- This entire video is based on a true story.
(horse galloping)
What up, everyone, it's your girl Superwoman.
And the other day I had family over,
and we had all the typical conversations.
Hi everyone.
- Lilly, you say hello to Auntie?
- I just did.
- Say hello.
- Hi, Auntie.
- Uncle over there, too.
- (speaks in foreign language) Hi, how is everyone?
- Hello.
- You know Lilly a big movie star now?
- Dad, that is not true.
- Yes! (claps quickly)
- That's good.
- Lilly, I have serious question, okay?
When you going to give me one role in movie, huh, huh?
- Huh, no, no, no, she going to give me role first,
right Lilly?
- No, no, no, no, Lilly, me, me, okay?
I can play age 25 to 35, that's right.
Married, or unwed.
- What?
- You heard me.
- You know, they say her movie more successful
then Fast and Furious.
They say in her movie, fast, fast, furious.
That's right, I hear on news.
- That's not even a little true.
- Fact.
- And when I'm in these situations, as per usual,
I look around like, holy crap, I'm in a parallel universe
where nothing makes sense.
I'm in some effed up 1970's Indian version of the Matrix
except I didn't take no damn pill,
I was just forced to be here.
Now let me know if you can relate because every time
I'm surrounded by my older family members,
my inner brat comes out and I'm just like,
"Dude, I will never be like any of these people."
Just lookin' around like yo, me and my friends
were cool A-F okay?
We're never gonna be like this.
And I'm here to tell you that you couldn't be more wrong.
Because after some analysis I realize that our parents
and I have the same exact tendencies
with just slight differences.
And being the scientist that I am
I narrowed it down to four key elements.
Number one, details.
Now have you noticed when your parents talk about
what they did throughout the day,
it's an extreme unnecessary detail.
- Today I coming home from work.
So much traffic.
Highway, traffic.
(mumbles) Avenue, Traffic.
But on Markum Road, traffic.
Three o'clock, traffic.
But at four o'clock, traffic.
- What about five o'clock?
- Traffic.
I come home, so bloody hungry, okay,
I buy one soup on way, you know from Walmart,
3.99, mushroom, onion, tomato.
That's right, warm vegetable soup, okay.
So I am going to eat, I'm so bloody hungry.
I open, I put in microwave, two, three minutes,
you know make it hot.
I take out, I take one bite,
not enough salt.
I put in this much salt.
- Wait, how much?
- This much, just this much salt.
I try again, now better.
- Oh, yeah.
- I eat soup, I finish soup.
After that, I wash some grape.
I eat grape.
I finished soup, I finish grape, I think, okay,
now I need water.
I fill up glass water this big, glass water.
I drink this.
I say okay, now I am okay.
- Like it is absolutely ridiculous,
although random, irrelevent crap they talk about,
it doesn't even matter (cell phone buzzing).
I told myself, turn the phone on.
Now who would call me during my video?
Hello?
Yeah, I'm making a video, now you're in the video.
Wait, what?
What he say?
What, how did he say it?
What, what did you say?
What, did you say LOL?
Wait, did you use an emoji?
What, how long was he typing for?
Wait, when was this?
Okay, and tell me exactly what he said.
What did you say before that?
Okay, and, did you say here, or did you say his name?
Oh my God.
Hold on.
Number two, news.
Now let's be honest okay,
our parents pay attention to absolutely irrelevant
ridiculous news that does not matter.
- Hey, you know they saying cheese one of the worst
things you can eat?
They say it on news right now, okay.
They say cheese cause heart attack, okay,
high cholesterol, blindness, weight gain, okay.
I'm being serious, they saying right now okay, Lilly?
No more bloody mac and cheese, jack and cheese,
okay, garbage, no more cheese!
- My parents will literally believe anything and everything
they hear and see in the news,
and sometimes they'll jump to their own assumptions
and just generalize the eff out of everything.
Unlike myself, and you, fellow youth,
that we pay attention to important, ground breaking
life altering events.
(whistling)
Wait, wait why is Demi and Taylor trending?
Wait, Taylor donated 250K, what did Demi tweet?
Oh my God, they got in a fight?
Taylor didn't tweet anything though.
She didn't tweet anything, am I missing something?
I bet you they fought in a club,
you know what I bet you they got arrested.
Wait, what is the main issue here?
Is there a bigger concern that I'm missing?
Nah, nah, it's probably just about Demi and Taylor.
I'm so informed.
(bell dings)
Number three, jokes.
It is scientific fact that our parents tell lame,
repetitive jokes.
Scientific fact.
Just like physics, chemistry, astronomy,
the planets are never gonna change.
Said by grade nine teacher.
What do Hannah Montana and Pluto have in common?
Both their lives are a lie (squeals).
- Lilly, I have serious question, okay.
When you going to give me one role in movie, huh, huh?
- Maybe Superlady, huh?
Because you Superwoman, huh?
(laughter)
Wait, wait, wait, wait, I can be Superdad, huh?
- That's right (laughter).
- No, no, no, wait.
Not Superdad, no, no.
Superduperdad, huh?
- That's good.
- That's good one.
(laughter)
- Huh, Lilly, you get it?
Because you Superwoman!
Superduperdad (laughter).
- Yeah, I get it, I got it.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You know who I will be?
You know?
- I don't know.
- Supermom.
(laughter) Supermom!
(clapping) (laughter)
She's so, she my daughter.
I'm her mother (laughter).
- We've all experienced this, man,
our parents are just not funny.
Unlike us because let's face it.
Our jokes, they're funny, they're intelligent,
they're witty, and everyone laughs every single time.
- So other day I buy one eggplant.
So big, this big eggplant.
- That's what she said.
- Huh?
- Who said?
- I didn't say.
- No, no, she said.
That's what she said.
- Who is she?
- When did I say?
- I never heard you say.
- No, no I never say that big.
- I mean, maybe you say, huh?
- No, no, I never ever say.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Who said what?
Huh?
- Number four, the blame game.
When something goes wrong,
my parents have a list of things and people to blame for it.
Mom, Dad, have you seen my keys?
I can't find them anywhere.
- Because you always on phone.
- What?
- Because everyday, YouTube.
- Because you hanging out with that bad girl,
the one that wears short skirt.
- Oh my God, that was a kilt, it's cultural.
- Because you talking to boys.
- Always outside not wearing bloody jacket.
- It's summer.
- You know why,
because you always telling people home address.
- This is what happened when you wear
shoe inside house, okay?
- You don't drink enough water, okay?
- This is what happen when you don't listen Mommy Daddy.
- You eating too much cheese.
- It makes absolutely no sense.
You see, me on the other hand,
when something goes wrong in my life,
I handle like a mature, responsible reasonable adult.
- Lilly!
Why you home so bloody late, huh?
- My stupid phone is like broken.
It like never tells me the right time.
Look, look, is it daylight savings time today?
Now look, look, look it's frozen.
No, you know what happened?
Lindsey got sick.
- Oh, LIndsey?
- And then I called for Uber,
and Uber canceled like five times.
You know, I think something's wrong with the app.
And then what happened was,
I tried calling you and the phone was busy.
I told you to hang up the phone properly.
And then we went for dinner,
and I had this burger and I got sick,
I was throwing up for like five hours.
Five whole hours, it probably got cheese in it.
I feel, I even feel sick right now.
I even feel sick right now.
And see, another thing, you can't baby me so much,
I'm an adult now.
- Ah, yeah.
- And another thing while I was late,
because our driveway is so damn long.
I got to the bottom of the driveway at like 10,
look what time it is now, 11:30.
I see exactly.
Then I was outside ringing the doorbell for 15 minutes
and you didn't answer and then I finally found the key
and it took me like five minutes because the lock
is like, I told you to change the lock.
The lock is broken, the lock is broken,
and then I came in here,
and low and behold we're having this conversation.
So, I don't know what you want me to do.
Long story short, we's all effin' crazy.
Yo, hope you enjoyed that video.
If you did, give it a big thumbs up
because that stuff matters to me,
and I like to see how many thumbs is up there are,
so if you (mumbles) and you liked it,
give it a thumbs up please.
Comment below, let me know if you can relate.
If you wanna check out my last video,
it's right there, it's called Five Real Ways to get
Work Done, some motivation for you.
My vlogs are right over there.
Also, if you wanna check out the feature film,
My Trip to Unicorn Island, our first ever feature film,
the link is in the description to check it out.
And yo, subscribe because I make new videos every
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It's kinda like it feels kinda strange for me
so if you could just take a second and hit subscribe.
I wouldn't be mad at that 'cause we're kinda almost
at eight million, ahhh!
One love, Superwoman.
That is a wrap, and zoop!
I ate this damn burger, I got sick, I was like throwing
up for, my hair is falling out, look.
This is why I'm late, this is why I'm late.
Why, why?