- What's up roaches?
It's another episode of
r-r-r-Roach Plays.
Today we're dropping on Agency Island.
What could possibly go wrong?
Like a badass Mary Poppins,
I'm dropping in for a visit,
a murderous visit (laughs).
- Roach
- One shot, one kill.
Well, that was actually more like twelve shots.
(gunfire)
Oh god, I've signaled every alarm in the world.
Running into a boss already,
I've hit the jackpot.
Take that golden boy.
Excuse me sir, there's an actual player behind you.
- Roach
- Nope, never mind, I got it.
Getting this chest is worth the water damage
to my new shoes.
Time to heal up in peace.
Oh god!
(loud bangs)
Grenades?
Who even uses those anymore?
If I don't roach you, those henchmen will.
Get roached!
- Roach!
I wonder what's in that vault.
- Roach!
- So many gifts, it's like Roachmas!
- Ho-ho-ho, my child.
- You're child?
All right, enough drooling over items.
Let's get out of here.
Hey, come here for a sec.
- Roached
- He shoots!
Time to relax at grandpappy's old fishing hole.
- Don't eat anything out of that river
less you want diarrhea boy!
- Now I'm going nautical.
If I can get this tree out of my way,
I'll be in the perfect position for a loot drop.
A gift? For me?
(relaxing music)
Hello?
Any roaching victims coming my way?
(gunfire)
Now that's what I call a banana boat.
Ugh, they're just a bit too far away.
Sprinting away, a true sign of bravery.
I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat,
everybody look at me and my mother-roaching boat.
Did you know roaches can fly?
(gunfire)
- Roached
- Phew.
Probably should have kept that wall, idiot.
Little bit of building going on over there.
A lot of action over there.
Huh, this is so hard to choose.
Who do I roach first?
Easy target, I've got my eye on you.
- Roached
- That ski mask couldn't stop a snipe to the face.
(ominous music)
Oh no, I'm in the storm.
I knew I should have checked the forecast.
- Roached
- You can't hide from the Roach.
Roach away!
(upbeat music)
(gunfire)
Who's shooting at me?
(gunfire)
Huh, it's a nutritious fruit in formal business attire.
Owie, my shields!
(upbeat music)
Oh, I see you guys are busy with each other now.
Well, in that case.
(gunfire)
- Roached.
(Roach laughs)
- Yar, ye headshots could use some work.
- I know someone's got to be occupying that fort.
(gunfire)
That's it, stay right there.
(gunfire)
Oy!
I'm trying to do some roaching here.
Some people have no respect for the craft.
- Roached.
- That's what you get.
Wait, loot, don't leave me!
(sad music)
(gunfire)
Ugh, what is wrong with me?
- Roached.
- Yar, I keep telling ye matey.
- If the storm wasn't going to kill them,
the Roach definitely was.
- Oh, a slurp juice truck, all to myself!
Who needs a cup when you have a pickaxe
and a mouth.
Ah, yes, a snow cone, that's precisely
what I wanted in this four degree weather.
This is how my ancestors climbed
the Himalayans in ancient times.
What's that, Richard?
My ancestors lived near the equator?
Nonsense.
I'm king of the mountain!
(upbeat music)
Well this guy is clearly confused.
I better roach him to put his mind at ease.
Another victim, I mean player.
No, no, wait I mean victim.
(gunfire)
This house would look great with an open roof plan.
(shivers) Getting chilly up here,
and I don't even have a jacket.
Yes, come to me you moronic warrior.
Oops, and I'm falling.
- Roached.
- Glad you made it.
Okay, now how do I get down?
- Scanning, scanning, calculating best way to descend jump.
Present Roach, jump.
- Don't think you're hiding from me down there.
Roach sees all!
We're making our way down the mountain.
And he's making his way up the mountain.
(gunfire)
- Yar, that was terrible aim.
- I'll follow you into the storm buddy,
I don't care.
(loud boom)
Rockets?
Not in my Fortnite match.
(explosions)
(gunfire)
Yes, there we go.
Now just one more hit and I'm
a winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Geronimo!
- Roach Royale.
- I'm against deforestation,
but that Christmas tree just had to be roached.
Another victory royale for yours truly.
Feeling pretty spiffy,
which spy location should I go next?
The Shark? The Rig?
Let me know in the comment section below.
Don't forget to subscribe to Arcade Cloud,
and I'll see you all in the episode
of Roach Plays.
Buh-bye!
(calm music)