-Guys, I love hearing about new inventions.
And every new invention has a patent.
And I read that the U.S. Trademark and Patent Office
has issued over 10 million patents since it was created.
But only a few of them have actually become actual products.
So I figured there must be some gems out there
that have been overlooked.
So here's a look at some real patents I found
that I think should be made in a new segment called
"Why Wasn't This Made?"
♪ -Why wasn't this made? ♪
♪ Why, why, why wasn't this made? ♪
-Now, before we start, I just want to say
these are all real actual patents that you can find
on the U.S. Patent and Trademark's website.
Let's take a look at our first patent right here.
It was filed back in 1980,
and it's a device that will keep you from eating too much.
It is the anti-eating face mask.
[ Laughter ]
This is real. And it says here,
"It is for preventing the ingestion of food by the user."
Yeah, it's pretty subtle.
I think people will barely know you're wearing it.
Especially if you're Hannibal Lecter, maybe.
[ Laughter ]
It actually has -- It has like a padlock.
[ Laughter ]
That's crazy.
[ Laughter ]
Why wasn't it made?
♪ -Why, why, why wasn't this made? ♪
-You don't have to do the theme song every --
[ Laughter ]
Every time I say "why wasn't this made."
Yeah. [ Laughter ]
This next patent is --
♪ Why, why, why ♪ [ Laughter ]
Next patent is an office supply.
It's a device for moistening the adhesive coating
on postage stamps and envelopes.
So it wets stamps and envelopes for you.
Let's see what it looks like.
[ Laughter ] There you go.
It's fully functional.
Totally appropriate for the workplace.
[ Laughter ] Nothing weird going on here.
Why wasn't that made?
♪ -Why, why, why ♪
[ Laughter ]
-You tried to sneak that one in there, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
♪ Why, why ♪
This next patent was invented for people
who have to deal with bad commutes.
Okay, it is a self-propelled unicycle
engageable from a vehicle.
So as soon as you hit traffic, it's very simple.
You just pull over, you jack up the car,
you remove one of the tires. [ Laughter ]
You pull this seat with handlebars out of your trunk,
probably weighs 300 pounds.
Then you attach the wheel to that, and simple as that.
You're all done. [ Laughter ]
That should take you probably an hour or two.
Then you just roll off, problem solved.
[ Laughter ]
Why wasn't this made?
♪ -Why ♪
[ Laughter ]
-We're down to our last one,
and it's for all you busy parents out there.
It's the apparatus and method for carrying a child.
[ Laughter ]
Is that a child?
That's a really old boy.
[ Laughter ]
They definitely look related.
[ Laughter ]
They look exactly alike.
They look exactly -- Alright, well, anyways.
So someone just took stirrups and stuck them down a tool belt.
So all your miniature clone has to do is take his shoes off
and climb into the stirrups and then choke his doppelganger dad
around the neck. [ Laughter ]
I actually stayed up late last night and --
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let's see if I can get this thing worked out.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, it's pretty subtle actually. It's pretty cool.
No one really knows you're wearing it.
[ Laughter ]
You're at, like, Starbucks or whatever.
Like, "Hey, can I get a venti?" You know, no one knows.
[ Laughter ]
All I need is my mini clone and --
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Oh.
It's bouncy on here.
-What's that? -It's bouncy on here.
-It's bouncy on there. [ Laughter ]
Alright, hold on now. -Wow.
-Alright, buddy. [ Laughter ]
You're in?
Yeah, not bad. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
I'm so bouncy over here.
Aah! So bouncy! Yeah!
-That's all the time I have for "Why Wasn't This Made?"
If you have a patent that you think should be on our show,
I want to see it.
Send your suggestions
to whywasntthismade @tonightshow.com.