way when I got into recovery I
had a vet whoever I dated like I cannot date somebody who drinks like this quote
says whiskey all day I cannot date that type of person I cannot have it around
me constantly so my girlfriend of almost two years now
she's not a drug addict or alcoholic no I'm in recovery you know and she's like
oh that's cool I don't really drink either I'm like oh oh are you sober to
it she's like no I just don't really drink and I'm like why like I don't even
know people did that okay but no like we've been together for almost two years
I think she's drank and like less than the five times like maybe two or three
and I think it's like around the holidays are like a friend's in town
something like that right so like I knew that she was okay to date because you
know when she comes over and we hang out it's not like oh let's go out and you
know she's not drinking or she's not alcohol here and stuff like that so I
I'm very mindful of who I date like we we get into this idea especially
it's an alcoholic like oh my willpower is strong enough here you can drink
right or you can do drugs and I'll be fine
know if it's around you it's very hard to do that because you're constantly
like you already are obsessing about it regularly and early recovery and then
when it's in your house it's even harder you people will lay in bed I know I
would just knowing that alcohol or drugs is in the house like it is an obsession
you can't get off of your mind like any of you who struggle with like
OCD or ADHD it's like that obsessive where your brain is just locked in on
something so at least if Ben Affleck was by himself or not even if he did date in
his first year even if he was dating somebody if they didn't drink it would
be easier you see what I made so like I don't know what's going to happen with
his relationship hopefully in rehab somebody kicks him in the head and he
realizes this but like you know it doesn't matter how pretty this person is
funny or how smart or anything like that like we have to put our recovery first
and unfortunately we can't date certain people if they are drinking or abusing
drugs we just can't do it because it puts us in jeopardy it takes people out
so so so many times so anyways like I don't know Ben Affleck said it before
he's been sober for a while he knows what he has to do so if you're watching
this if there's somebody who's relapse and stuff like that like like I always
tell people like I tell people I they you know had six months or a year or two
years I have one guy I talked to you tonight you have four years cleaning and
I think they get so down on themselves and beat themselves up a mic that's so
biggie like you know how to stay clean for four years whatever you get before
just do that again and they're like oh okay you know like you can do it again
like just get back up like thank god you're alive like the new statistic
especially with opioid it's like more people are dying than ever this number
is not going down so if you relapse and you're alive at least you have another
chance at this thing so like Jennifer Garner you know that after his baby mama
if you will she she mentions like she doesn't care about the relationship she
just wants him to be healthy for their children and so the
can cope now and stuff like that but like you kind of do have to care about
that relationship you have to kind of say like hey Ben
aren't you supposed to stay single for a while and focus on yourself like any of
you out there whether you're a drunk out of her or not like a relationship it's
like 50% of who you are you give that much you're right shit in this 50% if
you're lucky some of you out there have codependent tendencies you're giving 98%
to that person you know what I mean like we got to focus on ourselves if we want
to improve our mental health we're not gonna be of any use to any man or woman
that we decide to date until we get this thing screwed on straight you know what
I mean and I really need to get back to doing videos on relationships cuz I can
go on and on and on but we gotta straighten up mentally before we can
date anybody else or they're gonna have to deal with us being unstable like
think about Ben Affleck's girlfriend now like she has to deal with him going into
rehab and they've been dating for five minutes
is that fair you know what I mean there's a fare to date somebody when
you're not even ready to date I don't think it is anyways my best wishes are
with Ben like I know he can do this he knows what he needs to do like I can't
even imagine like staying clean in the public eye like Demi Lovato has to do
now like I was thinking it's like I don't know I don't know it's like
there's some like recovery support group for like famous people but like they
should really be relying on each other like that be honest I'm like I don't
know anyways that's all I got for you I'd love to know your comments down
below what are your thoughts on this whole topic of relapse and recovery and
dating and mental health let's have a conversation down below alright but
anyways that's all I got for you today so if you like this video please give it
a thumbs up and if you are new here I'm always making videos to help you out
with your mental and emotional well-being
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