Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to Killing Room!
The game show where you can... FIND YOUR DREAMS!
and MAKE MONEY and also probably die! (A lot.)
But I'm good at NOT dying!
as far as I know in my life...
But I'm gonna be.. Good.. To go.
What the hell was that...
OOOHHHH!
That's COOOOL!
Oh, so if-- If you stream this game...
I can create... A custom URL
OOHHH! DATS AWSUM!!
Well, I mean, it doesn't work now, but if I were to stream this game..
I could create this custom URL and then YOU GUYS!
Could... *Rethinks* DICK me over, WHICH I KNOW YOU DO!
And I don't BLAME you for that! It'd make it more interesting;
I'm too good at this! I need a little..
I need a little SPICE in my life!
Ahn.. "Thor"?
"Mighty ass guardian reporting for duty!"
I DO like being an nice ASS guardian!
So... I'm gonna get into this!
Oh, I was something completely different apparently...
Oh, this is like a rogue-like game, where...
If you don't know what a rogue-like game is, i've talked about it before, it's
where: You only get 1 chance, if you die, you die!
Everything is randomly generated and stuff like that...
OKEY! So, i just have to do good!
And not die!
Is that what I'm supposed to be-- HEY!
How you doin'? Hello.
Woah-ho, that's a bit handsy with--
That's-- That's a little-- That's a little aggressive, I've gotta--
Hey, hey! Stop that! Stop!
Don't even think about it-- Okay.
Sorry-- Excuse my blood hand. You know, I don't have a lot of time to wash.
"We were expecting you, dear. I'm Lily." Hi, Lily.
"Don't mind the smell, it's just the burning flesh of the previous contestants from the second floor."
"Please, go to the elevator which will take you to the training floor." Oh, should I--
"Call me, if you survive."
Okay, ah-- [gibberish] You were looking off to my left,
I wasn't sure if you were talking to me or somebody else here, but
I guess I'm the only one stupid enough to go on this game show.
You know, you-- you jiggle a lot, which is something I appreciate.
Let's see how popular I can g-- what if this was how YouTube was,
like you HAD to go into-- into a killing death pit just to get subscribers,
and your popularity was based on the fact that you're not dead yet?
And you had a wall of lost YouTubers?
Oh God, that's morbid but somehow I want that.
And then you guys would either help me or hinder me-- it'd be the Hunger Games, literally.
Just-- That's the only thing you get if you want to be popular. "Pick up the weapon on the table."
Okay. "Some doors and coffins are locked. You must use a lockpick to get them open."
Okay, well. Why? Also, what's with my hands?
They really were blood-covered hands and I have no idea why.
Lemme just-- hang on here. I don't know why this is important.
Habuh-- huh, heh--
Okay, I'll get 'em eventually, don't worry.
Eh, eh.
This is definitely how lock picks work.
Alright, I did it.
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAY I'm a winner!
"Shoot the bastard." Oh God.
Eugh. What is that, a floating baby head?
Why is he a bastard? "Explosions are a great way to deal with enemies."
"Take the barrel and move it next to the new one, and then-- boom!"
Boom! Oh jeez... "Explosives may seem a little bit too dangerous, but don't worry."
"Give it a try."
Heeuh!
Ha-- Habowsky! Oh, God. Why am I killing these babies?
I have no idea.
Why are the babies big giant floating heads?
A lot of things I-- ohhh. "Turn me on--I mean, turn over the tables, and use them as a cover."
Oh. Ohhhh, that's nice! I'm not getting very popular though.
I-- I really wanna figure out how to do my popularity better-- the-- do.
"Grab those boo- boxes! and make a way up for yourself."
.....Grab those boob-boxes?
Wh-- I dunno if-- [gibberish]
So long as you don't mind my blood hands! They're very bloody, and extra grungy.
Habowsky! Yeah, that worked. Okay.
Physics is awfully forgiving in this environment.
Heeeey, I'm a winner-- "Who's my little cuddly bear now?" Ow!
Owwie... Dick. I am losing popularity and quick.
"I don't know why, but we're hiding useful items in fridges. Ridiculous!"
"Nothing good ever comes from the fridges. Only monsters."
"And what is worse? Food!"
W-- Wait a minute. I'm getting a lot of mixed signals here!
Boob-lady told me to not open the fridges, but you're... Oh, okay.
"Pick up items as they are useful. Don't forget to pick me up, if you survive."
"I can be useful, too, if you know what I mean."
I don't know what you mean, I have no idea what you're talking about, I am really confused right now.
I'm a contestant now!
I like this game! I like it already! It's got sass!
And if there's one thing that Markiplier likes, it's sass!
I don't know if I needed training though, I'm pretty good.
Hey, Lily! Y'wanna come home with me? I don't have a home, apparently.
I live in-- I live in my rags and my blood.
I've just got a blood house, you know-- it's not too bad. Not too shabby.
Assembled it from all the blood of the people I killed. You know. Pretty impressive, right?
Did I mention I killed a lot of people? Yeah. It's true.
I'm great like that. Anyway...
Who's here? Hello?
Howdy-hoody.
Ooh, alright. A little old, but I'll take it.
Kay...
Boo-- Oh jeez. Oh, God.
This-- This feels wrong, for some reason.
Why do they have knives in their ears?
Like, how is that tactically advantageous?
'Take bad item, get popularity.' Why would I do that?
I mean, alright, I'll do it.
New item! 'Good leg, bad leg, no leg. You're still going to die here. You lo--' I lost one leg?
Wh-- I-- How d-- That's not an item!
That's not an item, you just cut off my leg!
Why-- Why'd you do that?
"Fuck you!"
What the fuck?
I-- Oh God, this hobbling. Oh God, my brain is gonna melt.
Oh, hello-- Aw, fuck, dude. Aw, jeez.
What did I do? Oh jeez. What happened?
Oh god oh god oh oh god oh god, I can't-- can't sprint.
Oh, bam, okay. Alright.
Hey, I got money!
What the fuck is this thing?
What is this?
Ohhh, what is that?
Oh, I don't know what that did.
Oh, this is where I lost my leg. For popularity.
Why did I do that for popularity?
Ahh, fu-- woah-- hey-- hey, I'm out of bullets? Oh shit, well that's not good.
I'm probably gonna die here.
Okay. We got it!
Is that another bad item? Can I get my leg back? Please? Pretty pretty please.
Say "I'm a dick" for activation.
[laughter]
I'm a dick!
I'm a dick, baby! I'm a big ol' dick!
But apparently I have max health, somehow.
I have no idea how.
Oh god.
I love this game!
What's going on here?
Ehhhh--Okay, hang on-- Wait-- Hang on a bit.
[Mark noises]
Alright, got 'em. Triple kill, baby.
Oh, is that a foot? Can I get my leg back?
Please? 'Get Goliath'?
Crush your enemies with a single strike.
"Lucky me."
Lucky me, am I Freaanch?
Whoa, that's a lotta y-- whoa, ayayayay!
"You flying fuckahs!" *incomprehensible accent about fuckahs*
You dead yet? No? OoOoHhHhH, yes, pleeeeeaseeee.
First slot is for pistols only. Yeah, I'll take this-- whoa.
That's a...
That's a funky looking weapon am I not roiiiiight (right) about that? *GASPS* MONEY!?
It's, um-- shut up-- n--ng, g--ugh, e-- gurg e, YES!
*Crowd booing* Oh, booooo--oh, fuck you! I want money, baybuh! I want monay. I want all dat moneh.
Alrighty, then. Oh, god, my hobbily bitch-ass needs to get a move on.
Why the fuck did I take that, I didn't care about popularity.
Boss room? Can I get my leg back?
Yeaaahhh! Oh, hell yeah!
Oh, f-- OH, GEEZUS.
EEAUGH.
Oh, my god. What the fuck is that?
Oh, my god are those actual statistics? Holy shit.
Alright. Ha. Hang on, lemme reload here.
Uh-oh. OH, geez. Ow!
The f-- I can't jump, I have one leg!
Eat a dick! Oh, geez. Ohh, boy. That ain't good.
Ahhhhhh, fuck.
Awww, shit.
Oh, god. I can't sprint-- ah.
Aw, fuck you dude! You suck balls.
"Shit!" Hah, ow. HAH, hey-hey-hey-hey!
My fucking one leg. Please, can I have my leg back?
I got a boss eye. Dead but keen, this eye has some supernatural qualities.
You get a crosshair. "Shiny!"
Did I not have a crosshair before, I totally didn't even realize that before.
Hey, I'm a dick!
*Crowd boos again* Booooo, I'm a dick! *chuckles at dick*
Hey, look at me, I'm a big ol' diiiiiiiiiiiiiick!
Imma big dicky-dick!
God, why do I still... have no leg???
Did I get a goddamn leg?
Sorry, you didn't otain-- you didn't obtain enough votes in this level. You need at least 10 votes and you have 0.
I don't-- yeah, I don't have anyone doing this with me right now!
I just don't!
I could tweet this out, though.
I wonder if that would work.
Would that work? *Opens up Facebook* Hang on, I gotta(x2) fiddle with this.
H-- he-- Hey gang.
Need a favor. I'm-- I'm playing a cool new game that has this feature where you guys can influence me as I play.
I have nooooo idea how this works....
BUT! If you guys click this link you can do stuff as I play along.
You'll see...
the results in a future video and possibly we'll...
do it live at a llaaaater date.
Love you... love you looong time!
-Mark.
It's entirely possible *laughs* that it'll do something, but...
Honestly, who knows?
Okay, alright. Populari-- Oh geez, it's so much customization!
(90's radical voice) Whoa-uh! I don't know whut to do, can I get speed? I only have one leguh!
Can people vote to get me another goddamn leg?
Ahhbubuhbububububuh, how about more crit chance? I like crit chance, can I get more armor please?
Alright. Continue! I'm goin' for it, baby! Because apparently...
I don't know, people are... gonna... watch now, I have- I've no fuckin' idea.
(God)dammit, my hobbilin' bitch ass! Who's here? *JonTron's 3 Echs* Oh my god, one foot!
Uuuwayyyh! I'm comin' to kill ya!
Who's there? Egh, eeh, ahg, ehh, uhg, ehh
*crowd boos again* Hello- Oh geezums! WHAT ARE YOU??
Euhg! This takes a long time to reload, Imma-- I'mmunah--
Geezums, oh guys asplode. Well. I. Am. Fucked.
I'm fuckey, fuckey, fucked!
Hey! It's a fridge!
Gonna hobble over there. Oh, geez.
Hepa-doba-doo-boo.
Daba-deebu--aw, fuck.
Oh, god! Ahh! What are you?? Uwahh! Wuahhh! AHHHH!
I can't run away! I'm fucked! I'm fuuuuuuucked!
Ha-buh-da-buh-dee-boo-bee-boo.
Dre-bu-- Ooooh shit, dude.
Alrighty, then.
Well, hobble, hobble, hobble. Haba-dibbuh-dibuh.
Shiiiiit, aww fuck, aww fuck, aww fuck, aww fuck, aww fuck you're scary.
You're scary. *death screams* Oh geez.
Very scary
HAAAAAA DERBERSKI
*Mark laughs*
Huh... OH heyyyyy :)))
I got bloody grimy hands and only one leg
How you doin ;))
HEY.. wow.. eH
*Music starts* Oh it's a door
God damn it
Oh
This is gonna go well
Eh shit..OH GOD HOLY SHIT HI
How are you doin?!?
HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD
[Man on the speakers] FUCK A LIVING SNOWMAN
AHHHHHH
I don't wanna fuck a living snowman, is that what you said??!?!
Oh geez that's not a good sign
Hang on, BOINK
ow
yeeeeyeyeyeyey
Aye yai yai
Aw that's not good
Oh I'm out of ammo apparently
Jesus
Ooook well, killed that guy
apparently
That didn't go well but....
mneh okay
Can I get my god damn leg back?!?
eehhh
"A Chewed Map: You have a chance to reveal parts of the map in each floor"
greeeeaaat
greeeaaatttt
greeeaatt
Can I shout 'I'm a dick' into this?
Not enough popularity. The Popularity-- GOD DAMNIT
I'm not popular enough?
AWH mAN
Can people vo- *Gasp*
People...
[Markimoo laughter]
*While laughing* Why did you vote for heels??!!
*Still laughing* Why did you guys give me heels?!
I ONLY HAVE ONE FUCKIN' FOOT DUDE!
Guyyyysssss you suuuckkkk!
I mean not really, I guess it's appropriate
But it's like, blindly appro- You guys don't know what I'm doing!
Why did you give me heeeels???!!!
Oh geez
Okay alright, thanks- thanks for not giving me bleeding.
That's nice
While sprinting, you sometimes trip and lose all your st- I CAN'T SPRINT!
I HAVE ONE LEG
I GOT ONE, JUST ONE LEG
FUCK MAN!
AHHA SHIT!
So I'm- I'm just one foot with a heel on it, hobbling even worse than I was before
God, I gotta up my speed
Aight ya know what, fuck it
I'm c- I'm c- I still going
Hebeduh hebuh
I'm sprintin
Mah heel, mah one heel
Oh this- it's so like..it's so sickening
I guess it's hard to look at
Oh what are you?!?
Oh geez
Oh.. AW GOD DAMNIT AHHHHH DON'T EAT ME DON'T EAT ME DON'T EAT ME!!
FUCK YOU!
Oh god this is where my- my gahhh speed is really getting hindered
Well that didn't get anybody, I'm glad I did that..
What are you trying to do?
Well shit
How bout- how did I kick that?
Well that didn't work..
OKAY... got that guy
Ehhh geez
Oh good I can get another bad
Hep
What did I get?
"You are trying to talk things with enemies but it's a terrible appro-
L-what? Less damage?!
Eh I guess it's not as bad as LOSING MY GOD DAMN FOOT!!
Why are you poo-EH what are these things??
What are these???
What are those???!!!
Oh geez
Oh fuck me!
Oh god damn it!
All these things suuuckkk
OWWW!!
MY BALLS????!!!
Ugh!
If I die at least it would be merciful on me
Because I DON'T HAVE A FUCKIN' FOOT!!
Blow up!
Yeah, alright I got that one
Ah fuck off!
Fuck off!
AHHHH FUCK OFF!
OH GEEZ I'M DEAD I'M DEAD I'M DEAD AHHHH FUCK YOU FUCK AWWWW!!!
I HAD. ONE. LEG!!!
AH GOD DAMN IT!!
Oh.. FUCK!
*While laughing* I got fucked over baad!
*Sniffs*
Oh that was fun tho
God, if I wasn't getting sick the whole time from camera jostling
ME HOBBLY MARKIPLER!!
COMING THROUGH, IMMNA WIN ME SOME MONEY!!
EVERYBODY GET OUTA MY WAY!!!
Fuck dude that was awesome
I love that, I wanna do that again
Immna do that again
imma put out a new link...uh..
I'm gonna tell everybody that they killed me!
And then I'm gonna do this again because god damn, that game is fun!
I mean, I can't do it live right now
but good god..
that's awesome
And it's like so funny because they have no idea what they're doin' to me
So i'm just gonna tweet out that they killed me!
Oh man that's so fun!
So either way
Immna play more of this
And we're gonna get more from you guys and then we're gonna figure out something to do it live because this is really fun
So THANK YOU EVERYBODY SO MUCH FOR WATCHING AND AS ALWAYS I WILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT VIDEO!
BUH BYE!
[Outro music plays]